Forgotten Wish
by cappie
Summary: Sesshoumaru goes to visit an island as a child where he meets Kagome. The two promise to marry when adults. Will they remember? Or are there unexpected obsticals? COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1: the promise

**Forgotten Wish**

**By Cappie**

**Chapter one**

Near an island, known as Amami O Shima, part of the Okinawan string of islands.

The warm wind, one which Sesshoumaru had never known, caressed his face tenderly, as though embracing him like his mother. The sky was brilliant that day, a blue that he had never seen from his apartment window in Tokyo. Perhaps, his father had been right to suggest this family vacation. He glanced over his shoulder and found his father and mother gently embracing each other as they watched the dolphins play along the edge of the ship. The water was warm enough here. How innocent they were.

On the edge of the horizon, a small line of green appeared, and as the minutes ticked by, small mounds began to form, taking the shape of the island. Sesshoumaru once again turned and glanced behind him, to find his father placing his firm, warm hand onto his shoulder. Glancing into his face, he saw a most relaxed and content expression, as though the pains that he suffered from years of broken bones and dislocations due to his profession in Kendo had disappeared with the warm wind, which too, held him close.

"Papa?" he questioned innocently, "Are we almost there?"

"Soon, Sesshoumaru, soon."

"Mother?" Kagome questioned, as she sat over the stove, stirring the curry that they would soon have.

"Yes, Kagome?" Her mother replied, looking up from her sweeping.

"They are coming today, right? I wasn't wrong, was I?" She fumbled, as though doubting her memory.

"Yes, Kagome, they are coming today." She cooed gently, as she opened up a large window, letting the morning sun stream in through the panes, now sparkling clean.

"Mm, I'm glad. Summer vacation would have been boring if they hadn't come." Kagome giggled, as she tasted the pungent curry.

"Ne, Kagome, what do you want for your birthday? Being ten, after all, is a big deal." Her mother questioned, careful to hide the edge in her voice. She too, was glad that the Okuda's had decided to come, for money was always tight around the Higurashi house, especially since her husband had so recently died. However, Souta and Kagome had continued to grow and bloom, like the bulbs did every year, their colors brightening the small ocean-side inn.

"I don't really want anything much. Perhaps some new colored pencils." Kagome replied after a moment.

Mrs. Higurashi turned her back towards her daughter, careful to hide her tears. She never wanted them to see her cry. She had to be strong, for them.

The front door slid open, and Souta's small footsteps could be heard running along the polished floors.

"Mother!" he cried happily, rushing towards her, his arms full of flowers which her grandfather and he had collected.

"They're beautiful!"

A collection of pansies, daises, and buttercups smiled up at her through lacy ferns. Taking them carefully and plopping them haphazardly into a cobalt blue vase, she bent down and kissed her son's forehead.

"Yep! And I picked them all by myself!" Souta grinned, wiping his lips. The poor boy had just recently learned of the harms of 'cooties'.

"Kagome? Ready to go?" Her grandfather inquired, walking into the door.

"Yes, let's go." Kagome smiled, taking off her apron and walking the length of the room towards the carport. Little did she know what an important impact these people would have on her life.

"There they are! Isn't that they, grandpa? You said a mother, father, and a young boy my age!" Kagome whispered excitedly, pointing her finger at the three people that had just emerged from the ship. Her grandfather, studying them for a moment, nodded in agreement, and slowly made his way towards them, charming them with his lively jokes and kind remarks.

How fortunate that it was that the expected rain was not due until the end of their stay! How they would enjoy their stay on the island! How the fresh air would do them good! How safe the island was! And so, it continued, until the party of four, reached the car, where Kagome stood nervously watching and waiting.

"My my! Now, who is this?" the lady questioned sweetly, stooping down to eyelevel with Kagome, "What a pretty young girl!"

"This is my granddaughter, Higurashi Kagome. Say hello, Kagome." Her grandfather instructed kindly.

"I'm very pleased to meet you." Kagome said timidly, bowing low.

"And what nice manners. My name is Okuda Mara." She exchanged, getting up, and bowing low in return. "This," she motioned, "Is my husband Okuda Isamu." The man bowed low, smiling gently, as if he knew some unseen joke, "And this, is my son, Sesshoumaru." She motioned to the boy that stood in front of her. He bowed, but not as low as the others had. His face was blank and emotionless, but his eyes conveyed his emotions, hesitant, and unsure of his surroundings.

"It's nice to meet all of you." Kagome replied once again, bowing.

"Now, now! Shall we go; Yuuki has prepared lunch and is expecting us."

"Your daughter in law, correct?" Mrs. Okuda questioned, climbing into the car.

"Yes, please, do call her Yuuki. We are all friends here." He laughed, starting the car.

"Ne, mother, it's alright! I'll watch after Souta, and so will Sesshoumaru! We will be fine!" Kagome urged, grabbing a lantern on the back porch. Mrs. Higurashi exchanged looks with the other adults, but then after a moment, seeing an affirmative from the Okuda's, answered, "Yes, but be back soon, okay?"

"Of course!" Kagome smiled, and grabbing Sesshoumaru's hand, she pulled him cheerfully along the back path that led down to the public beach. Souta was hurrying in the rear, his small legs trying to keep up. The night was warm, and the stars above shinning like fireflies, which gathered around the pale lantern of the sky; the moon.

Sesshoumaru studied this girl, who was so urging him along. It was strange, no one had ever taken his hand in a game, and no one had ever been nice to him—except his parents. At his school he was left alone, isolated; he was not even noticed enough to tease. And this was the way it had been, ever since his half-brother had entered the school, which had been five years ago. The two hardly spoke, unless forced to; and never participated in games together. It seemed as though Inu Yasha had taken his place in and Sesshoumaru had been cast aside like some old toy.

No body ever said anything about the cruelty of it all, for it was dishonorable for his family to even allow the two to attend the same school. After all, it was common knowledge that Inu Yasha had been a result of an affair between his father and the _woman_. It was even more terrible, however, that the two shared the characteristics, which clearly showed their genetic background. Silver hair, the golden eyes…

"Isn't this nice, Sesshoumaru?" Kagome questioned, digging her toes into the sand.

Sesshoumaru said nothing, but continued to look blankly at the sea.

"Do you want to go in?" She questioned, curious.

"No." he said after a while, "I can't swim."

"Oh…that's too bad." Kagome sighed, sincerely sad, "Ne, tomorrow, grandfather and I will show you how! Is that alright?"

"Whatever." He grumbled his expression one of exasperation.

The two were quiet for a while watching Souta kick the waves and giggle madly in his own amusement. The sound of cicadas had died down in the night and only the lap of the waves gently kissing the sand could be heard. A cricket began to sing its song, reminding Kagome of the violin concerto's she had once heard on the radio.

"Is this what you do?" Sesshoumaru questioned silently.

"What?" she responded, confused.

"Is this how you live your life? On the beach at night? With your friends during the day?"

Kagome looked at him for a moment. Something was troubling him.

"I try too. I am most happy when I am by the beach and with my friends. I am happy right now, for I have both with me." Kagome explained, looking up at the moon that hung low on the horizon. She was not aware of Sesshoumaru's amazed glance.

He looked at the moon too; he had never seen it so big amongst all the towers of Tokyo. Perhaps, this was what he had longed for—to be away from the towers of Tokyo, which gobbled up his happiness, like starved chickens.

"Tomorrow let's spend the day together." Kagome chirped happily, making designs in the sand.

"Okay." He replied, not aware in the dark that he was smiling.

It had been a week since the Okuda's had first arrived, and everything was going beautifully, including the weather. Although there had been some speculations of rain, the storms seemed to completely bypass them, leaving only fresh cool ocean breezes, which flourished the rice fields.

Mrs. Higurashi and Mrs. Okuda seemed to have become fast friends. Mrs. Okuda was simply fascinated about rice fields, so often the two could be found weeding or inspecting the plants with keen eyes. If not there, they would be down in the small town of Kaze, talking to each other about their life's experiences while sipping a cup of tea at a local café, which a friend of the family owned. Grandfather and Mr. Okuda often spent the days relaxing in the clubs downtown, where they amused themselves playing 'Go' and Ma Jongg—and if not there, the two would be walking along the beaches and hillsides, grandfather pointing out the flora and fauna of the island.

A few times a week however, Mr. Okuda would treat himself to watching the young children practice their kendo in the local Buddhist church. At night, he would return and watch the adults where he was welcomed with open arms; for he was one of the highest ranking in skill throughout Japan.

It was now a sunny summer afternoon with light the color of honey which washed everything with the beautiful haze. Sesshoumaru and Kagome, as well as the rest of the Higurashi family, had gone out to shop for lanterns to decorate their house in celebration of the Obon festival, which was soon approaching. Isamu walked towards the house, he could see his wife cutting some zinnias from the patch closer to the road. Mrs. Higurashi had said the zinnias had done well this year. Some of them were unusual colors—salmon, lavender, and peach.

He stepped inside the house and waited a few seconds for his eyes to adjust. The echo of children's voices could be heard. From the hallway he could see the wooden sun porch. He walked towards the kitchen, and was about to put down the basket of herbs he had been carrying, when the pain came. It was almost as though something, a small hand perhaps, was scratching the walls of his chest. He stood motionless, looking past the basket of herbs in his hand. Then the pain became sharper. It started somewhere between his chest and stomach and spread both upward and downward.

Behind him, the door opened. His wife was coming into the house. He wanted to turn around and look at her coming down the hallway, pink and purple zinnias in her hand. But his chest hurt too much. He had to stand still, and concentrate on the pain. _Mara,_ he wanted to say, _don't worry._ _Don't grieve_. But he could not utter a sound. Mara was saying something to him. He could not hear clearly. The echo in his ears became louder. For the first time, it seemed to block out any noise. Mara had now tossed the bunch of zinnias on the table. The flowers scattered over the basket of herbs.

_Zinnias for the alter,_ Isamu thought. _Thank you Mara._ He tried to smile. _The flowers are for me. They are beautiful._

"Don't cry, Sesshoumaru." Kagome said quietly as she gently touched his shoulder. "Think of how happy he will be…now he can live here forever…"

Great clouds rumbled in the distance, bringing with them the smell of the mainland. The sea had turned stormy, a mixture of gray resting atop white highlights of foam. The trees sang softly overhead. The whole world seemed to be mourning the loss.

"We came here for him to relax…" Sesshoumaru sniffled, "His nerves were terrible…the stress…"

"It's not your fault. It's no ones." Kagome insisted.

Sesshoumaru continued to cry for a few moments longer, but then, finally, he managed to sniffle out, "From this point on, I will never cry again."

"Don't say such things…" Kagome said quietly.

"I wish I could stay here with you forever…Tokyo is so terrible…" he explained quietly, as though to himself. Kagome looked at the boy, who for two weeks had become so very close to her. Indeed, she wished he could stay here forever. They could grow up and grow old together—that was her one wish. Twiddling with her earlobe, she took off her one of her silver earrings, which held a small orb on it.

"Sesshoumaru, when we grow up, lets get married." Kagome stumbled out, embarrassed. Perhaps she could heal the wounds of his father's death. Sesshoumaru looked at her, his eyes wide in amazement and shock.

"Okay?" she questioned nervously.

He paused for a moment. How happy he had been with her on this island. He had hoped the days would have never ended.

"Alright." He sniffled, smiling, which he was still unaccustomed to.

"Here. You keep this, to remember me by." Kagome smiled, placing it into his outstretched hand. "I don't have much…but…keep it with you."

Sesshoumaru gazed down at it, as though some treasure. Digging into his pocket, he found a small silver ring his mother had given him on his twelfth birthday. Although he liked it—he was never allowed to wear the jewelry at school. Placing it in her hand, he said seriously, "Promise you won't forget?"

"I promise."


	2. Chapter 2: the present

**Forgotten Wish**

**Chapter 2**

"…Which will be, Higurashi Kagome. This year's valedictorian. " The man said pleasantly, adjusting his glasses slightly an insincere smile on his face. He was glad this batch would be gone—and only five more years of such torture, and he would be free forever!

Kagome looked up, startled by her name, but then she slowly rose from her chair after her friend Sango had urged her on. Kagome flushed a bit and although she wasn't terrible at public speaking, it made her nervous to see and feel all these eyes on her. Walking shakily up the steps to the podium, her breath was caught momentarily at the different perspective the world had turned into. She had control, looking down on them, and she would keep it…or at least as long as she was allowed to…

"Many of us have dreamed for this day. Others have dreaded it. But no matter which one it was, you know that today is a turning point in your life. Today is the day your dreams start becoming a reality. Do not let anyone hinder you, for we are all now mature with the experiences had have had in these past three years…and I hope that they were memorable." She smiled softly, as she saw Sango gingerly wiping her eyes with her embroidered handkerchief. "Thank you."

What she had spoken was true…today was the day her dreams would become a reality.

The principal bowed towards her slightly and handed her a casement in which held her diploma. She allowed a smile to break free onto her face. An applaud began, steadily growing louder, and Kagome nearly drowned in the sound as she uncertainly, and most unsteadily, made her way towards her seat. She felt handshakes of congratulations, and wishes of good luck; but all were a blur. She blinked back tears of happiness. Now, her future had begun.

"Sango chan!" Kagome called hurriedly from her bench.

"I'm sorry I'm so late…!" She breathed heavily, caring her two suitcases of luggage. "My mother got all weepy on me…"

The announcer overhead could barley be heard above the din of the station: however the message was clear. The train was about to leave. Kagome and Sango frantically scooped up their luggage and ran madly over towards the train. One of the stewards saw them across the station and motioned for the train to wait a few moments longer. This was very odd especially with Japanese trains.

"We are so sorry!" Sango blurted out as they made there way on board.

"Save it." The man grumbled irritably, as he walked into the recesses of the train. Sango and Kagome exchanged glances with one another, grinning slightly.

A month ago they had graduated, under the late plum blossoms of spring. The winter had been harsh that year; however the sun finally had broken through, painting the world in light pinks and soft greens. On one particularly beautiful day in early March, a cheer had gone up from Senai High school in Kobe, as the graduating class had celebrated their victory of making it through the three long years of high school. For the past month, the two girls had searched the phone books madly in search of cheap apartments in Tokyo, every 'right-out-of-high-school-student's' dream. Finally, they had found one, with help of a family friend. And today was D-day for the two, the day if they could see if their friendships and dreams could stand the harsh reality of Tokyo and all its bustling streets, from Shinjuku to Asakasa.

"Come on, let's find our seat." Kagome instructed, once again picking up her luggage.

"This is the first time I have been on a Shinkansen …" Sango murmured to herself.

The two young girls looked up curiously at the place they from now on would be calling home. A great wooden door, worn with age and love greeted them; its glass panels reflecting splashes of color that the sunlight provoked. The building, although traditional in design, held something of the fifties. An essence, perhaps. In front was a collection of potted plants, particularly colorful zinnias, now in bloom—their reds and yellows standing out against the white plaster of the structure. Kagome reached out for the door handle, and arranging her expression to one of enthusiasm and cheerfulness (instead of that of exhaustion and frustration) she opened the door. Sango, who too had changed her air, followed in after her.

The interior was dark, although lit by the afternoon sun. An inner window was open, and inside the porthole she saw an old lady, brewing herself a cup of coffee. They called out cheerfully, "Excuse me!"

The woman looked up, her wrinkles forming into a genuine smile. "Ahh…you two must be Higurashi, and Watanabe. Come on in, the door is open." The two did as they were told, although a little ill at ease. Inside the room was as though she was traveling back to in time to directly after the War. Kagome and Sango placed their luggage carefully on the polished wooden floor.

"Please, sit. Would you like a cup of coffee?"

"Sure." Kagome said, smiling hesitantly.

"No thank you. I don't drink coffee." Sango explained.

"Oh, well then, I will make a cup of tea. Really, it's no bother."

Sango and Kagome sat patiently waiting, glancing every once in a while about the room. An odd assortment of vases, picture frames, lamps, and teapots were scattered onto lace strewn shelves. However the over all feeling was that of tradition that of the samurai; and traditional Japanese way of life. The mistress returned, her hands carrying a tray, filled with a variety of muffins, and a steaming pot of tea, and two cups of coffee.

"Oh, here let me help you—," Kagome began, getting up.

"No need." The lady smiled sweetly, "Now, sit down."

Kagome did as instructed, and lowered herself down into the chair.

"Oh! How rude of me! I forgot to tell you my name, its Mimasaki Kaede."

Both Sango and Kagome bowed low in their seats, saying in formal Japanese, "It's very nice to meet you."

"So, you two are interested in the apartment, eh?" Kaede asked quietly, pouring tea out of the steaming kettle.

"Now, if you need anything, be sure to ask!" Kaede said smiling as she watched the two climb up the stairs to the second floor. "And come and visit anytime!"

Kagome and Sango nodded, smiling. They were both glad the interview had gone so well. How would they have told their parents that they were apartment-less in Tokyo?? On the second floor Kagome put down her bags suddenly and explained, "I have to go to the bathroom."

Sango glanced at the door she was standing in front of. By the sign, which flashed"toilet" and a figure of a girl, she had to surmise that the restrooms in the place were public. Oh well.

Kagome opened up the door, glancing inside. Her eyes widened as she screamed aloud, backing out of the bathroom, and stumbling over her luggage in the process.

"Kagome! What is it!? What happened!?" Sango questioned, bending down to help her friend up.

"Th-There's a guy in the bathroom!!" Kagome screeched, pointing at the man which was now gazing down at them, grinning. The two looked up at him, embarrassment on Kagome's face, and curiosity on Sango's. The man squatted down, smiling sadly. When he spoke, his voice was sarcastic, and not at all embarrassed, "Ah. Sorry about that. I could have sworn I had locked it."

"Ah—Ah—," Kagome stuttered.

"Why were you in the girl's bathroom in the first place?" Sango questioned suspiciously, her eyebrow rising. Perhaps he was one of those 'in the closet' types.

"Well, Kouga is taking forever. As usual." He sighed, shaking his head sadly, "God, he is such a bastard."

Kagome and Sango flushed. Who was this guy? The man looked up, his eyes sparkling suddenly, "Ah! I'm sorry again! You probably think I am some freak! After all, you don't even know me or Kouga for that matter."

"…Uh…yes…" Kagome said after a moment. "And who are you?"

"Me? Well, I am…" he got up, and after coughing a bit added, "Nishikado Miroku. Please to meet you young ladies. And you two might be?" The grin had emerged once again.

"…I'm Higurashi Kagome…" she said, still wary of this guy.

"I'm Watanabe Sango." She added, with a bit of a bite.

"Nice to meet you both." He smirked, and then, his eyes lit suddenly, "Oh! You are the girls moving up into the attic apartment! Nice place, but it gets a little drafty in there come winter time."

"Oh. Well…" Sango said softly.

"Well, word of the wise." Miroku began, counting it out on his fingers, "Number one, don't travel the Tokyo subway at night, or at least by yourself. -Especially you being young beautiful girls-, two, don't get too close with Nariya Kouga,-he is a leech-, and three, if you ever need advice about Tokyo, come to me." He looked at the two girls, now looking at him, perhaps not confused, but in awe. Man, these two girls _really _were from the country.

He turned to leave, waving goodbye, when he heard the voice which he had now classified as 'Sango's (for hers was deeper, and more sensuous that Kagome's), "Excuse me, Mr. Nishikada? What exactly do you do? I mean, profession-wise?"

Unusual question, he mused, for an unusual girl. He found himself becoming intrigued.

"Myself? And please, call me Miroku. I write books, I am a novelist." He said frankly. Then turning to leave he walked down the hall to his apartment. He had a feeling that things would be different in this quiet place now that those two had come. Yes, the tide was beginning to change.

Kagome plopped down on her bed and laid her hand over her eyes limply. Tokyo would certainly take some getting used to, that was for sure. Lifting her head slightly, she asked tiredly at Sango who was stirring something in a pot on the stove, "Ne, Sango …what's for dinner?"

Sango turned her head, and smiled sadly, "Ramen."

"Ahhhh…a poor person's lunch indeed." Kagome sighed.

"Don't worry, we'll find jobs." Sango said cheerfully, as she drained the noodles into a colander.

"Yeah, I know." Kagome mumbled, twiddling with her necklace.

Sango watched her for a moment, then coming forward, she plopped down on her bed leaning towards Kagome, "You promised you would tell me one day."

"Tell you what?" Kagome grumbled, closing her eyes slightly.

"About that necklace. About…him…" Sango paused as she watched Kagome's reaction. Ha! It happened every time; that thin line of blush appearing on her cheeks. Maa! How cute it was!

"Does it have to be now?" Kagome flushed, her eyes open towards the ceiling.

"Yes it has to be! I mean, who am I going to tell? Well, I could talk to Miroku…I bet he would think it is great material for a story…" Sango mumbled a grin plastered on her face.

"Okay! Okay…maa, I will tell you." Kagome flushed, sitting up and burying her face into the pillow.

"This better be good…it can't be like some nerd in elementary or something…." Sango commented as she went back over to the stove and dished out the noodles.

"No, I think it's good." Kagome whispered, her hand fiddling with the chain that had a silver ring attached to it.

Kagome closed her eyes, smiling softly. The memory was still so tender…

"I was living on an island with my family. We ran an Inn and a small farm. It was the summer of my tenth birthday and our first and last guests were the Okuda's. They were very nice people, but their son was quiet and lonely. He never told me exactly why….but I think he wasn't happy in Tokyo. Anyways, he was really sweet when no one was looking and we soon became friends. However two weeks into their stay his father died from a heart attack---"

"How terrible!" Sango cried her hands over her mouth.

Kagome nodded sadly, and continued, "He was so hurt, and he promised he would never cry again. He was so nice though, I never wanted to see him sad again. I asked him when we grew up if we could get married. I wanted to be with him always so I could heal his wounds…he accepted, and gave me this ring." Kagome paused, her eyes glossy, "But…who knows, ne? I still believe in his promise, but what if he has forgotten all about it?"

Sango looked down at her hands, as though looking at them would answer all the problems they would face, and unanswered questions.

"Who knows, Kagome? Who knows…?"

Kagome flung open the bedroom curtains and let the fresh early morning sun and air scatter throughout the apartment. Glancing across the room, she found Sango still asleep, contentedly huddled beneath the blankets. Obviously the alarm clocks had not worked for her. Tip-towing across the room, she gently nudged her friend until she awoke.

"Sango…? Time to wake up." She sang half-heartedly. As much as she had not wanted to rise from her bed this morning, she had to remember that she was living in this apartment on credit until they could find a job. And find a job they had to, for Tokyo was no place to be without one.

Sango rolled over and gazing at her friend groggily, she questioned, "What are you doing Kagome?"

"We have to go out and find jobs today. Remember, we are paying for this apartment on credit." Kagome explained as she gathered he clothes, and made a B-line towards the door so she could claim the bathroom.

"What? Oh, yeah." Sango grumbled, getting out of bed even more slowly than Kagome had done.

Opening the door, Kagome had to nearly clamp her mouth shut to keep a scream from rising through her throat. No, it was not Miroku, but another male. What was it with them?

"Oh, I didn't know you guys had finally arrived." He said simply, gazing at her, perhaps amused, yet nonetheless rather surprised.

"We just moved in.," she answered after a moment. This man, unlike Miroku, seemed more her age, perhaps a year older though. He had the look of someone rugged, but deep down a good person at heart.

"Well, welcome to Ippunkan. I'm Nariya Kouga—I live two doors down." He said simply, grinning as though something about Kagome's appearance was highly amusing.

"Ohhh, so YOU'RE Kouga!" Kagome blurted out before she knew what she had said.

"Eh? What does that mean??" he asked, curious, but perhaps a touch hurt with anger. His eyebrows furrowed down for a moment.

"Oh…well…" Kagome began; not knowing if she should repeat what Miroku had told her last night. Figuring these sorts of spats were had between the two anyways, she explained, "Miroku warned us about you. He said you were a leech."

Nariya's expression went from one of astonishment, to exasperation, and finally deciding on contempt, he muttered angrily, "Me a leech? Hah! More like him, the bastard. You mean, he hasn't asked you to bear his child yet?"

"What are you talking about?" Sango asked sleepily from behind Kagome.

A sort of chuckle could be head from him, "Oh, believe me ladies, within the week he will ask you. In fact he asks every woman he meets. No, I think you have been mistaken about leeches. Just watch out for Miroku, everyone else in the building is harmless."

Kagome and Sango exchanged looks.

"Anyways, if you two need help around Tokyo, ask me. Tokyo is nothing compared to Kobe!" and with that he walked off rather proudly into the men's restroom, before giving Kagome one last considering glance. "It was nice meeting you Higurashi."

After the door had shut, Sango questioned her friend, "How does everyone know we're from Kobe?"

Kagome sighed as she scratched her head, "I guess news travels fast around here…"


	3. Chapter 3: the past

AN: ENTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Sesshoumaru! ^_^ change of plans, ne? hah. Gomen!! I am *SO* sorry it freakin took this chapter to get out. I had it ready like a week ago, but I was being evil, and deciced, "I'll make 'em suffer." But then, I moved to Sacramento (50 miles away) and into an apartment, and it's just now that I finally got the Internet back up. GOD….So, I hope that like…that's a good enough excuse….*bows quietly and runs into a corner where she beats herself with a very large anime sized mallet*  Oh, btw. Sesshoumaru, once again, has reading glasses. Sorry, I can't resist. Nice little designer frames would look hot on him, don't you agree? Sessh-chan in a business suit…ehhh…beautiful. ^_^;; sorry, scaring y'all

Disclaimers: gomen, ne, I don't own IY, or Sesshoumaru

Note: goya plant is like a tart melon which grows on a vine. The leaves and big, and it can be used for ornamental purposes.  The fruit itself is used in many Japanese dishes.

Chapter 3

Sesshoumaru had found that when he had taken the books out of his bag they smelled of the incense.  It was not unpleasant, not in the least, for the smell was very satisfying in every possible way; it was, however, the images that it conjured up every time he turned a page that caused the scent to be disturbing. They were not terrible images, just ones that brought him regret and sadness. They were just there, and often times in the middle of his precious lunch hour, he would find his thoughts in other places. Particularly Amami O Shima, where he had purchased the incense.  It was amazing how strong the smell was, considering that he had not visited the island until two years ago, and even with the lapse of time, the smell was still as fragrant as ever.  

Sesshoumaru put down his pencil, and gazed out of the windows in the cafeteria.  It was mid spring, and the cherry blossom trees outside the window were in their peak viewing time.  All the patients had brought their homemade quilts, in garish colors. They had talked of the past, and how to make the best filling for rice balls. Poor people. So easily amused. Taking off his glasses, he closed his eyes and rubbed his temples for a moment.  The scent was overpowering him, slowly, yet steadily.

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Strangely, perhaps ironically, the day he had set out for Amami had been just like the day six years ago.  It was breathtakingly beautiful; as though no storms could ever have touched the islands gentle shores.  Of course, this was not true, but nonetheless being an outsider like himself he found it remarkable that in six years time had not changed the hazy little port.  Tourist season was on, and charter fishing and sunbathing were in full swing in the town of Kaze.  However, he had hardly noticed the crowds and screaming children.  It astonished him that he was almost excited to be on this island again, the only place where his childhood had been happy; if only for a few short weeks.  At a local shrine, which some haphazard person had directed him to he had purchased a few sticks of incense to honor his father's grave.  Sesshoumaru envied him, really, for being laid to rest in such a beautiful, and remote spot as this…practically detached from society.

His grave was a lone head stone atop a grassy hill, as Sesshoumaru had recalled his mother had chosen it for him.  It overlooked the ocean where he could see the sun rise every morning, and never set.  A place where he could see the coast Cyrus trees grow over the years, under the sparkle of full moonlit nights. Gingerly, he picked off leaves and twigs which years of neglect had caused, and bowing his head low he thought of nothing.  No words of remorse, no prayers to be at peace, nothing could come into his head.  Nothing. Perhaps for this, he felt guilty as he walked down the dusty trail to the main road.  It was not as if he hadn't loved his father, but he knew his father had been ready to die.  It had only been he who could not handle the loss so many years ago. It was only he, Sesshoumaru, who had been weak.

As he had walked along the road, not exactly knowing where he was heading, he found the footsteps and surroundings familiar—as if it was though he had been walking in one of his many dreams. It was true, for many years after the visit to the island he had dreamed of its white beaches and warm nights, wishing for them above the smoke and noise of Tokyo.  And now, finally, he had returned to a place he considered home. Home.  He scowled to himself, his lips turning down slightly; but this was not his home, no more than Tokyo was. Just a place where people lived.  No. There was no home for him and never would he allow there to be one.

A strong wind had sung up from the sea, blasting him with refreshing coolness. Looking towards the water, he was surprised to find the sun so low on the horizon, golden rays of sun burning the waters edges.  How long had he been walking exactly?  He would have to hurry, for his boat would leave in a matter of hours.  Quickening his pace, Sesshoumaru set up a small hill to a neighborhood that he had presumed forgotten to himself.  Unfortunately, his memory was as keen as ever, and he felt off his guard as he walked through the quiet streets.  Time had been kind to the seaside community—more particularly this quarter.  The gate to her house was still that strong shade of brown, and pushing it open he had found that recently it had been well oiled by some mysterious soul.  However, as soon as he had opened the gate, his unaccustomed eagerness fell into the usual feeling of disappointment.  It was obvious that the house had been abandon for some years.  Old leaves from the goya vine had clogged the drain, and scattered the about courtyard.  The protective wooden screens, only used in times of storm were firmly intact, as though to bare everyone from their interior.  The vegetable bed was over run with weeds, and dandelions.

So…they had moved…

Sighing to himself, Sesshoumaru closed the gate, and turned down the way he had come.  What had he expected?  To see the family which had momentarily welcomed him as though he was their own?  To the girl which he had promised to marry?  It was no matter—had he really expected her to remember? After all, she was only ten years old, and he twelve.  Every rational bone in his body had gone against the thought that she had remembered, and to his own surprise he had stubbornly refused to listen.  But, of course, his doubts once again, had proven correct.  His lips turned up, smirking ironically to himself as he touched the silver orb that had been with him since those six years ago, on the sandy beach covered with moonlight.

He fingered his ear—how long had he had the earring there? Since middle school, perhaps… His mother had finally allowed him to get his ears pierced when he had entered (with the highest grades in the school). And, as soon as he had his ear pierced, how every student body president would ridicule him for it—how he would get in trouble by the principle, and it amazed him that all were so obstinately against jewelry, particularly earrings on boys.  Were people so closed-minded now a days? Of course, the answer was yes.  Probably, he reasoned, only about one fourth of the world (at most) actually had brains—and the rest were used for factories. Someone had to help the capitalist community. He nearly laughed maliciously as he remembered one particular conversation the President of high school and he had partaken in.  He; a sophomore—and the President; a senior.  How that had been the turning point in high school for him…  From then on, strangely, the girls had adored him, and the men had looked up to him.  He had desired none of it, of course.  Was living his life in peace too much to ask? He was never at peace.

"Okuda."

He had turned around, slightly peeved that his sketch of clouds pouring over the Tokyo skyline would now be incomplete.  He had planned on taking it home to do a preliminary sketch on the canvas.

"Yes, Shakuji?" he questioned, slightly bored.

"About your earring—"

"Yes, what about it?" he asked angrily.  Did this have to happen every week?  Did this weakling have to pester him like the mosquito he was?

"They are not allowed at this school.  You are already bending rules with the length of hair—but I let that one go."  Shakuji had adjusted his glasses, as he waited for his response.  Sesshoumaru had turned to the window, watching the dark clouds of winter dispense in from the ocean.   Closing his eyes, he had stood there, leaning against the sill for some time. After about two minutes, Shakuji coughed, as though he was not aware of his own presence.

Sesshoumaru opened an eye, and peered at him.  A sliver of amber against a pale face, edges in dark lashes the color of spilt ink.

"What?" he grumbled.

"About the earring."

By now a crowd had formed.  Other mosquito's.

Sesshoumaru sighed, and ran his hands through his long hair.  He kept his eyes closed for a moment, and then opening them, he starred Shakuji right in the face, and said harshly, "Shakuji, we have never been friends, and you enjoy pointing me out on minor details which you ignore with your own classmates."

He had paused, glancing out the window. Ah! It was too late now; the clouds had moved…he would never finish his sketch.

"But, Shakuji, you surprise me…really, you do.  You are under the impression that I care.  But, let me clarify things…I don't. And I will never care what you say. It amuses me to think that you would be so foolish. To think that I would actually listen to you! So, please, go along your merry way.  You are not wanted here."

He had broken the gaze again, laughing inside at the poor fool.   He continued to lean against the sill, gazing out at the scene.  Shakuji had stood there for a few more minutes, but eventually, he left—with Sesshoumaru still looking out the window, not even noticing his absence.

How much life had changed since the time he had spent on the island, and perhaps the Higurashi's lack of presence seemed to tell him that his happiness was only temporary.  The wind had picked up, and he gazed down at the ocean, which was now a few feet below him from his hilltop trail.  He gazed down at it, rather surprised.  There.  Right there.  They had promised to marry her.  Continuing his walk to the dock, he had promised to himself that it would not be for a long time that he would visit the island.  This was the only place he found contentment—but now, the distinguishing characteristic had vanished, without a trace; like footprints being washed away in the sand.  One moment, as clear as sunshine, and the next, time and forces incomprehensible demolished them silently, without remorse.

```````````

He blinked, suddenly, feeling something press against his shoulder.  He knew exactly who it was, and he had almost wished she had decided not to disturb him.  But of course, the girl was ignorant about his feelings, perhaps to a fault.  Applying his mask with careful ease, he looked over his shoulder, putting on his fake smile, and saying, "Hello, Kikyou."

She looked down at him, smiling softly, her long hair mingling with his, and replied, "Hello."  Hoisting herself off him, much to his relief, she sat herself down, and explained,  "Sorry I am so late…they decided to give me double shifts."

"Don't worry about it." Sesshoumaru replied, shifting his eyes away from her, and back to the falling cherry blossoms.  How beautiful they were. How beautiful and strage it was…this beauty in death. In a strange way, he wanted to be old.  He wanted to have no worries, and people take care of him, or at least pay the bills.  He was tired, tired of it all.  But then, this was life, and his happiness was so long ago, and now soon to be forgotten.  Sesshoumaru sighed, and pretended to listen to his girlfriend, nodding, and occasionally making eye contact, while questioning, "Is that so?" "I see." "Of course."

He was doomed to this existence forever….

```````````````````````

AN: …YES! Its Sesshoumaru! …with Kikyou. God, I always have to throw her in there, don't I? I know, I hate the bitch too, but she just makes things more interesting. Come later on, for those of us you have mixed feelings about her—you'll hate her. Hah hah hah. Trust me…Poor Sessh-chan, having to be with her…yuck…Anyways, I was deciding on having chapter three about Kagome and IY meeting and stuff, but then, I was thought we needed some Sesshoumaru, and get him we shall. I should clear up something's though.

Now, remember, Sesshoumaru is 2 years older than Kagome. Hence forth, in present time, he went to Amami O Shima two years ago (when he got out of highschool)…and…yeah…maybe I did not need to clear up. Maa, anyways, hope you are enjoying this story. Next chapter—Kagome gets a job with Inu Yasha. What will Kouga have to say about it? And what kinds of novels does Miroku write anyways? 


	4. Chapter 4: the restaurant

AN: heh heh heh. Well, this chapter: Kagome gets a job, and meets Inu Yasha, Shippou, and our most favorite of all loved villains {minus Sesshoumaru, even though I don't consider him one] Naraku! Even though the guy is evil, he is just so hot---I just had to add him. Gomen to any Naraku fans! Also, know, this is my first time writing Kouga and Naraku, so sorry for any beginners OOC ness here. Naraku is such a loveable slime ball. ^_^

Disclaimers: I own Ippunkan, the apartment, and I wish I owned the people who lived in it (like Miroku and Kouga), I also wished I owned Sesshoumaru. DAMN TAKAHASHI! DAMN HER!

Note: the restaurant, at the moment, has no name. 

Chapter 4

Kagome placed down the empty coffee cup down onto the table as she gathered her black leather purse, and Tokyo newspaper, which were now scattered haphazardly at a pile near her feet.  The sun was now peaking over the skyline of Tokyo, washing the reflective windows of the tall buildings in the fresh almost daffodil color of dawn.  Although early in the day, the small streets surrounding Ippunkan were filled with activity.  Venders of all sorts of products placed baskets full of everything from fruits to indoor slippers into boxes attractively displayed.

Getting up she made her way towards the subway where she was planning on taking the train to Shinjuku in hopes of finding a job. Fast.  Shinjuku was known for its bustling activity, both night and day, and so there must be a job somewhere in its highlighted streets.  Although new to Tokyo, Kagome and Sango had decided to go their separate ways when it came to findings jobs.  Getting a decent job was hard enough as it was, and having an added obstruction (such as having to find a place with two openings) would only cause more problems to mount.  Sango had set off in the direction of Asakasa, hoping to get a job at the year round vendors at the base of the great temple.  Both Kagome and Sango had high hopes.  Walking down the steps into the subway she was rather amazed that the crowds had not yet formed, and only the dedicated businessmen were riding it.  She sat in silence, blankly looking out the window, not allowing her thoughts to stray.  

````````

The sun was fast sinking beyond the large skyscrapers of Tokyo, and yet a day of searching the city had found her still jobless.  It wasn't that Kagome was unqualified, but they wanted someone older (or at least someone not so pretty).  Running her hands through her long hair, she wondered whether Sango had managed to receive a job.  Kagome had to admit that Sango had a more serious and mature attitude than herself, and so, perhaps, her luck might have been better.  Climbing slowly out of the subway entrance she found herself about ten blocks away from Ippunkan in an area she was slightly familiar with.  The shadows around her were caused by buildings had already fallen into darkness, but the tips of the structures were still dipped in the honey colored light that reflected off the glazed tiles.  The shopkeepers were now carrying their stands inside, and counting up the profits they had earned.  However, Kagome Higurashi heard none.  Perhaps she was in such a daze and stupor that she hardly noticed the 'HELP WANTED' sign was she quietly walked by.  However, loud voices from behind her chanced that she glance behind her to study what the commotion was.  Had the garish neon yellow of the sign not caught her eyes she would have never found herself employed.  But her eyes did wander, and scraping up every last ounce of hope that she had reserved for the day, she walked inside the brightly lit European style restaurant.  It seemed that rush hour had not yet began, and only a few costumers (mostly rich women, or foreigners) were seated around enjoying their custom of 'afternoon tea' and the like.  

Kagome walked up, finding her fourth wind for the day, to the stately looking lady regarding a page full of figures and numbers.  She looked up, almost with casual disinterest, but with one eyebrow raised as she studied Kagome's attire, she questioned, coolly, calmly, and collectively, "Yes? May I help you?"

"Yes. My name is Higurashi Kagome, I would like to apply for the job you have posted." She said, making sure not to stutter.

The women appraised her for a moment, and then said crisply, "Of course.  Go through the door behind me, and turn to your left.  When inside you will find the owner, his name is Honda Naraku."

Kagome bowed, and quickly did as she was told.  In any case, the women seemed not very fond of her and to be out of her presence would benefit both of the parties.  Cautiously, she walked through the doors, and to her right she saw a clean, mahogany entry with the words, "Honda" engraved in fluid traditional wonder.  Inhaling deeply, she opened the door and peered inside.  In the corner of her eye she saw movement, almost a blur of stormy gray.

Stepping within, she looked towards the corner, and found herself looking into a beautiful, but extremely angry face of a man with wavy, luxuriant hair, (very well groomed, she had to admit) cascading over his shoulders.  This was not what she had expected at all.  He looked like a model, only perhaps a very angry and pissed off one.  She tried to smile, and talk in a clear tone, but her voice had failed her.  His eyes were so piercing, as though he was plotting out the best way to impale her with a very, very sharp sword.  This, she would find out later, was very far from the truth when it came to Honda Naraku.

"Yes?" he questioned angrily, "What do you want?"

"Are you Honda Naraku?" Kagome asked quietly.

"Yes. What of it?" His voice seemed to be taunting her.  He seemed to be saying, 'Look, look little girl! Come and see what I have achieved, and I not even twenty five!'

"I am here to apply for a job—the one you had posted outside." Kagome explained.

"Sit." He commanded, pointing to a chair.

Although slightly warily, and her nerves shot; she did so.

"Well, where is your resume?" he questioned hastily.

Swiftly she reached into her bag and produced it. She was beginning to have a sinking feeling in her stomach, which by now had become very usual for her.

A few moments passed by, and then Honda looked at her atop from his elevated desk (probably specially designed for the recipients of his words to feel even more daunted by his rank), his eyes were angry, but controlled.  The gray in his suit even seemed like dark thunderclouds whirling about him at his command.

"Fine. I don't hire, that is the manager's job. However circumstances have come up. I take no pride in this—so please, get out of my sight as soon as possible. Himajima at the front counter will find you a uniform. You start now."

Although Kagome had hoped to find a job all day, she was beginning to regret ever coming into the shop.  For one thing, she didn't know if she could handle working for seven hours after the stress of the day, and the boss seemed to be one from hell. Literally.  She only hoped the workers felt the same way she did.  Bowing extremely low she exited the room, and upon doing so found realized she had broken out into a sweat.  

Trembling slightly she walked down the hall to the main room where she asked the lady, which she had now supposed to be Himajima, about uniforms.  She stiffly directed her to the supply room, where after a few tries Kagome found one that fit her properly.  The lady told her that she would start in a half an hour as helper (what that meant exactly was; she washed dishes, chopped vegetables, stirred soups—all the jobs at the lowest rank).  If she did 'well' (as Himajima so frankly put it) in time she would be a waitress.  But, of course, that was a long way away.

Himajima seemed to leave Kagome alone as soon as earthly possible, only pointing her vaguely in the direction of the kitchen.

_Maa, what have I gotten myself in to?!_

The halls were white with sanitary splendor, and Kagome found herself being swallowed up bit by bit.  If she made a run for it, no one would know.  Looking down at her feet, she jumped back in surprise (hitting the back of her head against the wall) as she gasped, "Eh?!"

A small boy was looking up at her curiously, as though he had never seen a girl before.  He blinked, not even phased by her sudden movements.  
"Your new." He said simply.  His face was not strange, but perhaps different.  He had wide, sincere eyes that now looked up at her in curiosity, and his face small and compact seemed to be one of wisdom.  The boy waited patiently for her to respond.

Kagome took a few breaths, and told herself that she really had to learn how to relax more.  

"Yes, I am new." She stated.

One of his hands was behind his back, and drawing it out a large celery plant was revealed. "Want some celery?" he questioned, "Its really good.  They only order the best vegetables here."  Kagome looked down at the celery. Really, it did look quite tempting.  The color was just perfect, along with the flesh looking extremely juicy.  Her stomach moaned in protest, and so Kagome complied, taking the leafy stalk.  Munching into it, she questioned, "Who are you?"

"I'm the managers son.  My name is Shippou." He said as he too chewed, gazing up at her.

"Oh, I see.  Is that your first name, or last?" Indeed, it really did not sound like a last name.  I mean, who would have a last name of Shippou?

"Its my first." He said plainly, not offering his later.

Kagome smiled softly as this small kid. Maa, he was so cute. Thanking him for the celery she was just about to go off in search of the kitchen, (and the head cook) when suddenly an angry holler stopped her, and turning around she saw something white and blurry, which ended directly in front of Shippou. 

"OI!!!" the man yelled angrily.

Kagome hurriedly stepped forward.  He must be some psycho from the subway—she had heard of these kinds.  Following innocent little kids home, pretending to be their friends, and then POUNCE! Just like that.

"Excuse me!" Kagome said firmly as she nudged the man on the shoulder.  

He turned towards her, his eyes blazing angrily.  Kagome stepped back suddenly, finding her legs limp.  His eyes were that of Sesshoumaru's so long ago.  Even his hair was the very same color…the same translucent silver.  She flushed unexpectedly.  Kagome found herself between two emotions, that of fear and happiness. Fear because since his father's death Sesshoumaru had obviously gone of the deep end.  Happiness…well, for that she had finally met him again. To meet him and marry him had secretly been her lifes dream.  It was what she had hoped all those years growing up. Perhaps they were destined after all.  The man, however, seemed not to recognize her at all, and continued to glare, finally barking after a moment, "Yes?!"

"What are you doing?!" Kagome began frantically.  From the looks of it the man had the kid in a death grip.

"Oi! Who are YOU to be talking to me like this, eh?!" he yelled angrily. "The brat—"

"I'm not a brat!" Shippou insisted feebly.

"SHUT UP. The brat stole the last bunch of celery.  TELL ME now, how am I supposed to make the SOUP!?"  His eyes continued to flare with sparks.  Snatching the remaining bits of celery from Shippou he stomped off angrily in the direction that he had come from, grumbling something about crappy bosses and bratty kids.  Shippou lay on the ground, watching him go with a look of hatred.

"Who was that…?" Kagome whispered silently, still recovering from the ardent conversation.

"That was Inu Yasha the ass. He is head cook here." Shippou grumbled rubbing his head.

"…eh…." Kagome said, "So, I am going to be working…with him…?"

`````````

"KEH!?" Inu Yasha yelled angrily, "HER!?"

"Yes, that is precisely what I am saying.  Do you wish to take the matter up with Honda san?" Miss Himajima questioned coolly.  A dark silence flooded the room, as Inu Yasha's face contorted with agony.  His eyes swiveled to Kagome's figure behind Himajima, his eyes narrowed as though he was trying to cause her to suddenly burst into flames.

"If people complain about the food, understand, this is your fault. The bitch probably can't even chop a carrot right!" he yelled as he took his knife and began to violently chop an eggplant.

"That will be enough Terashiima." She sighed, taking off her glasses and polishing them.

"Feh…" he grumbled as he dipped them into batter with large chopsticks.

"Higurashi, I trust you to do your best.  Even though…" her voice faded as her eyes rested on Inu Yasha.  Turning on the heal of her shoe, she left Kagome as Inu Yasha was placing the soon to be tempura into boiling oil.

"What are you waiting for, idiot?" he sneered not even glancing at her, "Go and chop those onions. You know how to chop, don't you?"

Her eyes narrowed.

"Yes. I know how to chop." She answered in a very strained voice.

"Well then, get to it!" he commanded as he threw down a bit of oil into a wok and began to add a variety of vegetables.  The vegetables simmered and steamed in the oil, which wrapped around their bodies, bubbling with fire.  A loud hiss came when a bit of sake was poured into the wok, the alcohol disappearing on contact.  The sounds of sizzling oil and the quick, rapid movements of the blade slicing through the onion were the only sounds in the kitchen.  After ten minutes of chopping (Kagome having now chopped about twenty of onions) she ventured to ask a question, of course, very hesitantly.  This guy could easily bite her head off.

"Anou…Terashiima san?" she began slowly.

"What!" he barked, as he was stirring a white whine sauce in a pan.

"Where are all the other cooks?" She studied him.  The scowl seemed to be permanently engraved on his face.  Did he not take joy in anything?

"Oh, THOSE idiots! They show up late, as usual!" he explained harshly as he garnished the filet mignon with the sauce, and decoratively arraigned a few springs of parsley over the garlic-mashed potatoes.  Putting it down on the counter, he pressed a button and a waitress took the food, and scurried out through the double doors into the main restaurants.

"Well, doesn't work start at seven for them?" she inquired.  His back was now faced towards her, and she could no longer see what he was doing. Perhaps that was an advantage.  Inu Yasha Terashiima was not a person one wished to see with knifes in his hand.

"Those morons don't even care.  So, why should I wait for them!?" he remarked flippantly as he set a large basket of potatoes before Kagome.  He looked at her, a mixture of smugness and seriousness blending with his usual scowl. "Peal." He stated simply.  He handed her a peeler from his pocket—but Kagome had time to detect his well polished and managed fingernails.

_Odd…_she mused.

Still, not giving up, she insisted, "Just because they show up when they are supposed to doesn't mean then don't care."

"Really?  And how would you know this, novice?" he snarled angrily as he turned towards her, garlic grinder in his hands. "This is already your first day—and you think you're so HIGH and MIGHTY!"

"Well, I may be new but-!" Kagome began in a rage. She would have continued very happily yelling at him.  However she was cut off as the back door opened and a familiar voice (one she could not quite remember) called out to her in excitement.

"Higurashi!" it said.

Glancing towards the sound, she dropped the peeler out of surprise, "Eh--!  Nariya san!" Of all things, why was Nariya Kouga walking in to the back of a European style restaurant? Then, the thought gripped her.

"You don't work here, do you?" she asked slowly, still recovering from the initial shock.

"Actually, no. Just looking for a friend of mine, Uemura. Met him? Eh, what's this?"  Bending down, he picked up the potato peeler that Kagome had formerly been carrying.  Putting it back into her hand smiling perhaps too sweetly, he turned towards Inu Yasha (who was still glaring at Kagome, but his expression had slightly weakened with the shock that the two knew each other).  Kouga looked at him for a moment, summing him up, detecting the small twitch in the eye as the man looked at Kagome, along with the colander tightly squeezed in his hand.  Obviously, there had been an argument. He questioned harshly, "What's going on here? Why are you picking on girls, bastard?"

That did it.  It was always a mistake to call Inu yasha a bastard. Ever.

"What did you call me?" he began, slowly, softly, his eyes raging with the fire that had flared up, "Eh?"  His body began to vibrate suddenly, as if a sudden burst of energy was coursing through his veins.

"You heard me. Don't you have sense enough not to pick on girls? You coward." Kouga stated simply.

"Why you--!" Inu Yasha roared, rushing towards Kouga as he prepared to deliver a punch (which if it had hit him it would have caused a bruise for two or three weeks at least).

"OI! Terashiima!" a cool, calm voice murmured.

The two stopped, their eyes towards the kitchen door, where Himajima and Honda were standing gazing at them angrily.

"What is the meaning of this?" Himajima questioned angrily, her voice vibrating with emotion.

"Please, Himajima san—its nothing really!" Kagome began quickly, stepping forward. "He" Kagome explained, motioning to Kouga, "Just came in to look for someone."

"You?"  Honda questioned emotionless, "It's your first day, and this is what you bring with you?"

"I…really….I'm sorry." Kagome whispered, bowing her head.

Naraku, turning his attention towards Kouga and hissed, "Why are you in my restaurant, vagrant? Go out on the street where people will actually take pity on you."

Honda Naraku regarded Kagome warily, and then turning to Himajima on his right, he said, "Really. Himajima, if you continue to allow such low class people to work for my restaurant, and allowed inside, I will be forced to fire you. Make sure it does not happen again. "

"Of course…" she replied softly, her eyes hard behind the reflective rims of her glasses.  Her voice was solid, and her hands clasped around her clipboard, revealing her veins in which the blue blood pumped through.  Her skin was waxy and pale in the florescent light of the kitchen.

Honda formed a sinful grin, his eyes turning thin and malicious, an eyebrow rose questioningly as he studied Kagome from head to toe. Kouga and Inu Yasha noticeably stiffened. "And from now on, don't hire idiots like these three." His eyes roamed her for a moment, as though summing her up, then giving her one appreciative last glance at her face, he put his hands into his tailored suit and swiftly walked out of the kitchen, a small laugh emanating from his throat.  Himajima soon followed him, yelling over her shoulder, "Your on thin ice. Both of you!"

Kagome glanced about the room at a stunned Inu Yasha and Kouga were now gazing at the door in a daze.  Kouga's face was a bit more serious and angry looking though.  Suddenly, he coughed a bit, and turned to Kagome questioning sarcastically, "He's your boss?"

"Unfortuently so…" she sighed running her hands through her hair.

"To have to work with him-" he said motioning to Inu Yasha, "And for that devil…?  I pity Uermura."  Not even noticing Inu Yasha who had once again raged with anger and was controlling it by trying to crumple the colander into the trash, he continued grinning, "How about I take you out to dinner?"

"Now?" Kagome flushed. The guy was certainly straightforward.

"No. Tomorrow. Sango's gunna be busy, why not? I'll 'welcome' you to Ippunkan."  He stated, his face lighting up.

"I wouldn't go anywhere with this gangster." Inu Yasha grumbled as he went back to the wine sauce.

"This turd is an idiot." Kouga fumed.

"What do you mean, Sango's busy? Did something happen?" Kagome inquired worriedly. 

"No. She just can't make it." He said simply, his face blank. "Miroku asked her to come over to his apartment. Probably gunna ask her to bear his child.  Supposedly, he says he has a 'civilized' agenda. Whatever that means."

Inu Yasha snorted.

"Shut up!" Kouga barked crossing his arms.

"Sango accepted?" she sputtered.

"I know. She's crazy! So, how about it? I know a great place." He prided himself in.

"Probably some crappy ramen shop, or McDonald's." Inu Yasha snickered.

"Well….I guess so." Kagome said hesitantly.

"Than it's a date!" Kouga grinned happily.

"My my, girls standards are lower and lower these days." Inu Yasha sighed as he washed the celery he had got from Shippou.  The scent of the teriyaki sauce was beginning to spread about the room.

"Yeah. I know. Girls must be REALLY desperate to even sit by you on the subway!" Kouga laughed.

"Now, I think you better be going." Kagome whispered and she led him to the door.  She didn't want another fight to break out.

"I'll come and pick you up at your apartment at eight." Kouga smirked as he made eye contact with a most furious Inu Yasha.

Kagome just nodded and pushed him out the door.  Turning back towards her new co-worker, she said simply, "It's not a date."

Inu Yasha scowled and said nothing as he turned back to the stove.

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AN: Well, sorry chapter four took so long to get out. As I said, life has been hectic. Shall I go into more details? Well…

Sunday: Still working on moving in, cleaning the house, ect. I did get a bit of writing done here.

Monday: had to drive 50 miles with my dad to do errands in old town, pick up hose, get some pet supplies, cat leash, ect

Monday night: Had to go to Kodo workshop, but I had a lot of fun! So, nothing bad with that

Tuesday: woke up at 5, and spent all day at the hospital where my dad was getting a neck operation

Tuesday night: was too tired to consider writing

Anyways….yes, yes indeed. I hope Kouga is coming along okay.  Next chapter *evil laugh* Kouga and Kagome go on a 'not a date' to a very nice European style restraunt.  Who works there? And who decided to have dinner with his date there? *blinks* I wonder, ne? Plot thickens with character decisions! ^_______^ god, this sounds like a soap.  Heh heh heh. Like Naraku? He sort of lusts after Kagome, which even though nasty, is sort of cute, because I like Naraku! ^-^ yay!! Anyways, please e-mail me at furinkoto_neko@yahoo.com, or ame_desu_yo@sesshoumaru.com, and feel free to IM me! Oh, will someone, ANYONE, just read chapter 1 to castle in the sky? All I ask is one review!


	5. Chapter 5: the reservation

AN: Just to clear up a few things now and then. First off, remember Sesshoumaru and Inu-chan are related by blood on their fathers side. His father had an affair, but it cut it off to save his family from disgrace. Hence forth, IY and Sessh-chan are half brothers (right, I think.) Now, really, cause Inu-chan's dad was never publically announced or anything like that, he technically is a 'bastard'. Hence forth, that's why he got really cheesed at Kouga. ^_^ yes…anyways…this chapter!

Disclaimers: I don't own Inu Yasha even though I would like to. I could cos-play as him, but that would be disgracing the beautiful family looks. I would prefer not to do that, ne?

Note: I have decided to name the restaurant, "Il Pleut dans mon Coeur." [rather long, I know] it will be abbreviated as 'PleuCoeur'. What does it mean? It means, if I got the spelling right, 'It rains in my heart.' Now…do you think Japanese people would really know French? Of course not! So, they probably all thing it means something like, "Moonlight Lounge" or something. I will try my best to make the food sound good. Oishii sou!

Forgotten Wish

Chapter Five

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"This is crazy." Sango sighed as she tossed a sweater over her shoulder.  It flew across the room, landing on the overhead light where it dangled for some time until it fell onto a heap on the kitchen floor.

"I know, I know." Kagome admitted as she ran a comb through her hair in the bathroom, "This is not a date."

"Neither is the one I am going on." Sango confirmed as well as she found a tube of lipstick.

The two were silent for a moment, each caught up in their own dilemmas.  However, Kagome having finished styling her hair chirped, "Sango?"

"Yeah?" the response came, rather muffled for Sango was now slipping into a dress.

"Never mind." Kagome sighed as she walked into the room.

"What I don't get." Sango began pointing a brush at Kagome, "What I don't get is why Miroku just invited me, by myself! I mean, why not you? Don't you think that's sort of rude?"

Kagome grinned at her flustered friend, as she giggled, "From what I hear from Kouga, he is 'intrigued'. But, fear not! His intentions are 'civilized'."

"…That certainly puts all my fears at rest!" She grumbled as she grabbed her purse.

"You didn't have to get dressed up you know.  He just invited you over to his apartment." Kagome said plainly.

"No. He said that I should dress up a little bit…supposedly because he spends all of his time in his apartment he believes he had mastered the art of Italian cooking." Sango burst out laughing as did Kagome.  When the two had recovered, Kagome sighed with envy, "Sounds more interesting than my date."

"I thought you said it wasn't a date, eh??" Sango smirked.

"I-It's not!!" Kagome insisted feebly turning rather flushed.

"Yes. Yes. Of course not! What could I have been thinking?"  Sango pointed out innocently.  Kagome opened her mouth to say something when the doorbell rang.

"That must be your Mr. Non-date." Sango smiled sweetly from the bathroom.

"…" was all Kagome could think of as she walked to the door.

"Hello, Higurashi." Kouga said pleasantly.

"Hello…" Kagome replied rather nervously as she closed the door. If she had to say one thing: the boy cleaned up nicely. Although rough around the edges, he had certainly gone to extremes tonight even wearing semi-formal clothes. He was now grinning at her as he handed her a bouquet of gardenias.  They smelled sweet and intoxicating, but intriguing none the less. (Kagome- who had yet take the tour through the apartment -had yet to realize there was an extremely large gardenia bush on the back patio)

"Shall we go?" he inquired smoothly.  He flashed her a charming grin as he held out his arm.

A strange feeling washed over Kagome, and slowly she smiled as she answered, "Okay."

Outside a few moths gathered around a streetlight, the glow comforting in the dusk. The sky was washed in a lavender color which reminded Kagome of the lilac bushes which grew by her old house. How the bees would flock to them…

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"A three month anniversary is something I figured we ought to have celebrated. Don't you think?" Kikyou questioned as she squeezed Sesshoumaru's arm close to her breast. Was she suggesting of things yet to come? But…he had no interest in a girl like her. A girl that so eagerly gave up her body... One day this would backfire on her.  This, he knew.

"Yes. I agree." He answered smoothly.

Ah, how easy it had become to carry on a conversation with her.  All she talked of was herself…and if one just paid a miniscule amount of attention to her she would take up the two hours of the meal entirely.  Smiling, Sesshoumaru opened the door to the restaurant now illuminated like a lantern at an Obon Odori festival. 

"Admirable choice, Kikyou." 

It was one of those rare occasions he was actually telling the truth. As far as restaurants go, this one seemed to be on the pinnacle.  The ambience was bright and airy, yet personal: the service seemed excellent; the waitresses were by your side when you needed them, and safely tucked away when you were engaged in interesting conversation. (Which he would be thoroughly deprived of tonight to be sure).

"Thank you, Sesshoumaru. I thought you might like it." Kikyou smiled as she looked down at her handbag.

He was now gazing off to his right, other thoughts wandering through his mind.  Thoughts that for once he could be rid of.  They were always there, of course. Silently whispering to him…the ocean breezes singing to him voice calling to him.  How clear and intact they had remained over the years, like a pearl hiding deep inside an oyster.  He closed his eyes and tried to remember her face…but surprisingly it had vanished during the long time period, and only her friendly cheerful voice remained.  At times, he could almost see her eyes and lips, and then he would remember her hair.  However, never once had he pieced the face together at the same time. How irksome.

But, Sesshoumaru reasoned, he could not live in the past all his life.  The past was over, and only a memory.  Kagome, wherever she was would continue living her life, just as he was doing.  No, he, Sesshoumaru had his own plans and purposes in his existence.

Disturbed out of his reverie, he found that once again Kikyou had intertwined her arm with his and was now talking about something or other.  It seemed to be the table or to that affect. He tried to remember how the 'supposed' relationship with Kikyou had started—for even now, those three months ago seemed blurry and surreal.  Everyone had said what a lovely couple they had made—the most handsome man in the hospital, and the most beautiful girl.  How perfect. How fitting.  He glanced down at Kikyou, and his expression turned sour—if anything, the girl was determined.  

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"…Nariya, you amaze me. Really." Kagome sighed to herself.

"What? It's a beautiful restaurant, even you have to admit that!" he insisted as he looked up from his menu.

"But I work here! Think how this will look!" Kagome tried to explain frantically.  Already a few of the waitresses had waved their greeting to her, and no doubt Inu Yasha would soon hear Kouga's arrival. Tomorrow, she realized, she would get an earful from that boy: how he would talk of the idiotic-ness of Kouga,; and how she was an idiot to go anywhere with him.  Perhaps, in some way, Kagome reasoned he was right. After all, who would take a girl to the place she works at?

"Yes…it is a nice place…" Kagome admitted glancing around. Really, how many places in Tokyo could there be which actually had cut crystal vases with fresh roses in them everyday?

"See? Despite what that dog turd thinks, I am a nice guy!" Kouga grinned as he gulped down some water.

Kagome smiled.  In a way he was a man, and yet so much a boy at the same time.  She found that it was also true of Inu Yasha; how angry and serious he could get around some and then so stupid and childish around others; particularly Shippou and Kouga. When the other cooks had come in later during the night, he had suddenly turned amiable; it was only when the waitresses or she talked to him that he would turn sour.  Almost as if he hated women of all sorts.  Perhaps there was a reason these two men were this way?

"Higurashi san?" Kouga questioned suddenly looking up. Kagome blinked, was he actually blushing?

"Yes?" Somehow…

"Do you mind if I call you Kagome instead?" his voice was nervous yet firm.  He had nearly spilled the glass of water in the process.

"Eh? No, that's no problem.  So, I can call you Kouga then?" Kagome grinned.  The waitress was coming closer, and soon she would be upon them.

"Sure! Well, Kagome, welcome to Tokyo and Ippunkan." He smiled as he lifted his glass of water.  His cheeks were still somewhat aflame, but his eyes shimmered merrily.

"Thank you."  The glasses clinked under the warm light, their contents glittering and sparkling like diamonds.

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"Inu Yasha, guess who's here?!" Uemura sang as he mixed up some cake batter.

"The prime minister?" Inu Yasha ventured grinning.

"No." Uemura sighed sadly.

"Now that would have been interesting." Inu Yasha laughed as he poured some soon to be quiche into a pan.

"Well, this is even more interesting!" Uemura insisted as he pointed the batter-filled spoon at the silver haired boy. "No, it's Kagome, and my friend Kouga!"

"K-Kouga?!" Inu Yasha snorted, his eyes raging.  He still had to pay that boy a lesson.

"Yeah! He told me he was taking her on a date!  She's very nice and smart, it's amazing she actually went out with him!" Uemura continued amazed as he talked to a few fellow cooks who had been introduced to Kagome the day before. (All were quite fond of her, to tell the truth)

"Kouga…" Inu Yasha grumbled as he shoved the quiche into the oven.

Uemura glanced at him. "Inu…Yasha…? You okay…?"

"Fine." Inu Yasha sighed as he leaned against the tile countertop.  Suddenly, he felt very tired.

He couldn't do anything about the guy now; Naraku would fire him for sure…!  Well, there was only one way to get his revenge.

"Oi! Uemura! When you get his order give it to me. I want their meal to the meal to be nice for them. Especially Kouga…"

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Kagome looked down at the linen tablecloth, admiring its thick yet soft texture.  Glancing up at Kouga she found him gazing at her from across the table.  She flushed, and allowed a smile to slowly creep over her face, "Am I interesting to look at?"

Kouga blinked, as though recovering from a trance, "Uh…yes, actually."

The two were quiet for a moment, but then Kagome began to talk gently, trying to get a conversation started. 

"Ne, Kouga? What do you do?"

He blinked again, and his eyebrows furrowed together, "What do you mean?"

"For a living." Kagome explained sipping some of the lemon water.

"Oh!" he exclaimed, "Well, actually, I am in the process of becoming a doctor.   I still have two more years of college left, and then I go into Med. School."

Kagome starred at him, startled by what he said.  Never had she imagined hearing such words from Kouga, of all people.  Never had she imagined him to be a doctor, or want to be.  However, perhaps it was just an initial judgment that was not true.  After all, she could see a softer side to him that most didn't notice.  It was like the dark side of the moon, there always, but never quite visible to the general public.

"A doctor? Really? That's wonderful." Kagome beamed.

"You think so?" Kouga flushed scratching his head, "Most people when they hear that asked if I got hit on the head. Or else, they say that 'no way in hell would they want to be my patient.'"

His tone had now turned serious, and his eyes no longer reflecting the lamp light.  The cruel words of others had indeed caused scars that would not fade.

Kagome looked at him for a moment, concerned.  Trying to brighten the sudden feeling of sadness, she asked curiously, "What inspired you to be a doctor?"

Kouga looked shocked, his eyes wide, and then the solemn tone came into his voice again as he answered, "My sisters smile."

She remained silent.  If he wanted to tell her the story, she would not press him.  From somewhere in the recesses of the restaurant the famous French song "Ma vie en rose" began to play, its tune echoing and bouncing off the gleaming plaster walls.  She would not press him though, for something's were better left unsaid.

"My sister, had a disease for most of her life.  Despite this fact she was always cheerful, wanting to enjoy everything life had to offer her.  However, when I was twelve, and she was eleven, she died.  She died smiling."  He stopped and gazed out at the darkened streets.  His face was unrecognizable. His eyes murky. Kouga continued, "I want to help other people so they don't have to go through what I did. I want to see their daughters and sons smile when they leave the hospital. Not enter it."

Kagome nodded teary, surprised by her own emotion.  She too could relate.  How much she had wished that she could have saved Sesshoumaru's father, how much she would have wished that those last days together with him had not been so sad.  Kagome had wanted to see him smile so much.  She had wanted Sesshoumaru to be happy…

"I understand." Was all she could utter.  

His face lit up suddenly, as a grin spread across his face as he responded, however still in utmost seriousness, "I know. That's why you're my girl."

Before Kagome had to time to respond, or even mentally comprehend what he had just said, the waitress appeared with their entrees. (Kouga had ordered filet mingon [in a white whine and mushroom sauce] with spiced mashed potatoes, and steamed Asparagus; while Kagome had ordered the boiled salmon marinated with Cajun spices, and risotto rice with saffron, and steamed carrots dressed in butter).  Kouga looked down at his food, smiling happily, "Not only is the food I bet really good, but they give you a lot. I hate it when these fancy restaurants don't give you your money's worth."

Kagome, who was still trying to interrupt him about the 'him being his girl', stopped suddenly when she saw Kouga's expression as soon as he had tasted the mashed potatoes. (a rather big bite at that)

"WATER!!" Kouga yelled at the top of his lungs.

Inu Yasha, from the kitchen, hearing the yell began to laugh aloud.  Uemura and the others looked at him peculiarity, until finally Uemura demanded, "What's so funny? What did you do to Kouga's food?"

Inu Yasha smirked, as he lifted up a tiny pepper in the palm of his hand. "Hey boys, ever heard of the habanero?"

A gasp went through the kitchen.

(authors note: okay, so the habanero is the hottest pepper in the world. I just stuck a fork into one, and pulled it out, just to taste the juices, you know? My mouth, tongue, and teeth burned for about a half an hour.  Think how bad it would be if someone took a whole bite out of it! *laughs madly* I sort of pity Kouga though)

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"I'm sorry things didn't work out as planned…" Kouga sighed as he waited for the check.  Kagome shook her head sadly, "Don't even worry about it, Kouga-kun…I bet I know what happened."  Kagome didn't even have to wonder who had put the world's hottest pepper into the mashed potatoes. It was obvious.  Although it was rather sad, in a way it was funny; though she could never tell Kouga.  At least the potatoes had distracted him long enough until he forgot about his claim on her.  That rather bothered her, she admitted.  She did not like this possessive feeling that Kouga was emanating—as though he owned her.  However, Kagome reasoned, Kouga seemed like a nice guy and she would just have to look past his idiosyncrasies.  

For some time now, without being aware of it, she had been gazing across the room—and it was only now that she fully realized it.  The man looked like Inu Yasha that she had almost mistaken him.  He had the same long silver hair (although the man's was neatly tied together in a leather string on his back), but he had the same eyes (although designer frames now resided over them) and the same features to some extent.  Unlike Inu Yasha who still carried some boyish features with him; this was a true man that she was now gazing at.  Although somewhat feminine, she found it becoming rather hard to breathe, as though a rock or chunk of bread was caught in her throat.  The way he moved, his expressions, the way he held his body…they reminded her so much of him.  Memories of her childhood flashed in front of her eyes like an old real of film.  She silently whispered to herself_, could it be him?  Could it be Sesshoumaru?_

"Kagome? Kagome?"  

He had been calling out her name for some time, and so irritably she tore her eyes away from the man.  It couldn't be possible, she reasoned, that in this wide and large metropolis of Tokyo she would run across him.  It could not be possible.  But…she questioned…what if it was…?

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Kikyou had left; thank the Gods, for a moment to the ladies room.  He breathed a sigh of relief; her presence was like humidity.  It bore down on your soul making it hard to breathe.  Taking a few small sips of the white wine (which he was not fond of, but Kikyou believed the opposite) he looked around the room for a moment.  Perhaps Sesshoumaru would find some couple or person that he could watch for the rest of the meal.  It was always amusing to observe people—the way they acted when they thought no one was looking.  The small things they would do or not do. For most of the meal he had been watching a very old and odd couple.  They were certainly fascinating to watch, the way they interacted with each other.  Which was hardly at all.  They spoke not more than five sentences during the meal, but instead had slowly been chewing his or hers own course.  Their jaws had moved up and down, slowly, and calculated; almost as if they were counting the time in their head.  He had once heard somewhere that one must chew each bite of food six times—to get the most nutritional value, and to help the digestive system. He furrowed his eyebrows as he tried to remember the source.  No, not a book, and not on a news program…  He could clearly see the face of the person; it was a foreigner, an American of some sort.  Ah, now he had it.  It was from the movie 'Empire of the Sun', which he had seen in high school for a class on World War II.  It was amazing how few people had seen the movie. The movie was well done, particularly the way they had portrayed the characters, and life in the war camps.  He never cried at movies.  He never cried at all. Not since his fathers death.  But nonetheless, Sesshoummaru the movie had touched him in a way. No, he had not got emotional (not in the least) he had just found it interesting the viewpoints and such.  Most of the movies produced now a days were rubbish—produced for the mass media with simple jokes, and idiotic lines and plots.  It seemed that the movie companies had made a recipe for each genre and it was followed in every film.  And yet, people raved about the originality of it or the amazing cinematography. Of course, these were all the idiots in society working at McDonalds and such.  No, he had decided to shun most movies and the like—for what was the point of wasting ones time?  The only movie that he, Sesshoumaru, owned was Akira Kurosawa's "The Seven Samurai".  That was perfection at it's finest.  And yet, once again, it amazed him that people had never seen the thing.  A classic among classics!  Yet people were content with the lousy American films that flocked onto Japanese shores.

Coming out of his reverie, he resolved himself to finding a new spectacle in which to entertain his bored soul.  He thought of how much he could accomplish if idiotic and clueless Kikyou hadn't dragged him away for this 'wonderful' idea of hers. Glancing around he found himself gazing at an attractive girl directly across the room from him.  Her looks were effortless on the eye; yet intriguing.  Particularly the fine eyes; he had never seen a more blue color before.  She had a gentle ease around her, and a soft smile, which she was now bestowing to the man across from her.  He could not see the face, but from what he could tell the man was built, somewhat.  He gazed at her, carefully arranging a disinterested stare, and studied her features.  She seemed to be apologizing to him or something; but a look of humor tugged at her slightly upturned lips.  He blinked suddenly.  Where had he seen such expressions before?  They were familiar, as though he had seen them all his life subliminally.  He continued to study her form: rather petite, and yet not weak and feeble.  Her hair was long and slightly undulating, and in the lamplight  it shone.  Yet, it was her eyes and smile which always brought him back to the face.  He knew he had seen such blew eyes before.  _Damn. _It irked him.  This girl was like having a splinter that you could not get out; instead it went deeper and deeper into the skin.

_Kagome._

It couldn't be her.  What would she be doing in Tokyo of all places? He threw the idea away immediately_.  It could not be he_r, he insisted.  Turning his head the opposite direction he scowled and took another sip from the white wine.  Of course, Kikyou had chosen a terrible year.  Even the waitress had been against it…but of course the wench had insisted, and he was too fed up to bother.

She had now returned_. Damn it al_l.

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AN:   Okay, I know, abrupt ending! I think I am making Sesshoumaru-chan a little too self-pitying. Gomen gomen!! ;;  But at least there was a bit of him, ne?? HAI HAI! Kouga, a doctor, huh? I was gunna make his little sister 'Rin', but than I decided against it. I mean, I would get major flames for that. Anyways…I am trying my best to write Kouga.  And if this is turning sort of 'humorous' I'm sorry, but you have to admit the Kouga/IY relationship is!! *tee hee* Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Sorry about that rant Sesshoumaru did about movies. I got sort of carried away. Gomen gomen. And, I want to make Sesshoumaru despise Kikyou—but not actually do anything about it, cause he doesn't really care. Yeah. Anyways—sorry he didn't say much. And NO, Sesshoumaru and Kagome in the next chapter will not meet, okay? Geez.  That's probably two chapters [or four years away].  I hope by now you have figured out Sessh-chan is a doctor.  That is a major plot thing here.  Sorry if I offended anyone who works at McDonalds!

Note number one: Obon Odori is a Japanese festival that take places in early August.  The purpose of this festival is to help guide your ancestors to a night of dancing and good times. At Obon Odori strings and strings of hanging lanterns, under which people dance, light the way. It is a very fun time, and if you are ever given the opportunity, I suggest you dance. It may be embarrassing at first, but you will regret it. Read the other note too.

NOTE: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you guys want to read a really good IY fan fiction WITH Sesshoumaru/Kagome …*tee hee* I suggest that you read 'Hika-chan''s "Death of the Moon" and "Once in a Blue Moon" (the sequal.) GODS, I only wish I could write Sesshoumaru and romance the way she does!!!!!!!!!!! *cries into a heap on the floor*


	6. Chapter 6: the revelation

AN: First off, just to answer a question I am sure more than a few of you have been wondering, the 'Kagome and Kikyou look alike thing.' Okay, first off…Kagome and Kikyou do look alike, but not completetly. For one thing, different hairstyles, eye color, and bone structure. Reincarnations don't have to look like the original people. Secondly, you, as well as I know that Kikyou has coldness about her that basically, Kagome doesn't have.  Even if the two looked exactly the same, it would be their countenance, which causes them to be attractive. Also…you know, I can't tell you which way this fic is going. I am once again beginning to feel sorry for Inu Yasha…and now Kouga? Kouga is pretty damn cool, you have to admit. So what if he is possessive, eh?  This story will become more angst/and fit more into the 'drama' category in this chapter, and ones to follow.  Things always start out light and airy, ne? However, I don't think this last one will be as bad as CoTM. ^_^ Much love.

Forgotten Wish

Chapter 6

The heat wave of summer had finally come to rest upon the city of Tokyo and Japan.  The days were humid and sticky and not even the nearby sea could bring some form of relief.   The nights by comparison were somewhat better for the sun had set and no longer shone so brightly and so strongly.  The humidity too decided to give the city a break.  Cicadas from parks and trees sounded their continual drone.  It was not an unpleasant sound people having grown up in Japan, and lived there their whole life, had come to think of the cicadas as nothing more than the changes of the season.  The sound was that of electricity running through wires, only though the hum varied, as did the waves of the sea.  It began as a small murmur and then gradually increased in volume before it would stop for a second at most—and then continue on again.  

It had been about a month since Kagome and Sango had moved into Ippunkan, and finally life had begun to settle down somewhat.  Even the routines of the day had not yet become boring.  Sango, about a week after they had moved to Tokyo, had found a job working at an aquarium just a subway ride away.  The sea had always interested Sango, which, she reasoned, was partly due to her name.  Just the shear power and force that the ocean held fascinated her.  And the added bonuses of the underwater life were one of the joys that she looked forward to.  Kagome had continued working at the restaurant in the evenings.  During the day she would work a few hours at a nursery watering the plants.  However, during those few precious morning and late afternoon hours that she could call her own, she wandered around Tokyo) and the neighboring cities.  Once, she had even taken the train to Sakura and Chiba. Her days were marked only by the slow changing of the seasons and her returning home with something she had picked up during that day.  One time, she had taken the subway to the outer regions of Tokyo, where the hills began to form into the mountains.  Kagome had explained to Sango when she presented the fabric, "I couldn't resist Sango-chan! It was so beautiful!"  Colors of Europe were splashed across it forming swirls, which had reminded her of French castles.  Gold's, oranges, reds, blues, and greens were mixed together creating a design that she could never tire of.  Soon afterward she had made curtains out of them to block out the garish afternoon light, which washed out their pictures placed firmly on the wall.

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It was late afternoon and the perpetual heat still hung in the air.   It was the worst time of day—as though the sun was putting in its last fight with its victims.  The smells of fish cooking and fires mixed with the sticky sweet smell of snow cones and melted ice cream.  It was not wholly unpleasant. Kagome (who by this time had been promoted to help Inu Yasha cook somewhat, and be a waitress when it was very busy) was helping Inu Yasha stir some cake batter while he was making the icing.  The two had gotten to be on better terms somewhat—just as long she didn't mention Kouga.  Inu Yasha still had some sort of bone to pick with him that she was not quite sure of.  Every time that Kouga came to pick her up from work (for he insisted that women such as 'her' could not walk alone in the streets of Tokyo at night) there would be a noticeable tension in the air.  Kagome had just come to ignore it and tread lightly.  At times, that wasn't easy with Inu Yasha's flaring temper. 

At the moment, however, the two had been chatting about places to see in Tokyo.  Supposedly, Inu Yasha had all his family in the area, so he had never really traveled much.  He had recalled that one time they had gone out to a farm somewhere, but he had forgotten the location exactly.  Kagome was now trying to describe to him her life in the hometown of Kobe—which he found rather interesting.  She couldn't see why, but never the less, much to his demand, she continued.  Perhaps, she reasoned, they were saving themselves from boredom.  Like to people clutching to each other to survive a violent storm. 

"Ah…I see now." Inu Yasha sighed amazingly as he took out a spatula and, in with fluid movements, almost like the grace of a Taiko drummer.  One liquid movement, up and then down—and suddenly as though magic, a splash of white vanilla frosting would appear on the cake. 

"Baka." Kagome laughed softly and she knocked him on the head. Baka. She stayed perfectly still, cursing herself for her stupidity. She was waiting for his yell, his holler his scream: _never_, he would say, _are you allowed to touch me_!  And yet….it never came.  Instead, he continued to stir the icing as though nothing had happened.  She peered at him, curiously, as though he was some kind of animal in a zoo that she had just tempted with a steak.  And yet, he continued to stir, one liquid stroke after another.

The kitchen was now quiet in the afternoon, for Uemura and the others did not believe in 'showing up early'. Instead, they would arrive at the restaurant exactly at seven on the dot; right when the rush hour had began.  Kagome had figured out why Inu Yasha resented them at times.  However, she had decided that when she could, she would come help Inu Yasha.  Perhaps he may yell at her, but this, Kagome reasoned, was because he was lonely.  She stopped stirring, her eyes rather sad.  Wasn't everyone lonely though? Was not every one yearning for that one person that they were destined for?  She shook her head; but true love did not exist now in the twenty-first century.  Now, love was just physical…sex, sex and more sex.  She sighed, shook her head, and directed her thoughts to another subject.  It depressed her to think of love too long.

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Plucking a spatula out of the vase, she began to pour the cake batter into a tin with a shape of a six-sided star.  She allowed her thoughts to ramble as she did so.  The words lingered in her memory from two weeks ago, from that unforgettable night with Kouga. Ah, the poor boy…and yet, there had been a brief moment of perhaps a minute in which she had seen the darker, more uncertain side to him.  Like the underbelly of a lizard, he too had his weaknesses.  His eyes had been so dark, she remembered, as though it was a night without a moon. And no stars to keep one company. Just…utter darkness.

But it had been his words that had touched her in a way she had never imagined.  Day after day the meaning began to take form in her head, slowly materializing. She wished for the same thing as Kouga—to see smiles of those who left the hospital.  She wanted to people to have their life, and in it, find their happiness. This was her hope. Her dream.  Night after night she would lay awake in her bed musing over those words. Digesting their wisdom, as though he was some guru. And a few nights ago, the idea had come to her.  Like the morning light, it had washed over her body and soul—warming it with the good intentions of a new day.  But then, like the darkening of the night; reality had struck, and her dream was thrown into the river in which the current was too strong for her to save it. No, she would have to wait a year. 

One year. That was not so bad, ne?  Just one year….

Kagome sighed and stopped for a moment. Damn, but she wanted this so bad.  It was as though every time she saw Kouga (which was everyday) there were her dreams and ambitions slapping her in the face. One, after another, after another.

Inu Yasha, who was now making chocolate curls, turned around and glanced at Kagome.  She was so quiet…this was quite strange, especially for her.  He sighed to himself, he supposed he might as well get it over with.  He walked the length of the room to where Kagome had now moved.  All was quiet in the humidity of the late afternoon.  Inu Yasha extended a hand and gingerly tapped her on the shoulder.  Suddenly, he stepped back, as though she were a monster. What was he doing? Why was he even concerned about the idiotic girl!? After all, she was just an amateur who he had only known for two weeks.  For all he knew, she could be an ex-prostitute. He highly doubted this though—for one thing, she was WAY too cheerful and nice too—

He stopped. Did he just think 'NICE'? Did he just consider a girl nice?  He scowled angrily to himself as though he was having a bloody battle inside his head.  This was Kagome here. Kagome. Not….anyone else…._Damn. Look where my thoughts have taken me! Damn Kagome! Fuck…._ He raged to himself.

"Anou…Inu Yasha?" Kagome questioned softly, disturbing him and whisking him far away from the battle.  He glared at her for a few seconds, trying to remember why he was talking to her.  Oh that was right. She looked sad.  He grumbled moodily, why did he care? Wasn't he sad too? But did she give a damn? Did anyone give a damn? No. No one cared. No. One.  Opening is mouth to shout at her, he was interrupted by a sharp commanding yell of Himajima.

"You…" Kagome groaned as she gritted her teeth, "Will get me fired for sure."

"Quit your yapping." He spat as he crossed his arms, waiting for the inevitable.

The large doors burst open and a few waitresses appeared holding what appeared to be man whose completion had gone ashy.  His girlfriend, or wife was helping him stand, crying out, "Shiso? It will be alright…ne?"

The man seemed to be barely conscious, and nearly limp.  Kagome rushed forward, exclaiming, "What happened?"

Himajima stepped forward as she rushed towards a phone, "He just collapsed. See what you can do."

The room was full of panic, and Inu Yasha quickly turned off the gas burners. After all, if the food burnt it would be on his head.  Kagome, who was now questioning the female, (which she had now reasoned to be his girlfriend), "Can you tell me what happened?"

The lady explained, mingling her words with chocked tears, that her boyfriend, (now classified as Shiso) had needed a glass of water.  The two had come into the restaurant, and he was sweating profusely.  He had just asked for a glass of water, but before it could arrive he had passed out.  

The others, who had been listening to the story nodded, but said nothing.  Kagome on the other hand knelt down and began to loosen the man's cotton shirt.  She quickly followed by unbuttoning the cuffs, and then hurrying to find a washcloth from the bathroom.  Upon returning she instructed Inu Yasha, rather harshly, to put him into a chair.  The waitresses watched in surprise and apprehension.  Kagome wet the cloth, and wrung it out lightly, getting rid of much of the excess water that would splash over the man.  Filling a bowel with the cool liquid, and a cup with the same, she knelt down and began to give it to the man in sips.  Meanwhile, in the spare moments she dipped and ran the drips of water over the mans head.  By this time, Inu Yasha had returned from somewhere with a fan and had began to plug it in.  The woman was now babbling her thanks to Kagome, tears still streaming down her eyes.  Kagome nodded as she continued to squeeze the washcloth over the mans over heated body.  The people now stood and waited for the ambulance to arrive.  Some fifteen minutes it did that.  The woman looked down at Kagome as she climbed into the vehicle with her boyfriend, she smiled softly, a new river of tears beginning to start.  She said quietly, earnestly, and sincerely, "Thank you."

The ambulance soon sped off, and life continued back to normal in the restaurant.  The waitresses went back to serving, and Inu Yasha went back to making some pears in a honey sauce, dabbled with whiffs of coconut.  Sweet pecans were added to the honey sauce, enhancing the flavor, as the hours slowly ticked by.

Kagome remained quiet for the rest of the day, unaware of concerned glances that Inu Yasha bestowed upon her every few minutes.

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It was now mid-July, and the heat wave had for a time been put on hold.  Instead of the heat, hot and sticky with humidity; there came the rain, the warm rain that continued to wash away any memories of yesterday.  Small tears cascaded from the turbulent heavens above.  It had been about three and a half weeks since the man with the heat stroke had disturbed the ritual.  A few days earlier, the two visited Kagome and Inu Yasha; they had come to express their thanks.  Shiso explained that without the help of Kagome in particular, he probably would have had serious problems if not death. Inu Yasha chided Kagome in this, telling her she should be proud of her deeds.  Kagome, on the other hand, just simply stated that in first aid class in high school she had paid attention.  But still, Anzu insisted, they were grateful.  So, finally, Kagome had conceded as she bowed low, her smile slight, but held something melancholy about it.  Inu Yasha was not totally unaware of this.  He would say nothing of it…at least, not at that time…

Thunder boomed above the city of Tokyo as a large storm was gathering in the sea of Japan, headed directly for the urban metropolis.  It was late at night and most of the people had gone from the restaurant.  Inu Yasha was now only accepting orders for deserts, and aperitifs.  Kagome was busily wrapping up vegetables and meat for the next day of hard work.  About a half an hour passed, and the restaurant had closed for the night.  Uemura and the others had long gone home, complaining of sore backs and fingers—promising to arrive extra early the next day.  They made this promise continually.  By now, the two had gotten into the habit of nodding their head, and mumbling, "Yes, yes, see you bright and early tomorrow."  At times Inu Yasha would throw in with a bit of sarcasm, "I look forward to it."

Kouga had not yet come to pick up Kagome, for he did not get off his shift until one.  That was of no matter anyhow, Kagome mused sadly as she wet her finger and dipped it until scattered grains of sugar.  She looked up suddenly as a loud clang sounded through the deserted kitchen.  Inu Yasha was glaring at her, his arms crossed while a pot clanked against the stainless steel sink.  His eyes were like that of the first few days she had been with him, raging with anger and disgust.  Gradually over the month and a half she had known him she had noticed that the glimmer came less and less, until finally, one day it had vanished. Kagome would never bring this up with him of course, he would just snap at her angrily, and tell her to get back to work.  And so, she had been content with them talking randomly…but never of anything important, only small talk.  Their relationship existed with such words.

"What?" he growled angrily, the sound reminding her of a wild dog, "What the hell is it?"

Kagome studied him, confused.  What had brought on this hatred towards her?  Or at least this foul mood.  She shrugged her shoulders as she asked plainly, "What do you mean?"

He sneered momentarily, walking towards her, his built frame moving with grace she had often seen him with, "You know, you know exactly what I mean.  Ever since you went on that date of yours with Kouga--" He pronounced the last word as though it were infected with leprosy, "--you have been like this.  Every day you say less and less, and look like the whole fucking world is coming to an end!"

Thunder outside cracked and boomed, and the rain, sounding like large nails, began to fall steadily and heavily onto the roof.  Kagome, she could hear each drop individually, as though it was she was blessed with ears of cat or dog. 

"I…" Kagome bean firmly, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Crossing her arms over her chest, she turned her gaze upwards and looked at the ceiling as though something interesting was appearing magically onto it.  Inu Yasha, on the other hand, glared at her; his body pulsating with anger.

"Tell me! Damn it!" he swore angrily.

"Why?! And if I did, you couldn't help anyways!" Kagome glowered to herself as she continually refused to look at him.

"Women!" Inu Yasha shouted to no one in particular, "They think they know EVERYTHING.  Even if you were dying you wouldn't ask for help! Your that damn stubborn."

Kagome glared at him furiously, "The same could be said of you."

He stepped forward, coming closer and closer.  Grabbing Kagome's wrists angrily with one hand, he pulled them to his body as he leaned forward.  Glaring into Kagome's eyes as he held her chin with his other hand, he said trying to remain calm, "Kagome. Tell me."  His voice was shot with anger and perhaps even he would admit concern.  He looked into her eyesand noticed how blue they were.  They were color of the sea on a fine day; with waves crashing onto white beaches, and her laughter catching the breeze.  But what was this he detected mixed in with her anger? He pulled away abruptly—he would not allow anything to happen. All women were the same and never again would he be allowed into their damn webs that strangled you.  He would not allow anyone to touch his heart…not anymore.  

He waited as patiently as he could. Hopefully he had made his point, because he sure as hell didn't want to be that close to her again.  If he did, he might loose his already diminishing control.

The room was silent except for the sound of rain ahead, but finally Kagome looked up at him, tears welling up in her eyes.  She brushed them away hurriedly, embarrassed of her weakness. Feh, it was not like he hadn't seen. Whether she had them there or not made no difference.

"I…I want to make people smile." She finally whispered.

"What??" Inu Yasha asked.  Had he heard her right? What the hell was all this bull about 'smiling'?

"I want…I wanted, rather…to be a nurse."  Kagome bowed down her head as though she had committed murder and was confessing it in court.

"A nurse? Is that what you have been moping about?! And here…! I thought it was something important!" he sighed with relief as he ran a relieved hand through his long silvery hair.

Kagome snorted to herself,  "No…it's nothing important."

That, Inu Yasha reasoned, was the wrong thing to say. Damn.

Sipping a cup of water, Inu Yasha gave a moment to let the hormones and adrenalin wash out of his body.  He felt limp and tired—but nevertheless this conversation was not yet over. At least, not for him it wasn't.

"Well then, what's the problem?" he grumbled.

She studied her hands filled with cake flower, "It's stupid."

Inu Yasha sighed once again and rolled his eyes. GOD. Why the hell did she have to make this so DAMN difficult?!  She was forcing him to be civil, something he really didn't feel like being at the moment.

"No. It's not. Come on, Kagome, everything you do is always right. Just tell me…" he groaned.

Kagome bowed her head even more, but then whispered, "I don't have enough money for the entrance exam and to put myself through the college for four years…I can't ask my mother…and…I don't think I can do it."  A small almost inaudible sound echoed through the kitchen, the sound of one warm tear splashing against the cold tile floor.  Inu Yasha gazed at her silently, yelling at himself for noticing the way her hair glistened and shimmered in the light, like sun on ocean waves.  Her frame was now shaking with her tears and she slowly squeezed her arms as though to stop all the sorrow she held.

Nervously, Inu Yasha took a step forward, and placed a hand onto her shoulder. "Don't worry." He found himself saying, "I'll help you."

Her head rose slightly and he found himself looking into a deep dark abyss of Kagome's eyes. Never had he seen so much fear loneliness in them before.  Her usually ivory cheeks were flushed with her tears in a not unattractive way.  He found his face heating up—but quickly, he coughed and,  in the process, ruining the fragile moment. "How much is it?" his voice was low, serious, and strangely determined.  Kagome gazed up at him; never once had she seen this _expression before.  It was almost as if he had been saving it for this moment since she met him.

"I can't let you do that—" Kagome began.

"—How much?" he interrupted flippantly as he placed both hands onto her shoulders.  It amazed him slightly how fragile she felt and looked at this moment.  At this strange and tender moment.   Silence was once again in the room, washing into every corner and space.  

"Its…" she began, "Its about 20,000 yen…"

"…" It took Inu Yasha a while to recover, but finally he managed, "It costs 20,000 yen to take a test? That you might not even pass?"

Kagome looked up at him, slightly pissed, "I would pass it. I know what I burden I would be if I had to take it twice."  She paused, and heaved a great sigh, "Its not that I can't afford the school—I just can't come up with 20,000 yen and costs of living so soon. The test is in September."

Inu Yasha winced for a second, then scratched his ear, "September, eh? And you are sure you will pass?"

A most determined look was planted on her face.  As though not even his words would pierce her barrier, "I know I would pass…didn't I ever tell you I was in honor's society in my school and was voted valedictorian?"

"No, you overlooked that." He grumbled.

"Well…" she sniffled sensitively, "I did."

"Mmm…" he sighed angrily.

An awkward silence took place, until finally Inu Yasha barked, a little more gruffly than he had thought, "Fine. Fine! I will lend you the money. But you better pay me back. I know where you live."

"Inu Yasha, you really don't have to—" Kagome insisted, getting up and walking towards him trying to demonstrate that she COULD wait until next year.  She could…she was strong enough. The rain wiped against the windows outside.

"Kagome." Inu Yasha said sternly, his eyes meeting hers, "I trust you. Take the money."

The two gazed up at each other, searching silently for something unseen, unrecognized.  And yet, it was there, lingering in the shadows.  Kagome found herself noticing for the first time how much this man standing before her actually meant to her.  Whether or not they saw eye to eye—he was always there, stirring some white wine sauce or shaving chocolate swirls.  He was always there, glancing over his shoulder to see if she was all right.  But now, instead of glancing, he was looking down at her—the _expression of his eyes in earnest.  He was admitting right now how much he cared.  And perhaps she was doing the same. All along, both of them had cared…

The storm above raged on, lightning illuminating the skyscraper-speckled sky…

~`~~~~~

AN: Heh, interesting chapter, ne? Okay, I feel I am rushing it. But I am aching to write Sesshoumaru, as I am sure you are aching for me to write him. Anyways, what is this?  A little whiff of romance between Inu Yasha and Kagome? Aww, its sort of sad, really. I haven't even decided where this story is going. Yes! Kagome wants to be a nurse. Hah hah. Yeah, anyways, sorry if the story feels rushed. Ohhhh, dramatic affects with the storm! *cackles* Anyways, I hope you are enjoying the ride! Next chapter: *ahem* lets fast-forward four years, shall we? To the time when Kagome is a nurse—and she is now working in a hospital….next chapter, the fun begins, as do the love triangles of doom. Sorry, but Kikyou will remain in this story for the time being. Sorry for the lack of Sango and Miroku-ness…I have been meaning to write it…gomen!

Just to let you know, Anzu (the name of the girlfriend of the guy who had heat stroke) means apricot tree, while Shiso means beefsteak plant. Jon chose Shiso, and I figured, why not? Doesn't beefsteak plant sound like a manly plant? Yes, yes it does. 

Note: 20,000 yen is about 2000 american dollars. ^_^ just get rid of one zero on anything in yen…and there you go. 

Note: thanks so much Azzelya-chan, for helping me through all my crappy spelling and grammar mistakes. I dunno what I would do without you. 


	7. Chapter 7: the meeting

AN: Well, you guys wanted Sesshoumaru? You got him! You wanted them to meet? You got it! Sorry if Sesshoumaru-chan is so…sappy, and angsty in the past chapters. I really didn't know how to write him in that kind of relationship with Kikyou. He doesn't like her, obviously, but his problem is: he really doesn't care. So, anyways, this chapter we get used to the Sesshoumaru we know and love (somewhat). Also, a familiar original character of mine comes back into play! You guessed it! Arima Miyazawa. Yeah…I ran out of Inu Yasha characters to use…so, back to the old drawing board.  Thanks so much for the support.  Was Inu Yasha a bit out of character in the last chapter? Don't worry, he isn't gone yet. Be warned, Cappie is about to pull another time fast forward!

Disclaimers: I do not own Inu Yasha, the genius Rumiko-chan does. I do, to some extent, own Arima Miyazawa. Anyone got an offer?? *is willing to sell*

Chapter 7, of Forgotten Wish

A fic by Cappie-chan

_Four years later.  _

"And what Nariya-san, do you want?" a cold, hard, and sneering voice inquired as he looked over his small designer frame lenses.  It was quiet in the early afternoon hours at the hospital. Most of the patients were taking their nap, and many of the doctors and nurses were now taking their late, as usual, lunch break. He, on the other hand, did not need a lunch. Not as yet.  He only ate at the hospital when the sun was going down—he had trained his body over the yeas to accept the lack of food.  He, Sesshoumaru was busy, and had not time to waist chatting to the idiotic and mindless colleagues that surrounded him.

        Kouga glared pensively at the older doctor and tried to calm his nerves.  Everyone was like that around him—well, not everyone.  There were a few. A _select _few.  However, being around Sesshoumaru made most practice all the will power they held, which they had been taught to do most of their life.  One must always be kind—even to the mean and cruel. Kouga tried to remember this. He tried. Really. However, even when Kouga's eyes fell on the silver- haired man, his fists would clench in anger and hatred.  He hated the man, for reasons he could not yet explain.

"I was on my way to see how the heart transplant went with Sakatano, Okuda-san." He said crisply, and calmly-- or as calmly as he could.  Kouga even tried to smile, although he was sure it turned out terrible; looking like something a psycho would do right before they killed you.  Your blood splashing over their face. Drip. Drop. Drip.

"Then, I suggest you get to it." Sesshoumaru scoffed as he gracefully put his hands on his pockets, and walked smoothly down the tile hallway.

"That guy…" Kouga grumbled angrily as he talked off towards Sakatano's room, a scowl traced lightly onto his features.

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"Higurashi-san…she will be with…with…" the head nurse paused as she looked over a clipboard, "Miyazawa Arima…"

A young man step forward, a grin plastered onto his face, as he motioned for her to come forward.  Kagome gapped. A male nurse, eh? Well, it wasn't unheard of, was it? No, things like this happened all the time.  She kept on telling herself this—as her ideals of a nice nurse about her age in which to become friends with was torn to shreds. 

She stepped ahead as the head nurse continued to assign experiences nurses to the young, and new recruits.

"Ah, Higurashi-san. It's nice to meet you." He said bowing; still smiling as though there was some joke she was not quite in on.

Kagome, nevertheless, did the same.  When she glanced up she felt him grab her hand as he lead her a few meters away from the others.

"I hate all that formality." He sighed through his nose, "But all the head nurses expect it."  He shrugged, and adjusted his pristine white uniform.  Kagome studied him for a moment.  He had the face of someone who knew quite a lot, but didn't like everyone else to catch on.  He had somewhat large eyes, and a shapely nose.  But it was his smile which would make girl's heart stop.  It was so sincere and charming—but playful and not fake in the least.  Miyazawa Arima seemed to enjoy life.  He ran his hand through his short hair, the ends bleached, as he continued, "Anyways, just wanted to say—welcome here. It's not so bad. If you can make it through the first weeks, then you can make it through anything."

Kagome nodded firmly, as she said, "I hope to try my best."

Miyazawa starred at her, "Eh…so you are one of those hard workers, eh?" He snickered, whipping a tear from his eye, "Well, come on, first lesson: how to load the supplies cart."

He tossed her a small notebook and a pencil as they made their way down the white halls and into the supply room, which was located a few doors down from the cafeteria. (Which was now serving breakfast)  As he led her along, he chatted ideally of 'who to avoid' and 'who to become friends with'. Kagome didn't even notice him saying, "Don't, under any circumstances talk to Okuda Sesshoumaru. He'll bite your head off—he thinks of you guys as fresh meat."  Kagome just nodded silently, her eyes wandering about the hospital.  She was still running on adrenalin.  After four years, four hard years of nursing school, now she had finally come to the test.  All those years had taught her important lessons to be sure, but never the less—life in school and the real world were much different.  Much, much different.

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Sesshoumaru walked quietly into room 212.  The late afternoon light was washing in through the open windows.  The cool air of autumn could be smelled lightly in the room.  Swiftly he made his way quietly across the space to the last stainless steel bed.  He inclined against the frame, allowing the weight to shift.   Leaning against his hand, he gazed down quietly at young boy who was now feverishly trying to put the last pieces into an aquatic themed jigsaw puzzle.  A small squeal of happiness escaped the boy's mouth as he placed the last piece into place.  The jigsaw puzzle was that of a tropical island, with two sun chairs onto which brightly scattered tropical flowers and plants surrounded.  

"You finished that quickly." Sesshoumaru commented as he hoisted himself from the bed, and walked to the other side to examine the view from his window.  It overlooked the small koi pond and grove of now leafy cherry trees. The boy took a sip of water from a glass, and then chirped brightly, "I love jigsaw puzzles!"

Sesshoumaru remained quiet for a moment, letting the straightforward and simple answer ferment in his mind.  He loved them. "Yes, Hiroaki-san. I know."

The boy remained quiet, as his small dark eyes glanced out the window.  From where the boy lay, all he could see was the afternoon sun reflecting off of the skyscraper.  The Tokyo tower was just barely visible behind these obstructions.

Turning swiftly, Sesshoumaru glared down at the boy, before walking the length of the room to the doorway.  The boy called after him, his voice fresh and young like the leaves of spring, "Will you bring me another one tomorrow?"

Sesshoumaru contemplated the boy for a moment, and then quietly walking out he made his way to the office that he shared with all the other students. The sun slid behind the skyscrapers in the boy's room, casting it into shadow.

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"Higurashi-san," Arima questioned kindly as he scratched his head, "Did you remember the cotton balls? How are we supposed to be able to give people shots without them?"  He gently pressed, trying to make a point.  However, his voice was kind and friendly as ever.  The smile still remained as he dug his hands into his pockets, allowing him to slouch slightly.  Kagome flushed with embarrassment, and quickly hurried off to the supply room to get some cotton balls.  Silently she cursed herself. Of course, how could they do that without them?

When she returned, Arima chided, "Don't let it get to you, Higurashi-san. It takes a while to get used to it."  He patted her on the shoulder as he friendly wrapped an arm around her.

"I know…" she allowed herself to sigh, "I guess school isn't like the real thing."

Arima chuckled to himself, "Higurashi, it sure as hell isn't. Come on, lets go see how Sakatano is doing. His IV's need to be changed."

Kagome nodded, and smiled as she pushed the cart along the sanitary floors.  Outside the late afternoon sun made dappled patterns.

`````

"Sakatano-san?" Kouga sang friendly and rather softly as he knelt forward towards the middle-aged man.  The man slowly opened his eyes, and allowed a crinkled smile to appear onto his face.  He looked still very weak, but his eyes sparkled with hidden knowledge and passion.

"Sorry for waking you." Kouga explained profusely, "But I need to see how you were doing."  Lifting the mans hand, he felt for his pulse.  Slightly irregular; but nothing to be concerned about.  Placing it gently down onto the blankets, he felt his forehead. A slight temperature—he would have to talk to the nurse. The man sighed softly as he lifted his hand to his head.

"How am I, Nariya?" the man grumbled gruffly through his thick accent from a region Kouga could not quite define. Okinawa perhaps? But, it didn't matter.

Kouga shrugged his shoulders, smirking, "You'll pull through fine—just don't be stubborn, and take your meds.  After all, who can resist our beauteous nurses?"

The man began to laugh, but it turned into a hoarse cough.  After taking a few sips of room temperature water, he managed to get out, "Like the ones which are sixty?"

Kouga snorted as he whispered into Sakatano's ear, "Don't worry, we got new recruits today."

The door opened, and a questioning voice inquired, "What's this I hear about new recruits?"

Kouga turned around, his face lighting up with pleasure, "Arima! Hey, where have you been? Did they switch shifts on you?"  Kouga roughly shoved his friend lightheartedly as Arima entered the room.  The others face was that of sarcastic pity, "Ah, Kouga, its good to know I am loved. Yeah, they did switch the shifts on me. Last week was all graveyard. I certainly saw I different side of this hospital with that."

Kouga winced visibly, still grinning.  His eyes flashed as he saw the door open again as the beginnings of a medical cart appeared.  Stepping forward to hold the door open, he gasped, "Kagome?!"

She looked up and smiled happily. Never had she expected to be working at the same hospital that he was working.  Forgetting the cart for now, she bounded up and hugged him.  She hadn't seen him for about three months, ever since he had stopped working graveyard shift.  Pulling away, as she noticed his abnormally tight grip on her, she smiled up at him, "Kouga-kun! I'm so glad to see you! Why didn't you tell me that you worked here?"

"You never asked." He shrugged truthfully, flashing a smirk. "I see you finally stopped working at that restaurant with Inu baka—"

"—don't call him that." Kagome interrupted, her tone serious, "He is a fine, and I don't know what you two have against each other."

Arima's eyes twinkled.  He could imagine indeed.

"Fine fine." Kouga grumbled in defeat, as he wheeled in the cart to the room. Gazing at her in her uniform of white, he chuckled, "My my, you have certainly grown up in these past four years."

"And I," Kagome began as she took of the old IV and replaced it with a new one, "See that you haven't changed a bit."

Arima put his hands on his hips, as he murmured, "Yeah, he is still just like a regular high school kid."

Kouga grumbled something about idiotic friends—or rather, not friends.  Arima just nudged him in the ribs, giving him questioning looks as his eyes moved towards Kagome's distracted figure.  Kouga flushed, looked down at his shoes, and then thwaped Arima upside the head.  Arima just chuckled to himself—ah, the poor boy was hopeless.  So, he smirked knowingly, this was 'his' Kagome he had talked of in confidence.  He mused if the girl knew of Kouga's feelings—probably not. And if so, she probably didn't take it seriously.  Kouga did, after all, have something of the ridiculous about him.

Kagome leaned forward toward Sakatano-san and inquired kindly, "And how are you feeling today?  Do you think you could have some dinner?"

The man grinned as his eyes glanced at Kouga, "Yes, dinner sounds good."

"Unfortunately." Kagome began sweetly, "All you are allowed is liquids for tonight.  So…I think some nice miso broth and tea would be good, ne?"

Sakatano nodded, as Kagome added, "I will give you some pills for your fever, okay? Take them after you eat?"  The man was quiet, yet nodded again.  Kagome let him rest. 

"You certainly have a way with the patients, Higurashi-san." Arima murmured as he walked out of the room.  Kagome soon followed, but halted suddenly when Kouga grabbed her wrists.  Turning around, she studied his questioningly.  He whispered quietly, "I'll see you later on, right?"

Kagome nodded, and gently prying off his fingers she waved goodbye.  

Kouga watched her go.  For so long she had escaped him with nurses school and working at the restaurant.  Now, after four years of waiting for her—she was now here, by his side.  Smiling contentedly, he gave one last look to the peaceful Sakatano as he ambled out of the room. 

`````````````

AN: In case you haven't noticed, I switch between 'san' and 'kun', or none at all. No, I am not forgetting—I just use the endings when I feel it is appropriate.  It heightens emotions, or the opposite. Just though I should say. 

````````

"Those idiots!" Sesshoumaru cursed angrily at a fellow doctor, "Can't they do anything right!" He hit his fist angrily on the table as he threw the days report into the waist basket.  The remaining ones another doctor quickly put on a table, as he rushed out of the room. One mistake was all it took to throw a whole day off balance.  He would have to go speak with the nurses.  Making mistakes, as usual. He, Sesshoumaru, would not listen to their pitiful excuses.  Looking out the window at the sunset, he sighed to himself—this whole day had been terrible.  It was as if he could not function, something was stopping him from performing right.  It was as though he had awoken in a new body.  It irked him immensely. 

Taking off his glasses, and placing them carefully into his breast pocket—he made his way towards the vending machine.  Today he had forgotten his green tea as well, and now he was being forced to drink the sludge that the boring and probably idiotic people around him called 'coffee'.  Sighing, he pressed the button, and listened with a disinteresting gaze to the machine that was now humming. A moment later, a warmed can off UCC coffee slid out.   Bending down, he picked it up and quickly opened it.  He sipped in, cautiously.  Shrugging a bit, and rotating his shoulders, he mused that it could have been worse.  Taking a quick swallow he continued to gaze out at the scenery.  In a way, he hoped his five-minute afternoon break would be done soon.  He hated having nothing to do.

Glancing over at the forgotten cafeteria table, on which papers of reports and records of patients were scattered, he made his way towards it.   Picking one up, he found it was the boy he had visited earlier that day. Uchikake Hiroaki. For some reason, although he would not say he was 'fond' of the boy, there was something endearing about the way he acted.  He didn't like him…but then, he didn't hate him either.  He was tolerable. Yes, the perfect word to describe the overly cheerful boy; tolerable. His brows furrowed together, forming a frown, and then a scowl.  His expression continued to become graver, until finely he tossed the coffee can away walked swiftly out of the room.  The coffee machine continued to hum, as did the sun continue to set. His five-minute break had ended a minute and a half ago.  

```````````

"Ugh," Kagome groaned as she threw down her purse onto the cafeteria table, "I am so tired."  Sitting down, and plopping her head down onto the table, she hardly noticed the tray of food that Miyazawa had gotten for her.  She glanced up at him, smiling slightly, and then continued to rest her head.

"You'll get a good nights sleep tonight." Kouga commented as he munched on some fried noodles.

Arima nodded wisely, and then added, "You did good today, considering you are 'fresh meat'."

Kagome pouted slightly, crossing her arms over her body as she sat up slowly, "That's not a very nice thing to say."

Arima shrugged, and began to eat his stuffed bell peppers.  Kagome studied them for a moment, and then looking down at her plate of food (which was the mirror image of Arima's) she began to eat.  She hadn't realized her hunger until now—and it rather amazed her. Taking the fork for this European style meal she began to eat.  The flavors were delicate, yet pungent.  Somewhere, she had tasted or smelled them before.  She was too hungry to try to remember where from.  It didn't matter, did it?  Munching happily, she asked Kouga about his day—since she knew everything that had happened to Arima (since she had been with him all day).

Kouga pondered for a moment, as he was chewing the food thoughtfully in his mouth.  He began, "Well, it started out terrible.  Okuda was being an ass, as usual."  Arima let out a loud laugh, as he slapped Kouga jovially on the back.  He snorted to himself, "Yes, a day starting with Okuda would never be a good thing. I pity you…" Kouga just shrugged, and continued, "But it became better. I helped out about ten patients today with their therapy and did check ups on others. Sakatano is going good, which is a relief."  He paused, and Arima added, "Poor Uchikake-san, he seems to be doing worse."

Kouga nodded gravely, "Yes…it is a sad thing."

"Uchikake?" Kagome questioned curiously, looking up from her food.

Arima nodded, and leaned forward whispering, "Uchikake Hiroaki.  A young boy, about twelve, with a disease in his lungs."

Kagome gasped, as she sighed, "That's terrible…"

The two men nodded, and continued eating.  To them, such things were a regular occurrence. No, not everyone left the hospital, Kagome admitted. Not everyone was so fortunate.  She looked outside at the windows past the two men.  It was now nighttime, and she could dimly make out the buildings beyond their reflections.  Their lights twinkled dimly as though they were fading stars.  She ate in silence for a while, letting the memory of the day wash over her.  All that had happened.  All that had yet to happen.  Those four years of nursing school were like hell and heaven to her at the same time—and she had dreaded the hospital like the plague.  As though, these walls would decide where she went.  These walls surrounding her would decide her destiny.

The three of them ate in silence after a while, until Miyazawa exclaimed, "Eh! Kouga, did you hear?!"

Kouga jumped in his seat by the sudden noise.  He questioned irritably as he drained the broth in his miso soup. "What…?"

Miyazawa was glowing with happiness, "Kodo is coming back to Japan!"

"Eh?!" Kouga gasped, "You mean, there done with their American tour?"

Miyazawa nodded smartly, and continued, "Yes! And they are going to have a concert sometime in the winter here in Tokyo."

"Ehhh…" Kouga blew out through his mouth, putting his arms behind his head as he reclined in the chair.  A most contented look resides on his face.

Kagome coughed, and then meekly questioned, "Anou…Miyazawa-san? Who is Kodo?"

Miyazawa sputtered for words for a moment, urging Nariya to take his place, "Kodo? You mean, you don't know about the revolutionary group? The revolutionary Taiko group?!"

Kagome rested her face onto her hand, and sighed sarcastically, "No, oh high and mighty one, I do not. Please, forgive my stupidity…"

"Kagome, I didn't mean—" Kouga began; afraid he had hurt the young girls feelings.  He would never want to do this.  Never. Arima interrupted before he could persist, "Your forgiven.  Kodo is a great Taiko group known worldwide.  They have great skill, and revolutionized the art of Taiko."  Arima watched her for a moment, and then continued, "You see, as I'm sure you know, Taiko is usually played at festivals and stuff, to dance to…or, back in the ancient days, a form of communication. Kodo, on the other hand, developed it into more of a performance art, with new styles and arm movements. Ah…they are wonderful…" His eyes lit up with midsummer fireworks and firecrackers, shinning high above the glaring lights of the city.

"If we get tickets, you can come with us!" Kouga offered enthusiastically, as he made eye contact with Kagome across the table.  Could she not have realized by now his feelings towards her?

"Why, yes." Arima began smoothly as his eyes glinted at Kagome and Kouga, "It could be like a date…"

Kouga, who was about to respond to his friend's embarrassing comment, opened his mouth, when suddenly an all to familiar voice was heard behind him.  It was cold like the heart of winter, and painfully sharp like deadly icicles.

"Nariya-san."  It gloated.  It scoffed.  It laughed. It snickered. 

He turned around, his face having gone blank, and rather white. "Yes, Okuda-san?"

The abnormally tall doctor stood towering above him, calm and collected as he polished his sleek frames.  His hair had been let down momentarily, and it flooded in torrents of liquid silver down past his waist.  His eyes were a blaze, as though fire had been captured in liquid form.  All his anger and emotion emanated through them. "Where, Nariya-san, is the nurse who collected today's charts in the Nabe-zuru hall?"  Not a question. No. Sesshoumaru never inquired. He demanded.

Kouga coughed, and Arima suddenly found his stuffed bell peppers highly interesting.

"I don't know who did them. Why not go talk to the head nurse?" Kouga suggested.  Had all those years of martial arts training gone up in smoke? Remember, being provoked only led to…to…--he was finding it hard to see straight as blood pounded to his head. --…to violence.

"What do you mean, you don't know?  You were in charge of the patients in that hall today, weren't you?" his voice sneered, cold and taunting.  Of course Kouga had been, he knew it, just as well as everyone else.  They knew.

Kagome decided to glance up, and see exactly who was this ill-tempered man was.  His voice was familiar, but not in such a tone.  Never had she heard such a beautiful voice being so cruel and heartless.  She lifted her eyes, and gasped.  It was a quiet gasp, barely heard, but with enough sound to draw attention.  Kouga's eyes glanced at her, but then looked back up towards Sesshoumaru.  However, he soon found that the doctor's attention had been diverted.  What was this look…?  Never had Kouga seen such emotion on Sesshoumaru's face.  True, he had seen hatred, and disgust—but never genuine surprise, and this uneasy and hesitant look.

Kagome opened her mouth and tried to find her voice.  If only she could say his name.  If she could just ask him what his name was.  The voice was gone and all she could do was gaze into the eyes the color of amber, mingling with the translucent color of the afternoon.

"Okuda-san." A cool, calm, and totally emotionless voice questioned from behind Kagome.

That moment.  The perfect moment was gone.  Vanished.

The man's eyes shifted momentarily to the subject behind Kagome's seated frame.  His face turned impassive and cold once again.  His lips moved, and formed the words, "Kikyou."

The woman with long murky hair swiftly walked forward, and tucked her arm under the man's own.  "Lets go?" she questioned, a slight smile tugging on her lips.  The man made no response and the two left. His eyes did not even detect Kagome's still figure. She watched him go, his hair whispering in the faint breeze from the night, and footsteps echoing through out the somewhat deserted cafeteria.  It was silent for a moment, and then Kagome turned to Arima and asked desperately, "That man! That man right there! Who was he?"

Arima Miyazawa blinked, but then responded, "Why, that's Okuda Sesshoumaru."

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AN: Ohh, I am so evil. Aww. Notes: Kodo, the Taiko group, actually exists. Everything I said about them is true. No, I did not make them up like Arima Miyazawa.  Also, the "Nabe-zuru" hall means 'crane' in Japanese.  I decided that different halls would be named after animals. Anyways, uhm…was that cruel?  Don't worry minna-san, next chapter is on it's way. Trust me, I think you will like it much better. ^_^ Lets just say Kagome and Sesshoumaru exchange words.  Review, ne?


	8. Chapter 8: the moment

An: Well, the long awaited chapter…! ^_^ Tis Kagome and Sesshoumaru meeting time! I hope that this fic is progressing nicely, and you enjoy it. Uhmm…lesse, basically, that is it.  Just to let you know, Arima Miyazawa is NOT going to fall in love with Kagome. Actually, I think he is gay—or at least, not interested all that much in girls.  I imagine his attitude as a kind, yet sarcastic Tasuki. Can you see it? ^^;; maybe not. Anyways, also, just because I like to, I think I will add Hojo-kun later on. Too bad there are not THAT many characters in Inu Yasha…unless you count a multitude of demons….;;;

Disclaimers: I do not own the anime, or manga Inu Yasha. Rumiko-chan luckily does that. I do, however, own the restaurant mentioned in this story, as well as Arima Miyazawa (even though his name is a combo of characters from Kare Kano). I also don't own the book Hagakure, mentioned throughout.

Forgotten Wish

Chapter 6

_Be true to the thought of the moment and avoid distraction.  Other than continuing to exert yourself, enter into nothing else, but go to the extent of living single thought by single thought. _

_--From the second chapter of Hagakure, by Yamamoto Tsunetomo_

It was September. He hadn't really noticed lately—he was too busy with other things.  He had no time to care.  But now as Sesshoumaru sat quietly down onto the Hospital park bench, he found himself noticing for the first time the bright array of leaves above his head that were scattered vibrantly against the ground.  It was a magnificent picture; the bright shades of gold (tinged around the edges with brown), and persimmon colored leaves standing starkly out against the dark lush lawn.  And above it was the gray of the Tokyo landscape, and then, farther above laid the brilliant blue September sky—its beauty indefinable, beyond words. 

Adjusting his glasses slightly, he focused his eyes down onto the page he had just been reading.  He had read this book so many times, innumerable, and still with each paragraph hidden meanings were always found in the words.  The pages were printed on fine parchment and it was bound in a dark shade of leather.  Almost inky in color. 

_A certain person said the following._

_There are two kinds of dispositions, inward and outward, and a person who is lacking in one or the other is worthless. _

He paused, his eyes glancing up to the sudden shriek of an infant laughing in his grandmother's arms.  The wind, he had noticed, had placed a few windblown leaves onto his shoes.  Irritably he nudged them off, and continued. 

It is, for example, like the blade of a sword, which one should sharpen well and then put in its scabbard, periodically taking it out and knitting ones eyebrows as in an attack, wiping off the blade, and then placing it in its scabbard again.  If a person has his sword out all the time, he is habitually swinging a naked blade; people will not approach him and he will have no allies.  If a sword is sheathed, it will become rusty, the blade will dull, and people will think as much of its owner. 

He closed his eyes, and listened to the words repeat swiftly in his head.  Like a fine wine, he savored its flavor.  Peering angrily around him, as he opened his eyes once again, he glanced down at his watch.  Closing the book with a swift movement he placed it into his satchel, and made his way back to the Hospital.  He would have been there the whole time if they hadn't insisted he take breaks.  It was not good to work this much, they all insisted.  Weaklings were what he gathered.  Coolly he walked into the back entrance, his face emotionless as the last line whispered…

…and people will think as much of its owner…

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"Good morning." He stated coolly as he entered the room, still not yet touched by the rosy fingers of dawn. The boy had been sipping a cup of tea, his hands wound carefully about the white plastic cup.  He looked up, his cheeks flushed by the steam rising like spirits, perhaps his own, out of the vessel.  His eyes looked tired, as though he had not received much sleep.  Sesshoumaru reminded himself that he would have to look into that. The boy smiled, showing a tooth that was slightly crooked, "Good morning Okuda-san!"

Sesshoumaru sat down onto the bed, and gazed at the boy.  Was it just his imagination, or did he skin seem waxier? Hiroaki looked at him, curiously, and then suddenly reaching out he reached into Sesshoumaru's breast pocket and extracted his glasses. Putting them on, he said, "Look! Now I am just like you."

Sesshoumaru glared at him, a look of pity on his face.  Gently he took them off the young boys face, and placed them safely back into their original situation.  He murmured, not angrily, but sarcastically, "Idiot."

Hiroaki grinned, but suddenly his expression turned sour as he began to violently cough.  Coughs filled with phlegm and salvia traveled up his throat, and landed into a small handkerchief for just that purpose.  Sesshoumaru said nothing, but instead handed him the cup of tea, and said, barely in a barely inaudible voice, "I will rid this of you yet…"

He began to walk out of the room, his ears being blasted with the sound of the young boys cough.  A nurse rushed by him, her hair flying in the breeze.  He took no notice, but paused when the kid croaked out, "Thank you for the puzzle."

He said nothing.  His acknowledgment needed not words. 

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The hazy morning sun of autumn had now finally decided to settle onto the white tile floors that the hospital seemed to be constructed of.  As Kagome placed daily pills into small plastic cups she gazed at it quietly aware of its comforting glow.  She did this every morning, allowing the feeling of happiness and contentment to seep slowly into her being.  It gave her strength for the long, yet productive day ahead. The color reminded her of sesame tea which was given to her at a restaurant in Kobe.  The scent was warm, and comforting, its taste familiar.

It was amazing how quickly the season had changed.  The curtain had gone down slowly onto summer, and now the red velvet days of autumn were now showing. A most brilliant performance at that.  Kagome blinked as she tried to remember how long she had been working at the hospital.  It seemed that days flew by quickly, and the nights even faster.  This was not to say that she did not enjoy her job, but certainly, it gave her little time for small pleasures.  The only thing she looked forward to now was chatting happily with Kouga, Sango, or Arima over a tasty dish that the cafeteria served.  Really, she thought, cafeteria food was not supposed to be as delicious as it was. Cafeteria food by definition was supposed to be terrible.

"Kagome-chan, good morning!"  Ito smiled cheerily.

Kagome nodded, bowing slightly, exchanging the same greeting. Good morning? How are you? Lovely weather.  She was like a wind up doll, she felt. But really, Ito was a nice girl, and she should be so as well.

"Lovely weather, ne Ito-san?" Kagome chirped brightly as she walked over to her friend.

The girl nodded, allowing her long and luxuriant hair to rustle slightly. "Un! It's very nice. Perhaps we make take a walk on our break, ne?"

"Yes, that would be nice."

It would be.  She wanted to drown in the golden light.  The golden color. 

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"Shimano has suffered a serious stroke, damaging the left side of the brain extensively.  His abilities to communicate have not yet been restored.  We are waiting for the brain to go back to its normal state.  It was slightly enflamed—but it all seems to be under control." He paused, looked up over his glasses, and studied Nariya Kouga who was calmly writing the information down onto a brown clipboard.  The man looked up from his writing, his expression one of control.  Sesshoumaru closed his eyes for a moment, and then continued, "He is in a coma. I expect you to keep your eye on him.  Sensei will be mad if he hears of you slacking off.  Is that clear?"

The man's jaw was clenched, and a vein could visibly be seen extruding from his neck.  His voice was gruff and stained, "Crystal."

Sesshoumaru took off his glasses and polished them with slow, determined strokes.  Placing them into his breast pocket he said coolly, "You may go now."

Nariya Kouga gave a shallow bow and quickly stalked off down the hall.  Sesshoumaru's eyes glinted mischievously as a slight smirk came to his lip. Thrusting his hands into his coat pockets he strode down the hall.  It was bliss.

He has stopped suddenly, and pressed himself against the hall wall.  His movements quick and decisive.  Sesshoumaru allowed his weight to shift as he leaned against the partition and titled his head back ever so slightly.  There it was.  The voice, yet again. It reminded him of a pine forest lit with late afternoon sun.  Warm, comforting…and yet, mysterious. He knew it came from that girl who had been sitting with Nariya and Miyazawa for the past month.  What she saw in them he didn't have a clue.  Whatever the reason though, the three of them had become friends. He stopped his thoughts suddenly as a wave of anger and jealousy flashed through his body. Friends? He silently snorted to himself. Friends. Friends who stab you in the back, laugh at you, feign emotions? There was nothing to be jealous of.  The feeling soon passed, and he allowed himself a moment to listen to her voice.  It was uncertain, questioning.  He did not find this strange, considering she was new at the job.  It would be long indeed before her confidence would build up. However, he mused, she did not seem to be doing so terribly.  After all, Nariya and Kureno had been fumbling around the hospital for at least a year. Ah, how delicious it had been to torture them.  To assign extra loads of work, to give them the easiest cases to test their patience. Ah, how wonderful.  He halted his thoughts suddenly as he questioned angrily—'Why am I so curious about her?'.  After all, most women he knew were idiots who only cared about shopping and material possessions.  For all he knew, this girl could be like all the others.  All the idiotic others.  And he would not let anyone get the better side of him.  No one. Ever. But even as he thought this, her words drifted through the doorway.

"Anou…Miyazawa-san? Is this correct?" Nervousness. Apprehension.  He could practically smell it radiating off her being.

"Higurashi, don't worry. That is fine.  Just make sure you do it gently—they aren't supposed to feel this, remember?"

Higurashi…? Did that brain dead man just say Higurashi?  His eyes narrowed.  No. Of course not.  He had heard wrong.  He stopped suddenly, allowing himself to firmly grasp his thoughts.  That couldn't have been though.  He, Sesshoumaru, never heard wrong. Never.  He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, as he quickly pushed against the wall.  A few seconds later he was hurriedly walking down the hall to the nurse's room.  He dared to question the thought.  At the moment, however, the reflection of mishearing sounded much more appealing rather than the other option.

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"Shuzuka-san." Sesshoumaru said quietly, as he entered the head nurses office.  The middle-aged woman looked up, and crisp smile spreading across her face, "Ah! Okuda-san! What brings you to my office today?"

Sesshoumaru leaned against the wall beside the door, and placed his hands into his deep large pockets.  He had grown so accustomed to this white coat he wore everyday.  He reminded himself that he should never grow adapted to anything.

"It regards a nurse." He said stiffly, choosing his words carefully.

"Oh no. Have one of them messed up a medication?" Shuzuka questioned concernedly as she placed down a pencil she had been holding.  No, that wasn't it. At least, not today.

"No." he said frankly, and then adding in a extremely serious tone, "Its not that."

The nurse blinked as if she was confused.  She smiled sweetly, and questioned again, "Well then, Okuda-san, what can it be?"

Sesshoumaru allowed the intonation of his voice to be extremely casual, and unemotional.  It was just a passing query, he told himself.

"Its about a new nurse.  Is there one here called Higurashi?"

The words were not even out of his mouth when the elder nurse clapped happily, exclaiming with delight, "Ah yes! Kagome-chan. She is such a sweet girl, ne? And such a beauty."

Sesshoumaru said nothing, his face like a mask.  A very dignified, yet expressionless mask.  The nurse's mouth formed a grin, "My my! Could it be you have grown fond of her?"

Sesshoumaru allowed himself to show some indignation, as he scoffed angrily, "Me? Fondness for that wench?"  He glared at her broodingly, "I was inquiring due to the fact that—" he paused a half a second to think of something. "—Nariya requested that she be found. Supposedly she has Shimano-san's medication."

It was highly, highly, unlikely that he, Sesshoumaru, ever help the little wrench Nariya.  It was beneficial that the head nurse and himself did not spend much time together.  If she had, she would have realized that never would he be caught dead doing an errand for the likes of Nariya.

"Oh? Is that so?" the Shuzuka questioned, "Well then, I will just have to keep an eye out for her, ne?"

Sesshoumaru, quickly turning on the heel of his shoe, murmured smoothly, "Yes, you do that."

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"I'm sorry, Kagome.  The head nurse changed my lunch break." Ito-san explained hastily as she changed Shimano's IV.  Kagome brushed this aside, smiling gently, "Don't worry about it, ne? It is a beautiful day, I won't feel lonely at all."

"That is such a relief."

"Don't worry." Kagome cooed sweetly, helping Ito with the IV.

"Tomorrow then. Defiantly tomorrow."

"Of course." Kagome smiled cheerfully.

It was not until she was in the next patient's room that she realized both Nariya and Miyazawa's lunch hour had been changed.  So, it seemed, she really would be eating alone.  No matter, she resolved, it was a beautiful day. A beautiful autumn day.

Silently she mused to herself that perhaps she could get some reading done. The God's had other plans for her that day…

````

She had worked through lunch, without even being aware of it.  It was not until about ten minutes to six that the head nurse, Shuzuka, came bustling up in a fury of white.  She had explained with fervent vigor that 'such a young girl, as yourself, should not be loosing herself in her work! She was young, and go out and enjoy life.' Then, she had instructed, firmly and in utter most seriousness, that she was commanded to go out, and take a half an hour break. No questions. Kagome had been pushed out the door, heated bento box in hand.

Really though, as she stood outside amidst the great proud trees, it was not so bad.  In fact, it was rather peaceful.   The golden sun was now low on the horizon, causing long and deep shadows to stretch across the length of the lawn. It was a beautiful color, this gold.  And as she stood their, cool winds blowing from the sea kissing her face, she remembered how much she had longed for such color and warmth.  She found herself caught up in the spell the day had cast, as though she had been transported to some place…far far away.

Kagome blinked, suddenly, as she found herself gazing across the lawn at Okuda Sesshoumaru.  She gripped her bento box tightly, feeling suddenly tense and nervous.  This was her chance, she reasoned, this was he chance to talk to him.  To Okuda Sesshoumaru, the boy she had promised to marry.

``````

The word gen means "illusion" or "apparition."  In India, a man who uses conjury is called a genjutsushi ["a master of illusion technique"].  Everything in this world is but a marionette show.  Thus, we use the word gen. 

Sesshoumaru allowed his eyebrow to rise a quarter of an inch as he digested the information he had just read.  Glancing up as a sudden gust of wind fingered his hair he found himself starring at a girl, who was curiously looking down at him.  To his modest surprise it was none other than Higurashi Kagome.  He allowed his gaze to waver for a half a second as he studied her facial features, and then traveled down the length of her body.  Her eyes were a deep shade of blue…one that he had never seen a Japanese person bestowed naturally with.  They were the color of the sea.  A deep, and dark sea; their depths endless. Then, he shifted his eyes from her and back to his book, and continued reading in earnest.  He wanted no interruptions from the likes of young, bubbly, fresh out of college nurses.

Sesshoumaru noted that the girl did not give up easily, and the sound of fabric rustling alerted him to the fact that she had seated herself next to him.  He sniffed silently as her scent wafted to him across the breeze.  Not the usual flowery scent which most girls wore.  No, this one had a subtle edge.  Something faint about it brought images of old temples in Kyoto, speckled like rays of light across a darkened sky filled with threatening thunderclouds.  A spring rainstorm at a temple. Yes…

He focused his mind and continued to read. 

To hate injustice and stand on righteousness is a difficult thing. Furthermore, to think that being righteous is the best one can do to one's utmost to be righteous…will,…on….

"You are Okuda Sesshoumaru." She said softly, quietly—get surprisingly, not in a weak or timid voice.  He hated weaklings.

His eyes slid to gaze at the girl, not allowing his head to turn.  No, she did not have his attention.  Not yet, at least.  Sesshoumaru's eyes flashed in the honey colored light of late afternoon.  A cutting edge like a sharpened blade came to his voice, as he acknowledged, "Very observant of you, girl."

He could hear the tear of fabric as his blade cut and slashed at her form.  He cut away all barriers.  He cut away all strength.  Now, girl, let us see how you will survive….

It was quiet, except for the rustling of crimson maple leaves above their heads.  They burned red in the light, as though in any second they threatened to burst into flames.

"I am Higurashi Kagome." She said simply as she quickly picked up a piece of piece of fish and placed it into her mouth.  She looked down at her box lunch, as if studying what next she should eat.  The girl then decided on a piece of chakin-zushi.  She chewed slowly, and then took a sip of ama-zake and continued to gaze down at her bento box. 

Sesshoumaru placed down his book, the page marked.  His eyes were cold, yet not icy.  He stated, "You moved."

Kagome glanced at him, smiling slightly, her eyes rather sad and sorrowful. "Yes, to Kobe.  About a month after you…" she paused.  Could she address him so casually?  It could have been that he had forgotten of her existence up until now.  He could have thrown her earring away in the trash as soon as he had reached mainland that day.  She continued, her voice trembling slightly, yet firm in tone. "—After the visit."

Although mildly interested, he said nothing.  He wondered—could financial trouble have fallen upon them? Or, perhaps the death of father made a bad name for the Inn. 

"I see." Was all he allowed himself to say.  Although childhood friends, this did not automatically mean that they could strike up their relationship where it left off.  Most likely, they could and would never be friends again.  The past, like so many things, was dead.

Kagome smiled suddenly, her face lighting up as though she had discovered the secret to happiness.  It was amazing how much difference a smile made.  She said cheerfully, yet not overly excited, "You are a doctor now, I see. Congratulations."

His eyes held a sarcastic edge, as his lips formed the words, "And you are a nurse."

Her smile faded.  His mocking tone had slashed deep.  Just as had wanted it to.  Hadn't he?  She was now looking down at her bento box, and then picking up a bit of fish she continued to eat.  The two said nothing else.  Sesshoumaru read and Kagome ate under the honey colored light.

The light began to fade slightly, and Sesshoumaru got up so suddenly that Kagome nearly fell off the bench.  Turning to her, he said, "Excuse me. I must leave now." And then, strode off in the direction of the main building, taking long, easy strides his white coat gleaming behind him.  Kagome watched him go, slightly unnerved by how much had changed in him.  Of course, she could still see the glimmer, the faintest light, of the past living.  Turning her gaze towards the lawn she saw a cool and icy lady hurriedly walking in the direction that Sesshoumaru had set out in.  Her face was beautiful, like that of a porcelain doll.  Small lips, large eyes, and a shapely nose—like a Japanese geisha was her coloring; ebony hair, pale, almost white skin, and deep red lips.  Beautiful was the only word which one could use to describe her.  Yet, it was a chilled beauty—one that needed to be served with ice.  The lady stopped walking abruptly as she neared Kagome—her eyes, her dark large eyes, turned towards the seated figure.  They narrowed, and her expression although unreadable held something of disdain.  A second later, she continued her journey.

Kagome exhaled a long breath which she had not realized she was holding.  She felt weak, and limp. So much had happened in the very brief and precious moments.  She allowed her head to tilt back slightly as she studied the cloud speckled sky ahead, now beginning the evening show.  Pinks and gold's hung on their edges whispering of the cool breezes yet to come.  Silently she questioned to herself if perhaps Sesshoumaru had forgotten the promise of long ago.  She closed her eyes, and listened to the wind glide through the crimson maples above her head. 

AN: first off, chakin-zushi (no, its not chicken sushi) is an egg wrapped sushi.  A seasoned and vinegared rice ball wrapped with a thing egg crepe in an artistic way.  Ama-zake (and no, its not 'ama sake' either) is a sweet beverage madder with fermented rice, served hot.  It is slightly alcoholic, so very slightly that even children can drink it.  It sounded like a nice thing to drink on a crisp fall day, ne? I am also getting back into my "sadness" sort of thing here. Did this chapter seem sad, or was it me? Hmm. *ponders* Anyways, next chapter…! How will Kagome and Sesshoumaru react around each other?  And is this rivalry between Kouga and Sesshoumaru? But where did Inu Yasha go, and what happens when Hojo-kun shows up as a likely tenant in the apartment?  *cackles madly*   anyways, please read and review. You can also write me at: furinkoto_neko@yahoo.com


	9. Chapter 9: the misunderstanding

AN: Well, I was evil get again last chapter. I know. I know. But, it's the only way to keep all my followers hanging! *nods wisely* Anyways, this chapter should be somewhat better. Lets just say there is more interaction between Kagome and Sesshoumaru. Thanks for all the reviews! ^_^

Disclaimers: I do not own Inu Yasha, the manga, or the anime, or any of those nifty products (like stationary, and UFO catcher's). I do own the character Miyazawa Arima, as well as Uchikake Hiroaki. Okay. That's it. I am finished.

Forgotten Wish

Chapter 9

The morning smells of miso soup mingling with frying bacon did not create a smell that was wholly unpleasant.  In a strange way the two actually went together, the flavors complimenting.  Or, at least, so Inu Yasha thought.  As he quickly chopped up a green bell pepper, which was about to be used for an omelet, he allowed his thoughts to wander.  It had been about two months since Kagome had left PleutCoeur, two long months indeed.  After those four quick years of nursing school had passed by, he found that when she had left the atmosphere of the restaurant had turned dull and boring.  It was as if she was some sort of beacon shining in the dark.  People flocked to her, loved her, and some (although sheknew of none) adored her.  But, working side by side with her for that time period,he had come to realize that Kagome longed for nothing.  From all he could tell, she wished for happiness and for the love of one person.  Who this one person was, he didn't know.

Dumping the bell pepper bits into the hot frying pan, he stirred them idly.  Things had changed even since Kagome had left.  He would never go back to PleutCoeur. Never.  Not after he had seen Honda Naraku's weak point.  Not after he had seen the pictures.

~

It was early in the morning, about three. It was a holiday weekend, so they had stayed open rather late.  Honda had gone, as well as everyone else.  As usual, Inu Yasha was the last there.  Flexing his soar shoulders he walked down the hall that led to the dining area.  He paused, however, and turned his gaze towards the large door that led to Naraku's office.  Needless to say, curiosity took the better part of him and he opened the door.  It was as if something was drawing him to it, like the needle with Sleeping Beauty. He flicked the lights, and the room was lit moodily from recessed lights above.  He paused as a bead of sweat ran down his face.  It fell to the ground, making a small sound.  Inu Yasha found his feet shakily walking towards the desk and the images that were carelessly strewn across it.  His eyes widened, as he fingered the glossy photos, about five in all.  The first was one of Kagome at the hospital in her nurses uniform, talking cheerfully to a person in the wheelchair.  He flipped to the second.  It was of her in her undergarments—taken right before she pulled the bottom of the PJ's over her exposed legs.  Anger flooded through Inu Yasha's body.  He had always thought that Naraku felt something for Kagome—now these pictures proved it.  His boss was a sick bastard.  He flipped to the next one and quickly, out of embarrassment, threw them onto the table.  He walked hurriedly out of the room, throwing his apron on the floor.  The lights turned off, casting the restaurant into total darkness.  The picture that Inu Yasha threw down gleamed in the moonlight, revealing her bare frame.

~

Inu Yasha added the eggs to the omelet.  His expression was one of disgust.  So, Honda Naraku had hired a private eye for Kagome. Or…something…a stalker, more like it. And Kagome the nice and innocent girl that she was probably didn't even notice. Inu Yasha mused that the Pi, or pervert, must have been abnormally good if he could get 'such' shots of the modest girl.  His face was aflame and he directed his attention back to the food. 

````````

When meeting calamities or difficult situations, it is not enough to simply say that one is not at all flustered. When meeting difficult situations, one should dash forward bravely and with joy.  It is the crossing of a single barrier and is like saying, "The more the water, the higher the boat."

The words seeped into Sesshoumaru's mind, like tea, becoming stronger and stronger with each passing minute.  Yet, just like tea, after a time they became bitter.  As the thought swam continently through his head he was unaware of the stooped figure that resided near Uchikake's small, child-sized bed.  He gazed at it for a moment, not exactly registering what he saw.  Nevertheless he took one step forward, and another, and another; until he found himself a few feet away from the still crouched figure in a nurse's uniform.  He studied her warily. Sesshoumaru was extremely wary of nurses nowadays.  Most of them were these wide-eyed girls who thought it was a romantic job. Romantic was as far as one could get from the truth.  To have to watch sick people die slowly, day-by-day, to see a person you allowed to touch you die the next day.  Romantic.  How idealistic. His eyebrows burrowed together as he studied the form.  It did look very familiar.  It was graceful in a way that few people were.  The movements were clean, and precise—elegant.  Her hair was not unnaturally shiny like most girls, but instead it had a pleasant luster to it.  Sesshoumaru slid his eyes to her skin, which was hardly visible since the figure was not facing him.  But the quality, and flawless color of it was admirable.  Not  deathly white as Kikyou's, but filled with a healthy color.  Grimacing slightly, he sat down on a stool hidden from her view due to the white curtain that protectively covered Hiroaki on one side.

What the hell was the wench doing? Whatever it was, she was certainly taking her time.  He waited, patiently, his body tense like a panther waiting to strike.

"Mm, that's good." Hiroaki said happily and a slight sound of slurpingcould be heard.  A few drops and then more slurping. So, mused Sesshoumaru, Hiroaki had become to weak to eat on his own.  That was not a good sign.

"Isn't it?  It's made with leeks." The voice explained gently, kindly.  

Sesshoumaru noted the fluid quality of the voice—it was like warm water traveling quietly to the sea.  He shook his head and rolled his eyes.  Even if she did have a nice voice, he wanted her to leave. Now. Unfortunately, he had put himself in a most un-advantageous position, so now he must endure this mindless torture.  Their conversation, he rationalized, would be so sweet it would make him feel uneasy.  All these nurses covered the truths with lies. 'Of course you will get better!', 'My! You are looking well today!'. 

"What is a leek?" Hiroaki questioned curiously.  There was a pause, and then, "Its sort of like a green onion.  Do you know what that is?"

The rustle of fabric, Sesshoumaru assumed, was made by the boy nodding. "Aren't they the green things mom put on tofu and my miso soup?"

"Exactly." The voice acknowledged.

There was a moment of silence yet again, and a couple of trickles, and then the voice questioned again, a hint of curiosity around the edges, "Where did you get this beautiful jigsaw puzzle?"

The boy chirped happily, as though new life had been poured into him, "Okuda-san gave it to me!"

"Okuda-san?" the voice questioned suddenly, "Do you mean Okuda Sesshoumaru?"

"I don't know his first name." The boy confessed, "He never told me."

Sesshoumaru silently groaned to himself.  This conversation was nowhere near the end.  Hope could drive a man crazy, he reasoned.  Sesshoumaru made no action, but continued to sit still on the wooden stool.  It was amazing how much a bit of fabric could make one feel hidden and protected.

"Well then, Hiroaki-chan, why don't you describe him, ne?" the voice suggested.

Sesshoumaru felt he had heard such a sound before. This voices familiarity was slowly driving him mad, as was this sickening conversation.  Of course, at least the wench, whoever she was hadn't said, 'You'll be better in a week, I promise.'  

"Okay!" Hiroaki chirped.  Sesshoumaru was slightly unnerved by the boy's enthusiasm.  Did he really think so fondly of him?  He found that hard to believe.  He, Sesshoumaru, had never treated him kindly.  However, he mused, he had never treated him rudely. 

"Well…" the boy began, "He had looooooonggg silver hair and pale skin! And he has golden eyes and nifty silver glasses!"

A gentle laugh could be heard.  It sang sweetly through the disinfected splendor of the room. "Really? He sounds like some sort of demon the way you describe him."

"He isn't a demon!" Hiroaki explained fervently.

Had the wench just thought of him as a demon? A demon?! Where was she getting these ludicrous ideas?!

"I know he isn't. But I do know whoyou are talking about.  He is a very nice man."

Nice?  He had never been nice to anyone in this hospital! He had made it a point to be intolerable—he never wanted to be bothered with this false friendship that everyone was so content on forming.  He desired solitude. 

"Anou…?" the boy questioned nervously.

"Yes?" the voice questioned.

"What is your name? You know mine, I should know yours." Hiroaki ventured hesitantly.

"Ah! How terrible of me!"  By the silence, Sesshoumaru could tell that she must be smiling.  His eyes narrowed, waiting. Yes, who was this girl?

"My name is Higurashi Kagome."  A silence came as Sesshoumaru observed her bowing from the shadow cast upon the fabric.  She was Higurashi? Of all his luck.  Well, he might as well come out. He could not afford to waist anymore time.

"Its very pleased to meet you." Kagome smiled happily.  She looked up suddenly when a sound of quick movement alerted her.  The fabric screen had hastily been drawn back and she found herself looking in astonishment at none other than Okuda Sesshoumaru.

"O-Okuda-san?!" Kagome sputtered, embarrassed. How long had he been there!?

"Okuda-san!" Hiroaki chirped excitedly, "We were just talking about you!"

"So I heard." He murmured quietly taking the stethoscope from around his neck and placing it on the boy's fragile chest.  Kagome began to back away, hoping she could make it to the door.

"And where, Higurashi-san, are you going?" she heard emanating from the lips of Sesshoumaru.  His voice was kind, yet partially mocking.  Obviously he could sense her uneasiness. He could probably smell it, knowing him.

"I-I—" Kagome stuttered nervously, grasping her clipboard.

"You are not finished with the boy yet." His eyes glimmered with seriousness.  Yet, it was not a contemptuous request.  It was as though he was saying—' Are you always like this Higurashi? Starting something you never plan to finish?'  Kagome stared at him uneasily, noting the way a few long strands of his silver hair had fallen across his face. She could not stay, however—she no longer felt the comfortable atmosphere when they were kids.  Even yesterday's chat with him had been better than this.  At least the two, somewhat had been alone.  But now…now… she grasped for an excuse.  Could she face him, and act normally?

"I have to go do my rounds." She explained hastily, walking hurriedly towards the door.

"Higurashi" Sesshoumaru said firmly. His voice vibrating somewhat, "You have to give him is medication." _Crap_, thought Kagome bitterly. Of course that would be the case, wouldn't it?

She walked slowly back, her head bent low, looking at the floor. She felt uneasy and nervous in the shadow of his tall frame.   

"Don't make it look like I have killed you." He said stiffly, turning his attention back to Hiroaki. No, it was not a joke. Not amusement.  Nothing ever was with Sesshoumaru. Kagome studied him thoughtfully.  It seemed asthough he was not angry with her, yet he was in a better mood.  At least she could sense some sort of emotion in his voice, unlike the day before when there had only been scorn and anger.  His hands worked with gentle familiarity as he checked Hiroaki's vital signs. How nice his hands were, Kagome thought dazedly.  They had a fluid sort of edge to them, but not wimpy.  They were strong, yet gentle; controlling the power that lay in them. 

"Higurashi?" his voice interrupted her thoughts.  She glanced up, finding his gaze resting on her figure.  She blinked, what was this look in his eyes? Averting her eyes from his piercing stare, she mumbled around the tray looking for the bottle that held the medication.  She placed the pill next to a glass of water on the bedside tray and stood back as she watched Hiroaki gulp it down.  The boy made a face of disgust, but it soon passed. 

Turning slowly around she made her way towards the exit. One step after another after another—perhaps, Kagome hoped blindly, she could make it.  How much she wished to be out of this room.  This presence of Sesshoumaru was overwhelming her.  Things were so different now, and she felt weak and feeble around him.  Where had been the kind boy she had once known? Had he died along with his father?  Who was the man who claimed to be him?  The door was so close, at most an arms length away.  Her vision blurred and she stumbled to the doorframe, clutching it protectively.  Everything seemed so distinct, each white tile standing out against the ground.  The sunlight was an array of colors, each one seen in its respective glory.  She closed her eyes and gulped.  

"Higurashi…" she had never realized how differently he said her name.  His intonation, the way he put more stress onto the last syllable.  It was as though he had changed her name into something unique.  She swung her eyes lazily to him and studied his face.  It was emotionless as usual—like a mask he never took off.  He wore this mask throughout life.  Perhaps, thought Kagome, he had forgotten his existence?

To look at Sesshoumaru required her to tilt her head back somewhat, even if his eyes impaled her savagely. He had forgotten all about the promise, Kagome thought sadly. Had he forgotten such an important wish of hers?

"Yes, Okuda-san?"  She inquired, trying to pull the pieces together.  Trying to play her part of the cheerful nurse.  Yet, she had forgotten all the lines. "Is there something you would like?"

His answer almost cut off her voice by its intensity.  It was like a beautiful brush, dancing across the board, covering up her pencil marks with India ink.

"I would just like to remind you, Higurashi- _san._"  He accentuated the word, 'san' as though she did not even deserve his respect at that. Ah, Kagome thought sadly, how times had changed.  How times had changed… "That I want none of the nonsense _your _kind spouts to these kids. That boy in there knows he is going to die—saying other wise would only bring his hopes up.  Lies may be more pleasant than the truth, but the boy will have to learn that."  

Kagome looked at him in shock. "What??" she hissed furiously, "What the hell are you saying?  Have you no feelings?"

"Whether I have emotions or not is none of your concern." He said coldly, venomously. 

Ah, how sharp his blade was today; how clean the cut.  She stareddown in horror as the pristine white of her uniform was stained with the blood from his sword.  The crimson engulfed her being, slowly drowning her. But, she would not give up without a fight.  

"Your right, it isn't.  But I care about Hiroaki just as you do, even if you can't admit it.  What I say to him is none of your business. It is only between him and I." She raged heatedly, her body vibrating with anger. She looked up into his expressionless eyes and was about to open her mouth to say her parting words when a cool, and calm voice with the ancient charm of the Koto flooded to her ears.

"Ah, Sesshoumaru-san." The voice said breezily.

His gaze shifted to the girl with the pale, white skin.  Her expression was questioning, mischievous, Kagome noted.  Kagome turned towards the woman; she stared at her dumbly.  She felt immature and like a teenager next to her.  Everything about her was refined and elegant—her features, her movements, her body.  The perfection of her sex. 

"Who is this?" she questioned sweetly, her eyes dancing with laughter.

Sesshoumaru was silent for a moment, his mouth forming a thin, angry line.  Finally, he said plainly, "It is Higurashi Kagome. She is a new nurse."

A perfectly sculpted eyebrow rose and a hint of sarcasm was traceable in her voice. "Oh? Is that so?"

Kagome stiffened notably.  The girl was mocking her, for reasons she could not quite understand.  Was it because she was talking to Sesshoumaru?  And then, she remembered the look the girl had given her yesterday.  A look of hatred and anger. Yet why? Was it because of Sesshoumaru?

"Yes. That is so." Kagome said simply, meeting the dark deep eyes of the woman with the white skin. "And who are you?"

"I?" she questioned curiously, almost innocently. "I am Takoage Kikyou."

Takoage.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Kagome stated simply bowing.

"My!" Kikyou laughed pleasantly, perhaps too pleasantly, "How formal her Japanese is! Why, I feel as if I was back in the feudal age."

Kagome distinctly noticed that this 'Kikyou' had neatly disposed of 'It is a pleasure as well.'  No, obviously, there was no pleasure taken here.

"My! You are just like a little doll." Kikyou continued motioning towards Kagome, "A peasant's doll perhaps…"

She bristled. It was the last straw.

Kagome wanted to get away from him. From her. Let those two wretches be happy by themselves.  Let them drown in their own hatred and sarcasm.

Bowing quickly, she mumbled, "Excuse me…"

She fled smoothly, quickly, down the long white halls.  As she did so, she heard the murmur, "My, Sesshoumaru-san, it certainly was easy to get ride of her…"

Yes…it certainly was…

`````````

A warrior should not say something fainthearted even casually. He should set his mind to this beforehand. Even in trifling matters the depths of one's heart can be seen. 

`````

Her actions were not normal, for Kikyou, Sesshoumaru noted to himself.  He was just surprised at how hostile the fellow doctor had become around Kagome.  It was almost as if she wanted to see the downfall of Kagome right then and there.  She wanted to see her slowly die, each witty remark, each flash of a smile—Kikyou had wanted none of this.  She had wanted Kagome dead. It was as simple as that.

It did not surprise him that Kikyou had turned so sour. She had done so before, but never had he felt such a twinge of regret for not stepping in. The words Kikyou had used were cruel, however perhaps it was not even that.  It was her tone.  The mocking and teasing quality in it added with the soprano twinge of sweetness.  He had never seen her put on such a charade before.  Usually, as far as Kikyou went, her voice was rather low.  But in that moment of time, her voice had risen into the sweetness and cheerfulness of some young Japanese girl.  And how false it had been. Yet behind the tone there was a dagger, slowly prodding into Kagome's skin, sending speckles of her red blood onto the floor.

Sesshoumaru in a way had almost hoped for Kagome to fight back, yet obviously her resilient character was subdue around him.  Although, he did have to admit she became very engrossed with the conversation about Hiroaki.  She had almost a lust in her voice—perhaps one of hatred, but nevertheless, a fire that could not be so easily extinguished.

Higurashi Kagome. Higurashi Kagome, Sesshoumaru mused, it was an interesting name.  It sang out of your mouth like a gurgling brook. Higurashi Kagome. To say that he had not thought of her nearly everyday of his life would have been a lie.  No, he had formed an ideal creature in his mind over the years.  He had imagined the way she had matured, the way her voice had changed—and she had been his only friend.

Yet now, Sesshoumaru acknowledged, things were different.  Fantasy was much different from reality— and he had the face the fact that Higurashi Kagome, his childhood friend, was working in the hospital.  Yet, how much her personality had changed. No, that was not it—thought Sesshoumaru.  It was not her who had changed, for she still had that joy for life flowing throughout her, but it was he, himself, who had changed.

How or when it had happened, he knew not. Kagome's friendly touch and words could have done nothing all those years, for without her he had changed.  This was not to say he did not like himself, no, and nor did he want everyone to like him either.  His personality was not like that, and nor, Sesshoumaru affirmed, would it ever be.  He looked down at the reports he had yet to write and extinguished all thoughts of himself, Kagome, or Kikyou out of his mind.  He would have to deal with the two later, yet now he had other priorities at hand. 

````````

When discussing things with someone, it is best to speak appropriately about whatever the subject may be. No matter how good what you are saying might be, it will dampen the conversation if it is irrelevant. 

```````

It was now close to four thirty and the daily turmoil of the hospital had somewhat wound down. The sun had turned its golden shade and was now slanting in through the blinds in a most irritating manner. Nonetheless**, **it did not botherhim.  After all, what was the point of getting peeved? What could he do about the sun?

"Suzuki-san has been brought in from emergency room, he seems to be suffering from aphasia. Make sure he drinks plenty of fluids." He directed coolly as he surveyed the chart under his glasses. "And make sure you can contact next of kin as soon as possible."

"Yes, Okuda-san!" some non-descript man said.  The glasses were too large for his face, and they kept sliding off. His hair was a mess of scraggily brown as though he had never brushed it.

Sesshoumaru watched him walk quickly down the hall in his pigeon toed fashion and then slowly began to walk in the opposite direction.  Before he left early for the day, he had one final thing to take care of.  And perhaps, perhaps, things would go as smoothly as planned. However, for some reason Sesshoumaru figured this was not going to be the case. 

Opening up the door that led to a small deck, he seated himself down and waited. 

```````

"See you tomorrow!" Kagome called to a few of the remaining nurses still on duty. Turning to Kouga who was walking down the hall with Arima and another doctor she questioned, "When do you get off?"

Kouga questioned his watch. "In about five minutes or so, but it will take me a while to get out of here."  His look was apologetic, yet hopeful.  Kagome turned her gaze to Miyazawa and raised her eyebrows, repeating the question. 

"About the same time. How about we meet in the deck where the vending machine is? I could use a Dakara."

Kagome nodded and, smiling, she bowed slightly as she walked down the hall. She too could use something to drink.  Her mouth felt dry like a barren desert.  Hurrying to the deck door, she opened it onto the golden afternoon sun shining in through the trellised grape vines.  Completely oblivious, she headed straight towards the vending machine that was now humming quietly in the corner having gone into 'chill' mode.  Kagome viewed the selections and finally deciding on a Dakara for herself, she pressed the button.  The plop of it falling through the machine could be heard. She bent down, picked it up, and promptly opened it, then took a long, refreshing sip. Not a guzzle. Just a sip that would add some wetness to her parched mouth. 

"You seem thirsty." A voice behind her said.

Turning around, she found Sesshoumaru on a wooden bench leaning against wall.  Kagome had never observed how long his limbs were.  His gaze was hard to read; it was as though he found it very amusing watching her drink a Dakara.

"You certainly are observant." Kagome said flippantly as she sipped it again.  She could feel his eyes on her, but she pretended not to notice. Maybe he would go away, for she certainly wasn't leaving. For one thing, she was supposed to meet Arima and Kouga there; and for another, it was too nice of a day to be spent inside the hospital. 

"You aren't making this easy." He growled moodily as he adjusted his position on his seat so he could observe Kagome fully.  He wanted to make sure he could make eye contact. It was always best to do that—only traitors avoided such a personal tribute. Sesshoumaru was still judging this girl.

"Was it supposed to be? You don't have to say anything. After all, Okuda-san, I am just a new nurse. Hardly worth any of your concern." Kagome gushed sarcastically. 

Sesshoumaru said nothing for a moment, as though he was planning the course that his battle would take.  Finally, as though he had decided, he stated coolly, "I am not apologizing for myself. I have done nothing wrong. I am apologizing for Kikyou's behavior."

"Don't bother, _Sesshoumaru,_ I don't want to hear this." She sneered, "You and she need no apologizes. No sympathy." Kagome stopped suddenly as though she had said something brutal and cruel.  Yet, she continued her eyes glistening slightly, "Times, things,and people have changed.  I thought I could overlook your actions and attitude, but there is no compassion to be had with you. Or her."

Heatedly she grabbed her Dakara and purse and quickly tried to make it to the glass door.  Her sanctuary from this hell. How quickly she had lost the territorial battle.  Yet, she knew she would never make it. She would never make it to the glass doors. She knew…yet, she could hope of course.

"Kagome."

How differently he spoke her name. Not just one word with all the syllables the same.  He stressed the first two. KA..gome… Yet, the way he said it, it suited her.  In a way she had never imagined. _Ka_gome.

Kagome glanced down at her right wrist behind her body, now being held by Sesshoumaru's firm grip. Not tight. Not painful.  He could control his strength.  Kagome could imagine it: a silver river coursing through his body.  Vibrating with energy.  

She forced herself to look up at him and into his eyes.  Kagome blinked quickly, was this sorrow she saw in them?

When he spoke the words, they sounded so sincere yet so distant from emotion. Would he never let anyone know him as she had done before?  Yet, despite his cool demeanor, the words he spoke were in earnest.

"I am sorry. For myself and her."

She felt loose and unstable.  He was now walking out into the middle of the deck, his grip on her hand released.  Yet, Kagome wished it were still there. It stabilized her body.  His features had now turned to one of frustration and anger.  Kagome stumbled and watched him quietly as she leaned against the hospital wall.  His words were in a succession. So fierce and so full of emotion that she had thought had long died in him.  The pristine coolness had melted away from his exterior. Yet, only temporarily.

"Hiroaki will die. It is just a matter of when and where. There is no cure for his disease.  Hope will only drive a person insane.  If you hope, you will turn into what I have become." He laughed sarcastically, "And of course, you would not like that. I am no longer the boy I was as a child. You can clearly see this and it would be in your best interest to not socialize with me. It will only bring you enemies that you know not how to fight. You, Higurashi, have much to learn."

Sesshoumaru stepped towards her and looked down at her. He towered over her, and unconsciously she pressed herself tighter against the wall. There was nothing separating them, except a small breach of air. Yet, his eyes were so bright and so full of life at this moment. Yet…so full of vagueness.  However, throughout his body radiated a feeling of utter loss and regret. Regret which only Kagome could understand.  The regret of life. 

"Sesshoum—" Kagome began hesitantly. She couldn't let it end like this. The candle was quickly blown out, the flame extinguished. The world cast into darkness and the smell of smoke binding the two.

"Oi!" Kouga snarled angrily as he opened the door. "What the hell are you doing to Kagome, Okuda?!"

"Kouga!" Kagome exclaimed suddenly. How long had he been watching, or been there?

"Nariya-san, I would rephrase such words if I were you." Sesshoumaru said savagely, his eyes narrowing.  No sign of the earlier outbreak of emotion was evident. He was Sesshoumaru; bitter and friendless. Sesshoumaru, he who could not experience joy, or love. Cold, like snow. 

"Go to hell, Okuda. I'm off work; I don't have to give you any respect. You don't give me any during work anyhow." Kouga grabbed Kagome's hand and pulled her inside the building.  He didn't release his grip until they were at the subway station. Kagome couldn't explain what had happened, despite Arima complaining about being thirsty and wanting to know what exactly happened 'out there'? Yet, could she tell him even if she knew?

Something had happened in those twenty minutes with Sesshoumaru. Kagome realized this as she was pulled along the grounds.  Somehow, the two now shared a secret. A secret that could never be told. 

AN: Dakara is a type of Japanese drink. Totemo oishii sou! 'Koto' is the Japanese harp, a very ancient musical instrument.

Okay…soooo! A bit of …well, not romance, but….tension?? ha ha ha. Okay. Hope you enjoy. Review, ne?? 


	10. Chapter 10: the transfer

Chapter 10

One week later.

It is said that much sake, self-pride and luxury are to be avoided by a samurai. There is no cause for anxiety when you are unhappy, but when you become a little elated, these three things become dangerous. Look at the human condition. It is unseemly for a person to become prideful and extravagant when things are going well. Therefore, it is better to have some unhappiness while one is still young, for is a person does not experience some bitterness, his disposition will not settle down. A person who becomes fatigued when unhappy is useless. 

_--from the second chapter of Hagakure, by Yamamoto Tsunetomo_

The flavor in his mouth was pungent yet not overly sweet. Its flavor was contenting, oddly so. It refreshed his senses, and for a few moments at least blocked out the weariness that was creeping towards his eyes. Lately, perhaps even more so, work had become unbearable. He could feel the sense of death surrounding his frame, pushing against his chest. At times he found it hard to breathe. Yet, he was the master of disguise; he would not show the faults so easily to the others. Never to Nariya Kouga, for now they were enemies. Enemies were never supposed to know the weaknesses of another.Never.

Yet…

He closed his eyes, and took off his glasses that were beginning to cause a full pain in the back of his head. Just enough to be uncomfortable, but not quite unbearable. He massaged the hallows of his eyes, and then his temples. Slow movements, slow strong movements. He stood perfectly still. The voice had just called him, called him to her. Hadn't he told her to stay away? Hadn't he told her to go along her own way? Yet, such a girl would never listen.

"Okuda-san."

He would never have admitted it, but he preferred being called by his first name. Okuda- _san _sounded like a young boy with large glasses, struggling to hold a pile of books. He turned his head, slowly, and stared at her. She was framed in a golden afternoon light. Sleep was certainly playing tricks on his perfect vision, or did she seem to glow?

He quickly crumpled the mint wrapper.

"What is it now, Higurashi?" he questioned slowly, turning his head back down, and leaning against the table. To look stoic was much better than the truth. The truth was he was tired of it all. Tired of deaths. Tired of this never-ending battle. Yet, here was Kagome, still new to the job; smiling sweetly as though she had just walked off a beach. How could she smile so sweetly? Did she really possess such strength, facing death in her own terms?

"Your tired. Here." She handed him a cup of tea, although hot, it was not scalding. The color was a warm honey, and it smelled of sesame seeds.

"I want none of your tea." He stated coolly, turning his attention to the window and the towers beyond.

"Don't be that way. You should drink it. It will do you good." She insisted, her voice becoming tense. Must it always be this way?

"Higurashi, should not you be doing your shift?" Sesshoumaru turned around, and gazed at her, his eyes firm—all trace of weariness magically disappeared.

Her eyes glared at him with an unnerving intensity. Was she accepting his challenge? She dusted off her spotless uniform as though it had formed a layer of dust. As though he was old, and weary. Old like an old, tired, wrinkled man. His presence emanated such dust. Perhaps, he was old and tired.

"You do what you want, _Sesshoumaru._" She sniffed sullenly, and placing the cup onto the desktop she quietly left the room. 

_Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru. _Twice now, she had said his name. Twice, wasn't it? She always said it the same way. With disdain, and an irritated tone. As if saying his name would end the conversation. Yet, this time had been different. There had been a twinge of regret and sadness. Kagome had not covered it up as well as she believed.

He stared at the cup of tea.  With its steam rising up from it like that from a hot bath. The pleasant golden color. The persimmon colored cup, edged in brown. Where had she found the cup? The craftsmanship was excellent. He reached out slowly, yet gently wrapped his fingers around it. Lifting it to his mouth the scent overwhelmed him. Traditional, yet comforting. He opened his mouth, and let the warm liquid drain down his throat.

``````

"Anou?? Hello??" a young voice called through the wavy glass door, "Is anyone there?"

A faint rustling could be heard, then grumbling. Finally, an old crinkled face poked out of the door. Her voice old, and worn; yet kind.

"Yes? What do you want?"

"Anou, I just came to see if—" the young man began.

"I don't want any dango. Do you sell octopus though? I need an order for next Thursday. I'm making tako-yaki." Kaede said. Her eyes glinted happily, as memories of yummy octopus filled her thoughts.

"That sounds delicious." The young man admitted, sweating slightly, "But, I came here to inquire if you still have the lower apartment free?"

Kaede blinked, and then gushed, "Oh! Yes! Come in, won't you? I was just about to make some crepes and green tea."

The young man blinked. It was an interesting combination indeed. Dabbing his head with a handkerchief, he smiled sweetly, "Sounds lovely."

And…it did.

`````

(takoyaki—octopus balls. Actually, not so bad. Dango, usually sweets…or breads and stuff. To some extent. Usually filled with red bean paste.)

(also…about the glasses. Sesshoumaru does have perfect vision, he just wears the glasses cause he is a tiny bit vain, like we all are.)

(shoudo or Shodo with a little ^ over the first 'o' is the art of Japanese calligraphy.)

_about 2 months earlier_

It was cold and wintry that day. The sky was overcast, yet the clouds were not saturated enough to be so threatening. Soon, gray bottoms would form and the city of Tokyo would turn dark and cold. The light that these clouds cast was not wholly unpleasant in his Sensei's apartment. One only needed a dim overhead lamp to see by and the rest was of the house was illuminated by this grayish white light that flooded in through the apartments large windows.

Sitting in the traditional seiza style, Sesshoumaru began to slowly and rhythmically scrape the bar of ink against the cold stone. Adding small amounts of water at a time, and finally satisfied with its deep gray color, he dipped the ornate bamboo brush into the newly formed ink. The four treasures. Paper. Ink. Ink stone. Yet, what was the fourth again? The fourth…

He tried to clear his mind, letting all of this thoughts and questions crumble like a cookie in water to the bottom of the glass. Shoudo was not difficult, but to clear ones mind was. For as soon as it was clear, one wondered if it was. Hence, new thoughts would flood one by one into his mind.

"You seem tense today, Sesshoumaru-san." An old sturdy voice said.

Tilting his head slightly he looked directly up in the eyes of his master, "Yes, it is true Zendai-sensei." His sensei's eyes were deep, and dark; like murky pools.

The rustle of fabric against the tatami mat alerted Sesshoumaru that his teacher was sitting beside him. 

"Do the eighth radical, please." His teacher commanded. 

Sesshoumaru hesitated for a moment, then, closing his eyes for an instant, then he swiftly, yet firmly in fluid stokes, painted the eighth.

"It does not seem anything so serious. On the contrary, your style seems more fluid and free." His sensei noted as he massaged his chin. "It is like the way your script was when you first came to this school. You possessed such a fluid grace. Over the years, however, you became …stiffer. Yet, now it is reappearing." A pause. The sensei mumbled to himself, as though checking off some list in his head. "That was when you were twelve, I do believe."

"Yes, sensei." He found himself replying. He had just returned from the island, and father was still fresh in his hilltop grave.

Sesshoumaru stared angrily down at his paper in hatred. So, he preformed better when she, Kagome, was around. Or at least, her thoughts clouded his mind. He was more fluid. More graceful. Why was this? 

"Whatever the cause may be, don't let it go away this time. Please, write the kanji for 'freedom' and then of 'night'. After that, continue with whatever is your pleasure."

"Yes, sensei."

Sesshoumaru looked down at his paper with scorn. Why was it that he was performing better now? Why was it that her presence brought out the best of his skills? It irked him immensely. 

He had remembered when he had first come to this school. Right after he had left from the island…and how he had wanted to capture this carefree and beautiful essence in his work. He wanted to remember the island. The people there. He wanted to remember it all. Yet…over the years, times and both he had changed. And soon, his skills slowly weakened. He was a master, of course, but he lacked no originality. It had faded inside of him, just like her presence had over the years. 

So many things had faded…and now, painfully, they were reappearing.

``````

Kagome kept her head down as she walked quickly through the hall pushing along a now empty cart. She hoped that lunch would come soon for today she was abnormally hungry. It was not even eleven and already her stomach was grumbling and gurgling in protest. Wincing, not in pain, but just out of frustration she walked along the hall, her head bent down. Yet, perhaps, she would realize later, it was always a good thing to watch where one was going. Unexpected obstacles could always prove dangerous. 

She felt her body suddenly crash into something very firm, yet not hard. Stumbling she felt and heard the wisp of air around her as she fell to the ground. Rubbing her shoulder for a moment, she had view enough to see that the other person, unlike herself, had not fallen to the cold tile ground. She cursed herself for her stupidity, and looked up suddenly when a kind, yet irritated voice said, "Here."

A hand appeared, a strong yet gentle hand, she found herself placing her own in it. It was warm, worn, but soft. Strange. Looking up, their eyes meeting as he helped her and she found herself once again falling to the ground. The fluid bright amber color was so familiar it hurt. The air swam around her. This was all unnoticed by Kagome. His surprise must have been evident, as was hers, to be sure. How could it be, she wondered, that this was him, standing in front of her?

"I-Inu Yasha?!" Kagome sputtered from the ground. She gazed at him in amazement. He certainly looked different with his hair tied back, and not wearing the apron she was accustomed to seeing. She rubbed her nose and cheeks suddenly, trying to make the sudden burn that came to them cease. 

"Kagome?!" Inu Yasha chocked suddenly, "What the hell are you doing here?!"

He lifted his hand again, and this time fully lifted her figure to an upright position.

Kagome smiled broadly, as she answered, "I work here." There was a pause, as the two summed each other up, each aware of the rosy color that had come to their cheeks. Suddenly, Kagome, who was bursting with happiness to see him, exclaimed happily as she wrapped her arms around his frame, "Its SO good to see you! I missed you!"

She held him tight, not romantically, but fondly. All the memories that the two of them had shared: the fires Uemura caused, the late nights preparing food and telling jokes, and the ever-famous flour fights. Her fondness of him all came washing back, like the lyrics to a long forgotten song. Inu Yasha was speechless for a moment; speechless with a rush of joy that he had never experience him. She had said she had missed him. Had anyone ever said that to him before, he tried to remember. No…never. Yet, she, Kagome, had missed him. And…how much he had secretly missed her presence as well? He could not describe in measurement…

He closed his eyes, and savored this one, perfect, sweet moment before he would ruin it.

"Oi! Get your hands off of me!" he snarled, not harshly, but enough to get the point across.

Her grip loosed, yet it had not completely faded. Her arms were now down by his waist, and her face looking up into his. She was smiling so sincerely. "Inu Yasha…the same as usual."

"Yeah. You haven't changed a bit." He paused, regretting what he would then say, "But…I missed you too."

Inu Yasha took one of his hands and rustled her loose hair a bit. The moment was there again—yet reality snapped the two and a few moments later he watched her who was now picking up a few bottles that had become scattered across the hall. Ah, he had missed her so much more than she would know.

"So, Inu Yasha, what are you doing here?" Kagome chirped merrily.

"I work here. Didn't you know?" he snorted as he tossed a bottle lazily to her.

"What!? You work here? Since when?!" Kagome gapped, shock coursing through her body.

"Uh…since…" he tried to remember. Days had no meaning for him lately… "Since about two months ago. About a week after you quit Pleut…"

"But why!?" Kagome gasped, "You were paid wonderfully! You were the star chef! You were moving towards your dream to own your own restaurant!"

His dream…his own secret dream which only Kagome knew…

"Kagome, stuff happened." Inu Yasha sniffed angrily, not wanting to go into the perverted details of Naraku Honda.

"But what could have happened that would have caused you to quit?! Sure, Naraku is disgusting, but he paid you good!" Kagome insisted fiercely, "But now, your working in a hospital cafeteria? Inu Yasha…" the passion faded from her voice, and only a quiet sort of sorrow remained, "Tell me…what happened…?"

"Nothing happened!" He roared angrily, flushing. "I just quit! I wasn't going anywhere! Besides, this job is only temporary."

A pause. A long pause. The jovial fondness had been cracked, yet, not damaged beyond repair.

"Lets not fight, ne?" Kagome whispered as she began to wheel the cart, "How about coffee…after dinner, about seven? I can imagine dinner will be good, after all you will cook it, ne Inu Yasha? I want you to meet a friend of mine…"

"What _kind _of friend…?" Inu Yasha inquired, his eyebrows burying together to form a scowl. He tried not to act jealous. Apparently…it didn't work. 

Kagome laughed kindly, and continued walking. "Its not that kind. Don't be envious." She teased.

"OI!!" Inu Yasha roared, "Who would be jealous of a chicken legged girl like you!?"

```````

The sun was now high in the sky, and the midday quiet had settled over the hospital. Patients were eating their lunch, and most of the hospital staff as well. Kagome, who had opted to take an early lunch today, found herself soon contented with a bowl of ramen. She still had fifteen minutes left, so she took out of her purse the latest book by Haruki Murakami. About to settle down to read it, a voice above said.

"You know, if they let the broth come to a full boil, it will never be clear."

None other than the voice of Arima Miyazawa, no doubt. Kagome looked up, smiling, and questioned, "I presume you are talking about the ramen broth, ne?"

"Yes, of course." Arima smirked as he seated himself down. Kagome noticed Kouga was still inline for the soba noodles.

"And where did you learn this information on ramen broth? Since when have you been the aficionado?" Kagome quipped amusedly, putting the novel back into her bag.

"Actually…" Arima began, "I was watching this movie last night. It was really good, it's called Tampopo." 

"Tampopo? As in dandelion?" Kagome asked curiously, wondering what dandelions and ramen had in common. As far as she could tell: nothing. 

"Un. Yeah—it's about this chick that owns a crappy ramen shop, and then this cowboy truck driver dude comes and says he can help. So they like making her find the perfect noodles, broth, her customer greetings, and such. It's really funny! I love that movie! I'll let you borrow it some time, I think you would really like it." Arima was now chuckling as he slurped his noodles. Kagome watched him, sarcasm and pity mingling with amusement on her features.

"They even tell you how to eat ramen properly!" Arima said randomly.

Kagome laughed slightly, and then waved over to Kouga who was trying to find them. Kagome was not totally unaware of the bright smile that flooded Kouga's face. This look of relief and happiness that washed through it.

"Kouga-kun!" Kagome called merrily.

If Kagome had been close enough, she would have been able to see the tears of joy twinkling in his eyes. 

"Oh—Kagome-san, did you hear?" Arima chocked suddenly as he slurped up some of his ramen.

"Eh? What?? …are you alright?" Kagome inquired hurriedly.

"Eh…" He coughed, cleared his throat, then continued, "About…who is joining…your…?" He waited in-between each word, hoping that a spark would light in Kagome's eyes in recognition. None ever came.

"Joining my…what?" Kagome questioned confusedly. One of her eyebrows rose. "What?"

"Eh! Kouga! She doesn't know!" Arima exclaimed jumping up to his friend who was nearing the table.

"EH!?" Kouga burst out, "What?! Not yet?! But…! But…! Its all over the nurses division! Even I know about it!" Kouga was now fumbling for words, while trying to submerge his pork into the ramen broth.

"What?? What is it??" Kagome hissed urgently. She hated this feeling of being left out.

"We…" Arima snorted, "Can't tell you that…"

"Even though I am really pissed off about the whole thing. You know how I feel about that jack-ass—if he weren't my sempai, I would beat the crap out of him." Kouga grumbled moodily as he began to munch on some soba noodles.

"…S-Sesshoumaru?" Kagome questioned quietly.

"What are you talking about? You are never supposed to say his first name! Trust me, he hates that!" Arima explained spastically.

"Yeah. Best just to call him Okuda." Kouga continued to grumble.

"…but, what about Sesshou—I mean, Okuda-san?" Kagome insisted.

There was a moment of silence, interrupted by the two men slurping and chewing their noodles. Kagome looked at them, and then fell back into her chair sighing in defeat.

"You…will just have to hear it from him…" Arima said mysteriously, his eyes twinkling.

``````

Human life is truly a short affair. It is better to live doing the things you like. It is foolish to live within this dream of a world seeing unpleasantness and doing only things that you do not life. But it is important never to tell this to young people as it is something that would be harmful and incorrectly understood. Personally, I like to sleep. I intend to appropriately confine myself more and more to my living quarters and pass away my life sleeping.

~ From the second chapter of Hagakure

Angrily Sesshoumaru threw a piece of crumpled paper into a mesh wire trash bin as he walked the length to the nurse's main office. The garden path was well suited for his mood. Perhaps the chilled air outside would calm him. Yet…probably not. He sincerely irritated by this sudden turn of events that his sempai had instructed him to take. The man, Sesshoumaru, reckoned was a fool. However, a wise fool at that. Of course, it was not hard to notice that in recent months he, Sesshoumaru, had become quite popular with the patients in prescribing the right medications. However, his sempai on the other hand seemed to be going the lull in his middle aged life, and was lessoning on the doctor's rank. Even the senior doctor's said so, and in turn had great hopes in his own career rising to the top. Although his sempai was an idiot, he was mischievous as the fox. He changed his shapes quickly, playing the alliance one day, and now, this hour, as the enemy…

"Sesshoumaru-san." Kikyou said to his right, hurriedly walking to keep up with his long strides, "It is not so bad. And here both of us will be higher on the ranks compared to all of them. We will be able to use our power, unlike before…"

"Fool." Sesshoumaru hissed as he stopped walking suddenly on the gravel path, "Don't you see that they are casting us aside like an unused 'go' piece. You may have been well suited for this transfer, but I on the other hand had other things in mind. You may be contented to work among them, but I on the other hand have much higher standards."

"Sesshoumaru-san…your words are that of irritableness. Come a week you will enjoy your position of dominance. You can use them to your advantage…" Kikyou suggested craftily, her tone going up slightly higher to accentuate the point. 

"Kikyou…to win alliance with them, you must first win their trust. That means one must try to be liked. I care for no such thing. Those idiots, as well as you, can think what you like." He spat angrily, as he began to walk again.

A high, false giggled came from Kikyou's throat as she jogged to keep up. "My my! You certainly are in a mood today. I wonder, what or who could have caused it…"

Sesshoumaru pretended not to hear, and briskly opened the door to the office of the nurse's quarter. 

(AN: 'Go' is a game related to chess, only the Japanese style. The strategy of this game it to surround and capture your enemy. This game can take hours, even days, or years. One misplaced piece in the game can bring the destruction. An unused piece as well can bring the same fate.)

`````````

"Now, everyone, please wait a moment or two before you go out and do your rounds." The head nurse insisted while she waved her hands in the air to capture everyone's attention. There were murmurs of questions and exclamations as the old frail nurse continued, "We will have two new doctor's who will be joining our division to help us organize for an unseen amount of time. I hope you all welcome them warmly."

The murmurs continued, until suddenly it became deathly quiet. Kagome, who had been fiddling with a ring on her pinky finger, looked up when Arima not so kindly nudged her in the ribs. At first, Kagome could not see due to the fact that another, much more taller nurse was blocking her view. A sudden lump came into her throat as she saw the beautiful cold woman that had glared at her before. Her  expression was still the same, cool and calm—as though nothing, not even introductions, got her frazzled. Kagome gulped slightly, and she heard Arima whisper to the person next to him, "Looks like she needs to get laid."

Kagome wanted to belt out laughing, but instead allowed the corners of her mouth to smirk.

"Now, everyone, I would like to introduce to you two young and brilliant doctors. Takoage Kikyou and…" She took a deep breath, and continued, "Okuda Sesshoumaru." Sesshoumaru and Kikyou as though on cue bowed deeply, and said, "Thank You. It is a pleasure."

The head nurse bowed deeply, and then the other nurses taking from her example did so as well, and bowed.

"Now!" the head nurse exclaimed, clapping her hands in a brisk manner, "Please make sure that they feel welcome. You may go on your rounds now."

Arima walked past Kagome, and turned around giving her a smile and a wink as he headed off with his stethoscope. Kagome, who had found a bottled of pills to fiddle with around in her hand smiled nervously in return. She watched Arima for a moment, before forcing herself to gaze at Sesshoumaru. How could this have happened? How could he be now working in the same department as her? She glanced at him, only to find he was now glaring unemotionally at her. Startled, she dropped the bottle of pills, and second later small white shapes danced in front of her eyes as she gazed at the floor.

"Kagome! What have you done? I expect you to pick them up and throw them away!" The head nurse sighed exasperatedly. Turning to Kikyou and Sesshoumaru, she questioned sweetly, "Takoage-san, Okuda-san…would you care for some coffee?"

"Of course. Allow me to assist you." Kikyou said sweetly.

Kagome, from where she was crouched, made a face of disgust. 'Allow me to assist you' Kagome mouthed irritably with a sour  expression on her face. Who was she kidding? She was about as fake as hotdogs. 

"Oh! What a sweet thing you are! Thank you!" the head nurse cooed mindlessly. "Kagome, do hurry."

Kagome grimaced.

She heard footsteps and then the room was quiet, and Kagome reasoned that Sesshoumaru had left with the nurses. Good, she thought, now I won't have to face him.

It seemed as though some cosmic force was slamming her and him together—and if he had been the kind Sesshoumaru she once knew it wouldn't have been so bad.  Yet Sesshoumaru now hated her, now despised her…and probably had forgotten their secret, her precious promise…

"…Are you always that graceful?" A slightly amused voice asked.

Kagome glanced over her shoulder, and said in a  mumbled voice, choosing to avoid his question, "I thought you had left with them."

"No…Kikyou was intent on bringing me coffee. That is her womanly art, and I will not disturb it." 

Kagome flushed a bit as she watched him stoop down and began to help her pick up the pills. "Don't you have a broom here?" he questioned after a moment.

"Uh…yes, somewhere." Kagome admitted. She had yet to master the workings of this place.

The two continued to pick up the white pills, now decreasing in number, in the humming silence. 

"…You know, we have tea…" Kagome ventured after a moment, finding the hush to be more uncomfortable than the talk.

"Yes, I know…but it is probably in tea bags." Sesshoumaru replied quietly, his eyes cast low at the ground, a few strands of hair falling across his face.

Kagome stopped for a moment, and gazed at him squarely in the face. He looked up, and then inquired, "What? What are you looking at?"

She flushed, and then grinned, "I take it you don't like tea bags with your tea."

"…Ah…" he murmured after a moment, his eyes once again down cast as he scanned the floor for pills, "I prefer loose tea. The teabag ruined the quality of tea—after World War II everyone wanted and desired a faster way of life. So…tea bags came into fashion, but with that also came a loss in quality."

"Really? I never knew that." Kagome mumbled in awe. Somehow, he was softer today, or at the moment. He had looked as dangerous as a porcupine's quills when he first walked in, but as soon as the presence of Kikyou had vanished he had transformed into something…more…dare she wonder, gentle?

"Yes, despite popular opinion…"Sesshoumaru began, his eyes glimmering will of sarcastic laughter, "There are reasons for my madness."

Kagome laughed gently, and wiped her eyes slightly. "No—I mean, yes." She laughed a bit longer, and then continued, "I knew you had your reasons. After all, everyone does, ne Sesshoumaru?"

He said nothing, but instead stood up suddenly and walked to the garbage can where he tossed away his handful of pills. Kagome glanced up at him a few times, was that actually a form of a smile beginning to appear? His golden eyes met hers, and quickly she bent her head and continued to search for the last of the pills. His eyes were brutal and haunting…and as though they could see her soul within her, the soul she had wanted to hide from him. Finding no remaining pills, she stood up and walked to another trashcan at the other side of the room. She could his feel his presence all around her…as though he was gently holding her body. 

Coughing, she looked at him, and smiled warmly, "Thank you for helping me pick up the pills."

"It was nothing." Perhaps it was nothing to him…yet to Kagome…

She grabbed her own stethoscope and made her way towards the entrance, or rather in this case exit. As she passed Sesshoumaru, she said, "I'll bring in loose tea tomorrow, ne?"

His face had not moved a muscle, and it was as though he had transformed into some cold statue made out of marble. Sesshoumaru said nothing as she passed; yet perhaps, Kagome reasoned, there was nothing he could say. Or, perhaps nothing he would allow himself to say. Yet, she was sure there was unspoken words waiting to fly free somewhere from within him. She was sure…

She heard the whisper of cloth and she knew that as she walked away his eyes were following her…

````````````````````

AN: OKAY, sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out. I have actually had it for about a month but reasons came up for me not being able to post. In anycase….uhm, I hope you enjoyed this chapter….^^;; Thanks so much for waiting and being supportive….

Can you guess who is moving into the apartment?

Furinkoto_neko@yahoo.com

Oh! Did you know? Angel-chan finally subtitled Meteor Garden in English! I can't WAIT until I can buy it!! I so look forward!


	11. Chapter 11: the treasure

An: well, well, well. Here we are at chapter…11, right? Sometimes I wish I could just finish this story and get it over with. But the other part of me likes it—I like the long drawn out romance. It makes it totally more worth it in the end.  Now, I have decided that this story, most unlike CoTM, whenever who does get together with whom, it will be passionate. (that is not to say they do not have an appriciation metally for one another), but it is to say that I will sincerely try to make the romance pricesely what it is: romance, unlike the skirting around the subject in my last story. Anyways, uhm…so, today…more Kouga/Arima/Kagome talking and stuff, with a dash of Inu Yasha. And for desert a lovely delicacy of Sesshoumaru, served chilled.

Forgotten Wish

Chapter 11

The light in the cafeteria was a bright yet warm glow which shone through the windows and out onto the darkened grounds below.  The cold autumn wind was beating against the windows, vibrating the panes of glass.  Yet none was heard over the humming din of people chatting idly.  It was a most animated scene that was presented as one entered into the room: people were chatting, quietly whispering, laughing merrily, and eating their food with great enthusiasm. 

Kagome, who like the others, was grinning in great satisfaction at Kouga who was presenting her with a piece of paper in his hand.  Kouga's look was one of flustered satisfaction as he looked at Kagome dreamily.  To all it seemed, except Kagome, that is, his affection towards her was well known at first glance.  No one could mistake the gleam in his eyes, and the rosy color on his cheeks.  His friendliness and amiable personality was only magnified to intensity around the girl.  Yes, it was indeed true.  Everyone knew that Nariya Kouga had fallen head over heals in love with the young nurse. 

Kouga's best and most trusted friend, as he was known, Arima Miyazawa was leaning over the table now, his elbow precariously close to Kouga's plate of soba. Arima, although jovial and very carefree in his actions and manner did possess something of the mysterious and crafty about him.  It was said that he reminded people of some God of mischievousness who had come down temporarily to visit the humans.  To describe Arima's features was vary hard to do.  His looks were that of the traditional Japanese.  Smallish eyes, and as far as his nose went it was rather shapely, yet it was his lips and his smile that drew most of his worshipers to him.  His hair, although black was bleached at the ends, and it only accentuated his most rebellious spirit.

He spoke now, chidingly to Kagome as he waved the pieces of paper idly in his hands, "So, Kagome-nechan…" he began playfully in a purposefully high voice, "Please come with us to see Kodo."

"But I have work—" Kagome began hesitantly as she glanced at a nervous and fidgety Kouga, trying to avoid starring at her in admiration.

"B-But our mutual friend, Kouga-kun, he would ever so love it if you could go! It would be a night on the town, ne? Ne, Kagome-nechan?"

"What is this 'nechan'" Kagome grumbled as she glared at the fellow nurse, "In no way would I like to be related to you."

"Aiya! You have stabbed me so painfully with your well sharpened knife!" Arima acted playfully falling back into his chair.  He lay there for a moment, slumped, as though truly impaled.

Then, suddenly, silently, as though an invisible curtain descended where he sat Arima, he now transformed into a calm and 'witty and a nonchalant mode. 

"Kagome, reconsider. After all, the tickets aren't until around Christmas…"  
She said nothing but instead looked from Arima to Kouga, and then back to Arima.

"Okay, I will go." Kagome sighed in defeat.  Then, adding happily, "They did sound so interesting though."

"Aw, that's so cute…" Arima smirked as he raised an eyebrow and gazed between Kagome and Kouga.  Kouga, who pretended not to notice, began to stare at his plate of noodles, while Kagome, on the other hand, had no idea what he was talking about.

It always had to be this way, didn't it? One of the people always had to be clueless in the relationship.  That was how things worked whether anyone liked it or not.

"But…" Kouga began, speaking for the first time, "We do have an extra ticket…"

"Oh? Really??" Kagome mused as she chewed on her soba noodles. "Hmm, that does make a problem. Who else is there to invite?"

"I could always invite my mother…" Kouga mumbled to himself.

"No one wants YOUR mother to go!" Arima roared as he slapped Kouga upside the head.

Kagome blinked, suddenly, and a smile washed over her face.

"Inu Yasha!"

"What!?" Kouga hissed. "Who?" Arima questioned.  Kouga had nearly flown out of his seat in anger.  There was no way in hell that he would ever go anywhere so cool, so wonderful, with the likes of that grease shop cook Inu Yasha.  Inu Yasha had already had the most wonderful privilege of working with her for FOUR years.  If he, the idiot, had not managed to snag her into his web, well, that was his own fault.  No pity would be given to the likes of that white haired freak.

"I was wondering when you would come!" he heard Kagome say excitedly.  He watched her in a semi-dazed state.  What, or who, was she talking to?  He, in his fury, had rather not been keeping track of the situation at hand. He cursed himself, however silently.  Turning his head slowly, he stiffened as he saw Inu Yasha standing above him.  Their eyes met, and an understanding was made.  Each was determined not to loose this battle.  Not when so much as at stake.

"Kagome, maa, sorry I am late…" he shuffled after a moment. He cast a pissed off glance at Kouga , then  seating himself stiffly down next to her he continued to glare angrily at the statue-like Kouga who was watching him with enraged eyes.

"We were just talking about you!" Kagome exclaimed brightly as she too sat down.

"Eh??" Inu Yasha chocked, "What?"

"Un! Yes, I was just about to say how wonderful it would be if you could come and see Taiko drums with us."

_WHAT?_  Kouga thought. _There is no way in hell he is coming. God damn it, NO way. Damn that bastard.___

Opening his mouth to shout in argument he was cut off as a sudden jolt of pain ran through his body coursing madly through it.  He turned his now watering eyes to Arima who was nodding in agreement at what Kagome had just said.  How passive, how calm, how unblemished his face was.  His smile was that of a fox, the mischievous fox.

"That sounds wonderful, ne, Kouga?" He questioned sweetly turning to face him.  The sound was underlying, yet evident all the same.  That sharpness, that edge. What was this man's ulterior motive?

"Uh…I don't think so…" was all he could manage to spit out.

At least, that was what he thought he said.  However when Kagome smiled warmly, "That so wonderful, Kouga-kun. Thank you so much." Kouga had a feeling he had been misunderstood. He swiveled his head sharply and glared at the expressionless Inu Yasha. The whole world was against him.  The whole god damn bloody world. 

```````

Kagome yawned quietly as she walked down the now darkened hospital halls.  There was an airy coolness that was not comforting.  The feeling of the cold made her feel even more alone and forlorn in this urban jungle.  She scratched her eyes, which were now beginning to form the beginnings of sleep, and continued to walk down the white tile hallways.  All was quiet from the nurse's quarters, and most patient's rooms were darkened.  Although, occasionally, should would happen to walk by one where NHK was still playing—giving news on the terrible economy, natural disasters, and news from abroad.  Adjusting her black leather purse somewhat on her shoulder she acknowledged that she needed a cup of coffee.  Even if the stuff out of the vending machines wasn't very tasty all she cared about was the caffeine boost that would last just long enough to get her home.

She looked ahead   to one of the many randomly scattered lobbies', which were placed around the hospital, and her eyes fell thankfully to the vending machine.  Quickening her pace as she neared the stark room littered with magazines and fake tropical plants she halted suddenly as he eyes slid to the chairs.  A head of silvery hair was placed there, and one long lean arm was sprawled against the back, hanging limply.  Kagome felt her body began to turn into knots as she silently acknowledged that it was Sesshoumaru she was looking at.  Kagome reasoned that she could always turn around and head to another lobby, but that would be too much of an inconvenience for her, after all, this one was closest to the exit near the subway station.  Yet…so much had happened today, so very much.  It seemed that double the amount of patients had come into emergency, and a few of them very serious cases at that.  To say that the nurse's quarter had been calm would have been the understatement of the year.  She didn't know how she had managed, but some how she had handled the stress and was able to hold on tightly to her nerves.  Thankfully Sesshoumaru had been somewhat absent during the day so she did not have to be aware of his icy stares and mocking comments.

"Is my hair interesting to look at?  You do seem so engrossed…"

He had not moved, not even a centimeter.  Sesshoumaru remained so perfectly still, yet the whole time he had been aware of her presence.  So, it seemed, there was no avoiding the doctor-in training.  Heaving a breathe, and grabbing every ounce of sociability in her body she said breezily, "Yes, actually.  A very unusual color."

Kagome made her way to the vending machine and while she fished into her purse for some 100-yen pieces she asked unconsciously, "Do you get that from your mother or fathers side of the family?"

"My father's." He said coldly.  His fingers twitched and then he moved his arm so it now lay in his lap (as he switched hands on the teacup that was placed in it).

"I see…" Kagome mumbled, all of a sudden feeling extremely stupid and inconsiderate about asking such a question.  To pry into Sesshoumaru's life always seemed to make her be pushed farther and farther away from the man.  It was as though he wanted to the whole world to be distanced from him.  Yet, even with all his wisdom and witty remarks, could not he see that this was not possible?

"It's alright." His voice said coolly.  Not coldly, no, not coldly.  Kagome faced him and studied his expression.  It was one of utter remorse and loss, but not anger.  No, not anger.  His eyes were soft yet they shimmered in the lamplight with a melancholy sadness—a sorrow that she reasoned she could never understand however much she may hope.

"I see…" was all she could manage to say.  What else could she say to save herself from this most awkward situation indeed?  She could say nothing; and nothing at all could be said.  He would want no compassion and no pity—and it was probably best not to say anything substantial at all.

Opening her heated UCC coffee she sipped it for a time, watching him; and waiting.  Perhaps, if she stayed long enough, he would not want to talk to her and she could leave in peace.  After all her nice, soft and comfy futon did seem rather tempting at the moment.

"I wonder…" Sesshoumaru whispered quietly as though to himself. Kagome's head shot up as she made her way closer to him, her former intentions quite forgotten as she moved quietly towards the seated man.  His figured reeked of regret and dissatisfaction, not only in his life and work, but also in other things that she could only guess.

"…You wonder…what?" she found herself whispering quietly.

He adjusted his body a bit, and looked down at his hands raised in front of his face.  It was as though he was memorizing every bit of them, every ounce of skin, every crease—he was remembering it all.

"I wonder…" He began again, "…If all this dream is worth it.  …If any of this is worth it…"

His expression grimaced slightly as a scowl was slowly and painstakingly etched onto his face.  Kagome looked at him trying to ignore this creeping feeling of embarrassment that was present in her body.  He was saying something very close, very personal, and few people, she was sure, had heard it. Sesshoumaru slowly lowered his hands as though he was satisfied and dismissed them.

"…Sesshoumaru…" Kagome began quietly, slowly.

"Why am I even bothering talking to you?  You, who have not even experienced pain as I have.  You are still naïve…painfully naïve, Kagome…" he hissed venomously.

Why was it that it always that when serious conversations took place they would switch their relationship—it was no longer Okuda-_san _and Higurashi-_san_…now it was Kagome and Sesshoumaru.  And they spoke the names so quietly and softly as though it was some crime even to utter the words. Yet, whatever the reason, the two found it comfortable…as though speaking the names was some secret bond that they held…a bond that could never be broken, despite their 'professional relationships.'

"I may be naïve…" Kagome began softly.  His words—this day, everything came crashing down on her. Yes, nevertheless, what he had said was true. She was naïve…and young…and yes, painfully so.  But anger and frustration overrode all such emotions as her voice hardened, and her lips formed the words, "…but I am not ignorant."

The hum of the lights above, the machine next to them, and maybe everything seemed to yell angrily in their ears as silence overwhelmed them.

"…Well done…" Sesshoumaru smirked studying Kagome's face, a spark lit in his eyes, "…well done indeed…"

Kagome, despite her emotions, grinned as she met Sesshoumaru's eyes. There was an sentiment, a strange, desperate, yet hopeful emotion.

"…Since I have not seen you…" he paused as though purposefully halting his sentence.

"What…?" Kagome questioned kindly trying to smile, feeling sorrow beginning to bear down her soul. 

His movement, his body, his soul was so quick—she would die one day trying to catch up.   In the next moment he was standing above her gazing down at the floor, his body taught and vibrating with anger.

"My father died—and when he did so things changed.  My family was looked down upon, and it was not until then that I heard the truth about him.  He had an affair—and a son, a son that he would never acknowledge.  My fathers' memory was marred forever by this news—yet my dream was to be a doctor, to save other children's fathers…unlike how I could do before…as a child I held no power. I was worthless. " He paused, scowled down at the floor, then giving a sidelong glance to Kagome, he continued, "…I question whether or not this is worth it…to see death as I have…to be able to do nothing…"

His body tightened again as though trying to fight off this searing anger that was pulsating through it.

"Sesshoumaru, don't say that!" Kagome insisted standing up suddenly rushing toward him.  How could he say that? He, who possessed such strength and such hidden compassion.  He, who she had secretly loved as a child… he, who would always be there. "You…!" she began trying to find words.  Trying to convey to him that he was not alone in his struggle.  No one was alone as they reasonably conceived.

Sesshoumaru watched her warily as she made his way towards him.  Facing her, he stepped near her frame as he leaned forward so as their faces were nearly touching.  Lifting his hand he ran his fingers down her cheek, rather amused by her astonished expression.  He gazed at her sincerely, questioning as he held her close, whispering in her ear, "I wonder Kagome…what did you dream of all these years…? What is your forgotten wish…?"

Stepping away he studied the girl who was standing by him, staring at the floor.  It was not until he had allowed himself to break away from her figure that he realized how close he had been.  How close in reality the two had been.  Why, and how did that happen? What had been the emotion that was present? 

How much Kagome wanted to tell him she had always dreamed of them being married, and how all through her life up until now she had secretly hoped…secretly dreamed…He had been her comfort throughout life: whenever she was lonely or hurt.  His memory and promise had always remained clear in her mind, like a mother whispering words of happiness to her daughter.  His words had always been there soothing her soul. His presence had never been forgotten.  

It had been for some time now that a figure was shrouded in the shadows of the hallway, the eyes glinting with a dark light. The expression the person wore was one of calm anger—a deadly anger.  An anger that one could only understand in battle.  She was like a tiger or panther slowly waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike.  It was not until now, at this moment, that the figure stepped coolly out of the shadows, wearing so expertly the mask of indifference.

The voice was cool and soft, but most importantly collected.  In the tones there was displayed none of the anger and hatred which she obviously was caring within her.

"Sesshoumaru?" the voice called, and then a pause, the sound of footsteps, and then as she emerged from the depths of the hospital, it continued smoothly, "Ah, there you are."

Sesshoumaru regarded the wench warily his amber eyes narrowing ever so slightly.   His whole body straightened up and the usual cool, calm, and collected Okuda Sesshoumaru remained.  How easily he could play the game, Kagome thought.

"Kikyou…what are you doing here?"  Like needles.  The voice was millions of needles gently poking her soft skin.

"Why, we were going to go home together, ne?" Kikyou said simply, a smirk residing on her beautiful lips.  Kagome watched her in a mixture between horror and astonishment.  She could feel Kikyou's eyes bearing down on her body, slowly applying the needed pressure.

"I said nothing of the sort." Sesshoumaru scoffed as he walked to his satchel placed on a chair, and put his thermos of green tea into its dark pockets.

"Well, its no matter.  Will you walk me to the subway station?"

There was a silence—a long uncomfortable silence.

"We are finished, are we not?" he inquired turning his eyes towards Kagome who had suddenly shrunk into the shadows.

Not saying a word Sesshoumaru slung his bag over his shoulder, and walked towards Kikyou.  Kagome watched him walk away silently.  Before he was just about to turn the corner he called behind him, "Good night, _Kagome._"

"Good night…"

An: Wa ha ha ha. Well, nothing really happened, now did it? Well, it sort of did. Next chapter: Kikyou and Kagome have a confrontation—along with other circumstances which draw two people closer together. Bah—anyways, what did yo think of this chapter? Yes, Sesshoumaru was funky, particularly at the end with Kikyou, but that is the way it has to be—so deal. Thanks for beta-reading Julie, and uhm please read and reviews, ne?  furinkoto_neko@yahoo.com

PS: Sesshomaru likes his green tea! Wa ha ha ha!


	12. Chapter 12: the temptation

Forgotten Wish

Chapter 12

Master Ittei said, "Whatever one prays for will be granted. Long ago there were no matsutake mushrooms in our province. Some men who saw them in the Kamigata area prayed that they might grow here, and nowadays they are growing all over in Kitayama.  In the future I would like to have Japanese cypresses grow in our province.  As this is something that everyone desires, I predict it for the future. This being so, everyone should pray for it."

Sesshoumaru found it hard to fall asleep that night.  His futon seemed to have been stuffed with straw and his pillow was damp and filled with a sweat that drenched over his body.  At times he found the blanket too binding in its heat, while at other times he could not live without its warmth.  As he lay there tossing and turning his eyes remained on the sky, which he could see through the nearby window drenched in a transparent silk.  The moon watched him in return, slowly moving farther and farther away from him as the night weakened.  It was not until late at night, or perhaps the wee hours of the dawn, that sleep finally settled restlessly onto his frame.  When he awoke he felt as though he had only received about a minute of sleep in the whole time period.  The stainless steel clock by his futon was now beeping mindlessly at him in an effort to drag him from slumber.  Pressing the button irritably he fell back down onto the futon one hand sprawled over his face, his eyes narrowing slightly as he gazed up at his ceiling, now gray in dawns light.

She had been with him that night—both while he was unconscious and irritably awake.  She looked at him, a clear and pristine beauty radiating through her deep and large blue eyes.  They shimmered happily, their depths highlighted with the palest of silver streaks that reminded him of the moon washing daintily over some calm lake.  It was only then, on that night, the night of the full moon, that he realized how beautiful Higurashi Kagome really was.  Never before had he noticed her figure and the curves that it bestowed, the perfect graceful proportion, the long smooth unblemished skin…The way her hair fell dramatically over her shoulder when she knelt down to tend caringly to a patient. The long quality of her fingers and the gentle touch which the blessed received.  The smile that brought her face to light and it glowed with strength and warmth, the quirky expressions, and laughter that reminded him of the pleasant song of some unknown bird.  Never before had he observed such a thing…

The expression he had received from her the night before was imprinted in his mind, and try, he could not escape the questioning in her eyes.  The questioning that laid there for him—and curse it, he had known its meaning from the beginning.  The dark indigo color had questioned him since their first encounter, and he had chosento ignore it.  He had pushed her away like everyone else in his life…and damn it he knew this fact was unavoidable. Yet, the expression in her eyes had been so hard to read at that moment in which his fingers dared to touch her cheek.  How hard and clouded her eyes had been—a reaction he had never expected.  No fear lay in their dark depths, no, none at all. 

He grimaced slightly as he hoisted himself out of the bed and shuffled quietly over to a desk in the hallway.  Speaking into the receiver in a very dignified voice he said, "Yes, this is Okuda Sesshoumaru. Please tell the staff I will not be into today."

The nurse told him that she would do as such, and a moment later Sesshoumaru lifted his eyes as he gazed down the dark and lonely hallway in his apartment.  He sighed silently, and walked into his organized office.  The papers were neatly placed into shelves, and not a speck of dust was noticeable in the morning light.  He shut the blinds and fell back into the large office chair, his eyes closed. In his hands her fingered a piece of silver which had been with in since she had been left behind that first time…

````

People had adored her all her life.  And, she reflected, for perfectly good reasons.  Her beauty, her kindness, her determined will.  For this reason she had never lost, nor was she planning on losing now.  Lighting a sleek cigarette she inhaled deeply and let the beautiful feeling of the smoke fill her lungs.  Exhaling she gingerly sat down on a park bench and wrapped her leather coat around her protectively. A few people passed and, she noted more than a few men gave her second glances.  She smirked silently to herself and returned the stares with equal glances of admiration.  Then, leaning her head back over the chair, she gazed up at the illuminated sky and thought earnestly about the task at hand.

This girl, Higurashi Kagome, she was indeed a large obstacle at that.  And, she, as well, would have to play her cards extremely craftily if she did not want to find them dropping one by one to the table.  Something had to be done.  Nothing so drastic as to kill or permanently damage the girl, but something just enough to pop that bubble of cheerful ambition and calm familiarity with her beloved.

At first she had reasoned that Kagome was an idiot nurse like most of the others.  Yet the girl was more devious than she appeared to be—_accidentally_ bumping into him in the lobby, spilling materials and forcing him to help her—yes the girl was smart. And if the two had not been enemies she would have very much liked to be friends with her.  Her eyes narrowed and her long lashes fell against her pale cheeks and small line of hatred formed in her mouth shattering her perfect beauty.  There was no time for friends, after all; everything's fair in love and war.

Inhaling on the sweet intoxicating scent of the cigarette she promptly stood up and walked across the park to her apartment building, conveniently located across the street from the unsuspecting girl.  Ah, what a treasure it was.  Nothing Higurashi did would go unnoticed from her surveillance. As she breezily walked past the keepers door she heard the middle aged woman call, "Good morning Takoage-san!"

She made no reply, but instead quickly continued up the flight of stairs.                                                   

`````

It was dark outside in Tokyo, a most unearthly hour indeed. Even Shinjuku for a period of a half an hour or so seemed to have gone deathly quiet.  Inu Yasha sat at a small bar and contemplated his cup of sake.  The flavor was excellent and the after taste not unpleasant—he would have to inquire about what brand they used.  It had a lighter flavor than Shou Chiku Bai, but a more pungent aroma than Hakusan.  Yet, despite the excellent quality of the Sake his thoughts were on other things and more particularly other people.

All of a sudden the girl Kagome had flown like a bird back into his life, but could he live with the secret which he now knew of her?  Should he reveal that she was being secretly watched and taken pictures of?  Should he tell her that Naraku was after her for more than just her great waitress skills?  He shook his head and downed the cup and poured himself another.  He sighed once again and slumped against the counter top—actually, he couldn't possibly care less about Naraku because if that bastard even touched Kagome he would get it.  Ten years and counting of Judo and Karate would not be put to waste on such a scum. Yet it was Kagome that he found so perplexing and confusing against the quiet slumber of the city.  Had she truly been happy to see him, or was it just a nicely preformed play?  Never could he remember anyone showing such happiness and warmth towards his being and it struck him as strange that anyone would like him so much. Who could like him so much? Obviously…she could. He also found it bizarre that he had come to care for her as much as he had. The emotions he felt for her overwhelmed him with a surprise and an unnerving problem that he had never thought possible.  Thinking about her just made him feel unsure and weak—a feeling he at all times tried to avoid.

Yet the dreams he had been having recently seemed…

He shook his head again. He would not even go down that path! It embarrassed the hell out of him just to think of them…

He drained the Sake and threw a few hundred yen onto the counter and left promptly.  The thought of inquiring about the brand completely forgotten. 

But, he resolved, something soon would have to be done about it…and it was not the Sake…

``````

A man was seen standing, or rather, leaning, against a great giant oak tree that rested at the edge of the hospital lawn.  Only few people saw him, he was the type person that people preferred not to see. Eye contact might be dangerous—no matter how handsome he was.  His features were profound with delicate lips and heavily lashed eyes.  Dressed all in black leather and his dark curled hair tied behind his ears he resembled something unreal, unearthly.  The man was like a dark angel of heaven—yet, the gentleman resembled the devil in his actions and manner. Yes, perhaps people could say that he was the devil.  Most people who knew him were aware that he was Satan in the flesh, and perhaps not wholly in metaphor. 

        Curling his lips into a sinister smile his eyes were alit with mischievous glint as they followed a figure walk across the grounds.  Taking out of his pocket a sleek stainless steel container he took out a slim cigarette and lit it, his eyes never leaving the moving mark.  The smoke hung around him like a blanket, his lips still curled and a slight groan escaped his lips.  His voice was smooth and charming with a masculine deepness as silky as chocolate.  Sneering he chuckled, "…I will get you…"

And let it be known that Naraku Honda always got what he desired. No matter what

````````

It was Kagome's day off and strangely; surprisingly she was not enjoying herself.  Her life felt strange and lonely when not at the hospital—she could distract herself from these emotions there. By the time she got home most nights she would sink into a deep sleep.  Yet, the head nurse had insisted fervently.  And so here she found herself sitting at some coffee shop idly twirling the spoon in her hand.  Gazing pensively at a book she had plucked from her shelf at home, she found it not so tempting as it had once seemed.  The day was a strange one…Tokyo was peculiarly quiet and devoid of emotion.  The sky was a grim white wash threatening soon the clouds that would roll over the city. The autumn leaves had almost finished their show for the year, yet a few still remained obstinately.  Sipping her coffee she placed about 500 yen on the table and walked out.  The book remained left on the table waiting for some new keeper.

        She didn't exactly know where she was going.  It had been a while since she had wandered around Tokyo…Walking down the steps into the electrically lit subway platform she got on the train wondering where her destination was. Perhaps wherever she was going was fate.  Kagome stared blankly at her reflection in the window across from her.  Her features didn't even register her memory; instead she just seemed to find herself gazing at nothing. A nobody…

        It was bothering her.  It was like some sort of hushed whisper always in her ear…Yesterday had been so strange, and at the same time so frightening and emotion provoking…

. . . . . . . . . . .

"Morning Kagome." Arima waved breezily as he passed her in the hall.  Nodding and smiling warmly she had continued on her way until she ran into Ito at the end of the hall.  Ito looked rather worried and nervous.  She had approached her with great caution trying to arrange her features in a sympathetic manner.

"Kagome-chan, there you are." She began skipping all formalities.

"What's wrong Ito-san?" she questioned touching her shoulders.

"Takoage-san nearly bit my head off…apparently Okuda-san isn't here today…and…" The young weak girl paused and gulped for a moment her eyes darting around like a deer's.

"What?  What is it?" Kagome whispered while at the same time wondering where Sesshoumaru was.  He was never one to miss work. Never.  In that respect they were the same.  Their job was their life and their life was their job.

"…She asked for you…" Ito sighed reluctantly.

"What..? Me…?" Kagome questioned confusedly, "But…why…"

"I don't know.  But she said meet her in the storage room." Ito said fearfully, "Do be careful, ne, Kagome?  I have heard she can have a terrible temper."

"Yes.." Kagome whispered to herself.  She could imagine Takoage Kikyou very pissed—and it was a scary thought.  It was a damn scary thought. 

"But why the storage room?" Ito persisted. "Are you two on bad terms?"

"Well…" Kagome began nervously trying to skirt around the subject, "Uh, you could say that."

There was a long silence each wrapped up in their own thoughts.

"Well, I better go. Could you take over my round for me?" Kagome asked snapping out of her daze.

"Oh! Of course." Ito nodded and taking the tray she walked hurriedly down the hall.  Kagome watched her go for a moment her eyebrows forming a  question for Kikyou's purpose in this meeting.  Yet, more so, it was Sesshoumaru's absence that worried her.  What was this sickly apprehensive feeling she felt?

The room was dark and the air cool and sharp and scented with chemicals and cotton balls.  She opened the door slowly and quickly taking one last glance she slipped into the space.  It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the darkness and as she did so the picture slowly came into focus.  She stood there, Takoage Kikyou, her body outlined in the rays of light that poured in through a few bent screens of the shade.  Her eyes were dark and dangerous, ready for anything.  As she moved towards Kagome in that lean and graceful way, her lips moved to form the words, "Higurashi…"

"You wanted to see me, Takoage-san?" Kagome questioned briskly feeling suddenly unsure.  If the head nurse found out that she was not on duty she would get it.

"Yes…I did. My My, how clever." She whispered venomously.

"Takoage-san, just get it over with, okay? I have got to go back on duty." Kagome sighed crossing her arms in an attempt to stop whatever this on coming battle was.  Already she could taste her own defeat.

"Get right to business." Kikyou nodded coolly fingering the cold metal bookcase.

"Or whatever it is you want to talk about." Kagome scoffed glaring at her.

Kikyou heaved a great sigh and then she whispered so low that one could hardly hear it in normal circumstances. Yet it came out crystal clear above the quiet cold quality of the room.

"I will not lose to you…"

Kagome felt all barriers shatter. "What?"  What was this woman talking about?

"I cannot loose to the likes of you.  An idiot girl, and a nurse, no doubt.  Sesshoumaru may have taken an interest in you …but rest assured it is only temporary.  I will make sure of this…"

"I don't know what you're talking about—" Kagome began after a moment.  Kikyou's eyes pierced her soul and stabbed at it mercilessly.  Sesshoumaru's face appeared in front of her. His beautiful, terrible, emotionless face.   He spoke her name but soon he faded away and only Kikyou remained.  How much she wanted to cry.

"You are clever Higurashi.  More clever than I gave you credit for…_accidentally _bumping into him in lobbies, making him help you with items you so 'conveniently' drop…"  Kikyou moved closer to her now, her eyes as hard as steel. "Commendable.  But only in the lowest of people …which is what you are. The lowest of the low."

"I'm sorry but…" Kagome began again. She could flee so easily, one turn of the handle and she would be free from his hell forever.

"Be quiet." Kikyou hissed, "Things will continue on as usual we will make no scene. Sesshoumaru will never know we had this conversation. But…remember that he is mine, and even if he is temporarily yours he will soon loose his childish interest in you." 

They were close now and Kikyou's hand reached to the door handle.  She turned it quickly and Kagome found herself stumbling back into the bright hallway.  Her last words slashed painfully through her body, "You can be sure of this…"

The change was praise worthy.  An invisible light was switched and there she was: Takoage Kikyou, kind, helpful, loved by all.

"Ah! Higurashi-san thank you for helping me find the box of gloves!" Kikyou smiled sweetly bowing deeply.  The smile was so bright and full of life, so kind, so friendly, and so sincere.  It was disgusting. Kagome stared at her in horror for a moment, bowed shallowly and quickly walked away.  She felt her body begin to tremble and things began to become out of focus around the edges, and the sinking feeling in her stomach could not have been good.  As soon as the head nurse had seen her condition she had insisted she take the next three days off.  And so, she left soon after…

`````

Being superior to others is nothing other than having people talk about your affairs and listening to their opinions.  The general run of people settle for their own opinions and thus never excel.  Having a discussion with a person is one step in excelling him. A certain person discussed with me the written materials at the clan office. He is better than someone like me in writing and researching. In seeking correction from others, you excel him. ~ From the first chapter of Hagakure by Yamamoto Tsunetomo

. . . . .

Sesshoumaru focused his breathing until it was barely audible above the deadly silence of his apartment.  Lifting his worn bamboo brush he held it for a moment above the fine parchment.  Lowering it carefully he fluidly wrote out the character for 'winter Camilla' in faint wispy strokes.  Calligraphy represented not only the artist but the feeling and emotion as well.  The Camilla, dimly seen amongst the snow and fog of December, its beauty straining to be seen. Was he perhaps like that? No, he was the opposite—he wanted to melt into the flawless expanse of white.  Nevertheless, there she was, the Camilla, her blood red color staining all which he had worked so hard to achive.  Yet, as he studied it he found it unsatisfying and placed it on the other side of the low table.  Licking his lips he closed his eyes once again—yet, nothing came.  No inspiration, not even an inner peace.  He felt anxious and edgy as though something catastrophic had happened in his two-day absence.  The hospital could run without him, his presence was not so grand as he wished.  His wish was long forgotten.   

It turns into spring…

Blinking suddenly as he opened his eyes he lowered them to the table as he tried to remember where those words had come from.  Like a bubble they had surfaced to the top. It took him a moment but suddenly the memory came rushing back to him like a warm breeze he had never to experience.

What does snow turn into when it melts? His mother had asked one hoary winter day in their small Tokyo apartment.

And how he had answered foolishly and irrationally, Why mother that's simple.  It turns into water.

His mother had smiled softly, gently, sadly.  Her eyes glistened, as she whispered, No, Sesshoumaru.  When snow melts it turns into spring…as it will every year…

What if spring never comes?

Spring will always come.  It may be late…but it will always come…

Spring will always come.  He let his mind nibble on that for a moment then quickly he snatched a fresh piece of parchment and wrote out in a fluid melting fashion, 'winter snow melts into spring.' Then standing up swiftly he grabbed a coat and his smooth streamline black leather satchel and walked out into the hallway.  He had to get out; the memories were tightening their grip too soon, too fast, too painfully. 

````

Inu Yasha found himself looking for Kagome that afternoon for an anxious reason he could not quite understand.  He felt uneasy and unsure, as though something terrible were about to snatch her away.  Even more so than that, he missed her.  Leaving work as soon as dinner had been served he walked around the hospital for at least three quarters of an hour, yet, Kagome could not be found.  Finally he asked the head nurse who explained to him in a most simple manner that 'Higurashi had been given a break of three days from work.'

He had walked out in a huff, feeling number one: like an idiot, and number two: his worry increased.  He hadn't talked to her for about four or five days, and during that time he had come to the decision that he must and had to tell her about Naraku's intentions.  There was nothing Naraku Honda couldn't pull off, with his connections, his friends, his money and his looks -- the guy as might as well be God.  If Naraku Honda wanted something, it was plain and simple: He got it. 

Kagome, Inu Yasha knew, was not the typical weak and feeble Japanese girl who dreamed off some handsome man to make her his wife so she could cook her life away. No, Kagome was better than that.  Kagome had power, Kagome was not afraid of life or death.  And even with her physical strength, which rivaled many other women, she was no match for the overpowering muscles (exercised, he was sure, everyday) of Naraku.

Grumbling angrily at himself and Kagome he set off towards the subway station hoping to make it there before it got too dark.   How he knew she was in danger he hadn't a clue…but one thing was for sure even if she wasn't: he wanted, and needed to see her.  He needed to know she was protected.

``````

The price must have been right, Naraku noted to himself.  The private eye had done an extraordinary job—finding out where she worked, how much she earned, whom her family was, where they lived, their yearly income, where she lived, her friends, her co-workers, that she came in the back way to the apartment, her telephone number, her bra size, and even his treasured pictures of her.  And now the time had come.  Now he wanted to touch her flawless skin and feel her writhe beneath his body.  He wanted to hear her cry and scream out in pain.  He wanted her—and now the time had finally come.  Now he would finally get his treasured jewel. His beautiful, untouched, jewel. 

Glancing down at his watch he began to take off his black tie and tucked it carefully into his pocket.  Unbuttoning his shirt somewhat he looked towards the entrance to the alley about a block away from the apartment. He could hear her light steady footsteps against the ground and smirking he leaned against the wall clutching the shadows that he treasured so faithfully.  Hopefully, he found himself thinking; after what was to take place in the passageway he could take her home and really have his fun.  No one would miss the girl—no one.  He would make sure of that.

She was about five feet away and hoisting himself up he ran his hand through his hair and said, "Higurashi."

Ah, it aroused him even more when she was scared.  Her breathing had become fast and shallow and her eyes were wide in fear.  She, he even noted, had begun to shiver.  Her weakness excited him to no end.  Kagome would certainly prove a wise investment—a good wise investment… Smirking he walked towards the girl finding his voice most luxurious in the alley.

"Why you do seem surprised."

"W-What are you doing here, Honda?" she whispered quietly.  Ah, how cute, the poor thing could not speak properly.

"I do wish you would call me Naraku, it suits me so much better. Don't you agree?"

"I have to go."

"Ah, Ah, Ah. Not so fast. You, my dear, will not be going anywhere until I tell you to."  The chase was on.  Yet, she like a crippled deer would not go far.  And he, the wolf, would claim his juicy present. She was all his now. Her movements were fluid and graceful, and if he had not been prepared for this flight he knew he would have lost her.  Yet stepping quickly he managed to grab the retreating wrist.  He could never play gentle, and he wasn't planning on it starting with such an easily bruised morsel as this.

Yanking her close to his body he stared down at her face for a moment.  It was breathtakingly beautiful, even in filtered light of the alley.  Tears were beginning to form, and it caused a rush of power to surge through his body, for he knew he had ( and would continue to ) cause those tears for years to come.  His eyes were hard and cold as he spoke the words into Kagome's ear.

"Now, listen.  You will do what I say." He paused and added manically, "Understand?"

A sob echoed quietly through the night but he brutally cut it off as he plunged violently into her mouth.  How sweet it tasted with just a hint of saltiness caused by the woman's tears.  Slamming her against the nearby brick wall and holding her arms with his hands he continued to search and explore the crevices and workings of this angels body.  He wanted even his saliva to be forever in her body.  He wanted to feel himself inside the untouched girl. She squirmed and tried to get away but he would have none of that. He felt her chest press against his own; in an effort to get away—and smirking again he promised to enjoy this present to the fullest potential.  Biting her lip savagely he pulled away, his teeth stained with her blood.

The girl had only increased in beauty now as tears like a river from hell flooded down her cheeks mingling with the blood that splashed against her snow-white shirt.  Naraku wanted to mar her like the blood on the pristine garment. He wanted to enjoy this. And oh, indeed he was. Soon in that terrible beautiful moment she would be his.  She was like ambrosia, beautiful ambrosia which only the blessed could drink so greedily as him.  Plunging again into her mouth with one hand still holding her body he began to rip at her shirt and move his lips downwards.  He wanted to taste everything on her. He wanted to taunt it, suck it, hold it, squeeze it—he wanted her.  Yet like a good gourmet he would save the best for last.  Her sobs only excited him as he ran his lips down the nape of her long neck and finally down the collarbone and into the valley between her breasts.  Wrapping his fingers around the bare skin he experimented for a time.

Smirking to himself he whispered huskily, "You know, Kagome, you can prove none of this. Don't even try."

Returning to her mouth with one hand still freely roaming her chest he drank her honey.  It was as he had imagined—like the fountain of youth this girl was untouched by men, and never had he tasted such a finer year.

Now sobbing and only trying to struggle away every now and then Kagome could not find any words.  Instead tears continued to roll down her face.  It was over.

…everything that mattered….

~~~~~~~~~

An: heh heh heh, little steamy there! E-mail me, and please review! *is obsessed with reviews*

Furinkoto_neko@yahoo.com

Thanks Adi for beta-reading this!

  



	13. Chapter 13: the whispers

Forgotten Wish

Chapter 13

Kagome was aware of him now beginning to unzip her skirt. How he managed that she wasn't quite sure for his tongue was still choking her throat as he explored her mouth and bit angrily on her lower lip pausing every now and then to suck it tenderly. She could find no more tears to cry and she could find no more strength. Gathering all remaining hope she had in her body she angrily bit down on his lip and finding her voice she screamed out as loud as she could.

The pain to her cheek was hard and painful as she realized Naraku had slapped her. His voice was strained and low as he whispered, "I would not do such things if I were you."

Kagome forced herself to look at the man, the very beautiful yet disgusting man. "Why…?" she began.

The only response that came was the sensation of him tightening his hold on her wrists and him once again entering her mouth.

``````

It was only a second at most, in which she had cried out in help. The streets were then quiet again, the deathly quiet of midnight. Inu Yasha quickened his step, and then, finding that too slow broke out into a run. The alleyways blurred by him, the trashcans, undergrowth, garbage, the fresh rain still glistening on the pavement. He paused suddenly and turning slightly he noticed a bit of movement down the alley he was now passing. It was just slight, so very slight, but nevertheless it was there. Turing down the way he approached quietly staring ahead into the utter darkness. His ears picked up heavy breathing and then after a moment a hushed sob. Furrowing his brows together he approached closer until the figure was recognizable. He paused only a second as he recognized the slim figure. Rushing forward he withdrew from his pocket a knife and switched open the blade…

`````

Kagome opened her eyes slowly. Everything was a blur for a second but slowly into came into focus. Groaning slightly she twitched her hands which were now carefully covered in gauze. She felt as if she had been bruised all over, as though she was some giant black and blue raisin. Blinking at the bright light she tried to find her voice which was now hidden somewhere inside her body. As she moved her lips to form a word she winced in pain slightly for her lips were rather soar. 

"Wha..t…happ…ened…?"

Footsteps could be heard coming closer to her and the bed jostled as weight was added. Moving her eyes somewhat she found herself gazing into deep and dark golden orbs. His long silver hair fell like a curtain around her, a beautiful silver curtain. She felt a flood of relief seeing Inu Yasha's face and not the one that she had found in the dark labyrinth of her mind. Yet, Inu Yasha's face displayed such emotion that she could never imagine—a mixture between relief and anger. His eyes glistened brightly with a sorrow that she never knew he held.

The curtain rose and Inu Yasha slowly sat up and gazed down at her in a matter-a-fact way. His voice sounded foreign, so deep and mature as though suddenly the boy had faced reality for once.

"Naraku nearly raped you. I called 'Sango', she will be here soon." Inu Yasha replied.

Kagome moved her arms to support her body as she tried to sit up. Inu Yasha leaned forward to assist her but Kagome found herself mumbling, "I'm alright. I can do it."

She did not mean to reject him—she just felt so frightened now. She felt so unsure. 

Outside in the darkness a train passed blowing its lonely whistle. The rhythmic sounds of the tracks were comforting in the small apartment.

"How did you know to call Sango?" Kagome questioned gently, her memory still blurry and only scattered chunks remaining.

"You told me…while I was carrying you up here." He said rather embarrassed as a pale pink flush came across his face. "You woke from unconsciousness for a moment…"

There was a long moment of silence before Kagome asked quietly, "…did he…?"

"No." he answered firmly his voice strong and vibrating with a passionate anger. "I stopped him just in time. That asshole will take at least two months to recover to what I did to him…" His fists clenched noticeably and his face was contorted with hatred.

Kagome studied his face for a moment before bowing her head slightly as she whispered, "Thank you…I'm sorry I couldn't…keep him away…"

"Kagome!" Inu Yasha barked loudly, "It's not your fault! Naraku was much stronger than you—no girl could have had much of a chance with him. Don't ever think it's your fault!" He continued to yell in earnest. His face was serious and stoic. She felt the warmth of his body pressed against her own as he learned forward and wrapped his arms around her. He was warm and his body was trembling slightly. Inu Yasha's silver hair was like a blanket covering Kagome and she watched it glisten like crystals in the lamplight. Gently she moved her arms and wrapped them around his body. How much she wanted to be loved right now—how much she wanted to cry. How glad she was that he was here with her.

"I don't know what I would have done if he had hurt you…" Inu Yasha whispered hoarsely his voice thick with emotion. His grip tightened even more and he clung onto her frantically as though she was a savior. Her presence was close beside him now, a moment for him to breathe.

She closed herself and smiled softly. How beautiful he was right now—it was as if his true self had finally blossomed. This caring quality she had always hoped to see.

Kagome found herself chilled again as Inu Yasha pulled away from her slightly. In a shallow sleep she had dreamt she would see him, his eyes were brimming with tenderness. And somewhere in the distance she felt as though nothing had ever changed.

"Inu Yasha…" she whispered quietly, "Don't worry…"

"Of course I'm going to worry, you idiot." Inu Yasha grumbled his eyes bearing deep into her soul. He knew the pain she felt, this scared pain. He leaned forward and cupped his worn hands around her face. Her tears splashed and ran over them like a waterfall flowing to eternity. He knelt closer and slowly slid his eyes closed. Her lips were warm and moist and the scent of her figure was overpowering his senses. He knew that he must not loose control or else the girl would be permanently scarred. Yet, what was this happiness and free spirit that he felt when he was by her side? What was this insistent longing that called out to him? And why was he satisfied with the world when she was near him?

And for one brief, beautiful moment the two were united.

Yet, she pulled away gently and their lips separated and seemed now miles away from each other. Her eyes were wise, and sorrowful in this light. Inu Yasha looked down and flushed gently.

"I'm sorry…" was all he could say. Yet, he wasn't regretful at all. He had hoped that she too would have accepted his love. Yet always he was pushed away by his feelings.

"No…You have nothing to be sorry for." She admitted hesitantly gazing down at her bandaged wrists, "I too wanted such a moment to happen…yet…"

She paused and outside there was the steady sound of rain that must have started recently. He closed his hand around her own and squeezed it gently.

"I feel as though there is something else…I feel as if I have betrayed…someone…" she confessed her eyes full of worry. Inu Yasha listened to these words—as though this experience had somehow sobered her. He too had come to realize such realities.

"Who?"

Who was this other person? Who was the victor of this war? 

"I don't know."

An invisible enemy. That of the worst kind…

"Well…" he tried to begin. He felt foolish and immature as he gazed at her bandaged body. If he had not come she might have had to go through the terrors caused by Naraku Honda. And now…his feelings were being rejected.

"Inu Yasha? Please…can you wait? I am so unsure…" her voice whispered softly, so softly, so tenderly. Trembling as he watched her he found his voice tried to respond. Yet, no words could come.

"Can you stay until I fall asleep…? I'm afraid he will come back…" She avoided his gaze while she waited for the response. She knew how childish it sounded even at such a time.

"Sure. Come on." Inu Yasha grinned, surprised at such the simple request. Shuffling herself around the bed she snuggled under the covers and twisting her body she closed her eyes. A few locks of hair fell against her bare neck. The contrast was quite remarkable—the ebony gently touching the pristine splendor of the expanse.

Inu Yasha slumped on the bed and rested his head in his hands. He felt limp and weak as though all the adrenalin which had been coursing through his body ever since he had first spied the scene in the darkness of the alley, had finally disappeared from his body. He had fought with an angry passion—as though he had somehow been whisked away into a war zone, as though some demon possessed his body. He had brought Naraku an inch away from his death, and then suddenly he had been brought away from the anger into a cold fear for Kagome who now lay in a crumpled heap on the hard asphalt. She had lost conscious, and really, he couldn't blame her. The poor girl had been attacked and nearly raped by her past boss. And for things to happen to a girl like Kagome, it was unforgivable. The world could never have been so cruel. And somehow, it had been.

The slow rhythmic deep breathes echoed through the silence of the chilled room. Running a hand angrily through his hair he hoisted himself off the bed and began to gather his belongings. Yet, he couldn't leave Kagome alone. No, not now. He would have to wait for Sango and her slow ass. 

Walking about the apartment he found himself feeling as though he had entered a pyramid. He was looking upon treasures that no one was supposed to see besides the very special—and he was not worthy of such an honor. Pictures of her family, friends, scattered sheets of paper, a table with the beginnings of a 'Go' game spread across the birch top, a few CD's…and then on a very high shelf an old and very dusty picture. It looked as if it was 10 years old, and washed with the slow passage of time. Carefully he wrapped his fingers around it and brought it down to his gaze. The picture was that of a seashore scene with a young girl standing happily in a summer colored frock next to a boy who was slightly taller. The girl was smiling happily at the camera holding up a lobster—and the boy was doing the same, his smile gentle, yet never the less evident.

Inu Yasha's eyes narrowed. He had seen such a picture before; he had seen such a boy before. He had been tortured with his existence from his birth. How else could one be able to explain the gold eyes and auspicious silver hair?

Angrily he placed it down on the shelf and taking one last painful, regretful look at Kagome he walked out of the room. He had no hatred towards the sleeping girl—no, it was not her fault that she knew his stepbrother, but never the less it was the closeness that the two had evidently shared which caused his blood to boil. Always, always, always his brother had what he had always desired. His brother had money, friends, …a father, and now Kagome…

````````

A figure cloaked in the darkness swiftly stepped back from her opened window. Her eyes were hard and emotionless in the street lamps. Quickly she made her way to the phone and dialed a number that she knew all too well. As she waited for someone to pick up the other end a million thoughts flew through her head.

That man could not have been Sesshoumaru.

Making her way across the room she drew back the curtain and once again gazed across to street at Kagome Higurashi's apartment blessedly well lit. Her lips formed a snear as the silver haired man quickly fled from the apartment. Ah, she realized, it was both a blessing and a curse to be situated in such a place.

The ringing stopped, a pause, and then.

"Yes?"

"Oh…! Sesshoumaru…!"

"What are you doing calling me? I told you never ever to call my house." He hissed angrily through the phone.

"Well, I was worried." Kikyou thought quickly.

"Kikyou. I am going to hang up." He sighed.

"Wait, Sesshoumaru! I just wanted to make sure you are going to be at work tomorrow." Kikyou confirmed.

A long pause.

A sigh.

Then…

"Yes, I am going to be at the hospital. Now, leave me in peace."

"Okay, honey. There is so much to tell you…"

*click*

She slowly hung up the receiver as the pieces began to fit into place.

Ah…so it would seem that another silver haired man was interested in Kagome as well. Kikyou sneer turned into a smirk as she lit a cigarette in the darkness of her room—yes, there would be much to tell Sesshoumaru tomorrow. 

~~~~~

The next morning did not dawn bright and glorious, in fact it was a rather cold and dreary day. Yes, so it would seem that the night before winter had finally come to grace the floating kingdom of Japan. Nurses and doctors alike were seen hurrying into the building wrapped in long coats and warm scarves trying to escape the ravenous wind that pecked angrily at their noses and fingers.

Kagome too was like the others, dressed in warmth that she hated to take off. She did not want the world to know of her misfortune. However, find about it they would sooner or later. Placing her coat onto a wooden peg on which her scarlet scarf was draped onto she made her way to the nurse's office.

Nobody really noticed her as she walked down the hall, her two wrists, mid arm, cheek and mid-shin all in gauze. And Kagome was thankful for this, cause she looked like the ghost of bloody Christmas yet to come, she thought.

Arranging pills into the little plastic cups she got down to work hoping that neither Arima nor Kouga would come in as they usually did. They had enjoyed many jovial morning chats—but today she was not in the mood for one. Her body still ached and the images still haunted her mind. However, as always, so it would seem, this was not the case. The door could be heard opening, a few footsteps, a pause, and then…

"My god! Kagome, what happened?!" Kouga exclaimed in surprise as he rushed forward and grabbed her hand as he examined the bandages.

She sighed, nonetheless, a smile still plagued her lips. Kouga was indeed something else. A rarity among men.

"It's nothing…" she said earnestly. She hoped if she said it enough it would be true. It was nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

"Kagome, do you expect me to believe that?" Kouga grumbled feeling as though his ego had been bruised.

"Well, no, but I could try, ne?" Kagome grinned as she noticed Arima Miyazawa studying her for a moment; his eyes were unusually dark as was his __expression.

"Kagome…" he began softly as though trying to talk to her in private.

"What happened, damn it!" Kouga commanded as he surrounded her frame as he leaned into the wall. His features were that of anger and frustration and that of fear. To make him worry was something Kagome had promised herself that she would not do.

"Fine…I'll tell you, but it's really embarrassing." She sighed to herself.

"Does it look like I care?" he fumed.

"Well…I fell down some stairs." Kagome admitted as she hung her head low. Some would think it was embarrassment, yet she and Arima knew that it was shame. Shame and fear.

"You fell down some stairs? Are you sure?" Kouga repeated after a moment studying her features (which was very simple to do considering they were so close to each other.)

"Well…I—" Kagome began nervously trying to avoid his stare. And damn it, she couldn't go anywhere for here he was boxing her in with his arms. Ah, why couldn't life be easier?

"My my my, Higurashi-san, you certainly do start early in the morning, now don't you?" The high falsetto voice of Takoage Kikyou teased, "And here I thought you came to work early because you enjoyed your job. I can see why…"

Kouga's arms flopped to his side and he quickly took his position next to Arima leaving Kagome by the wall. Kouga knew as well as Kagome that Kikyou was not one to argue with, however brave a person may be. It was only known that one person, Okuda Sesshoumaru, could stand up to the likes of her.

"What do you mean by that remark?" Kagome asked bitterly. She was not in the mood to have to handle all these cat and mouse type games.

"Oh…nothing…." Kikyou smirked her eyes full of malice, hatred and contempt.

"Well, if you will excuse me then, Takoage, I have to go make my rounds." Kagome explained irritably as she grabbed her notebook and pen.

"Ah ah ah, not so fast…I have a favor to ask of you." Kikyou taunted in earnest. How hard and cold her eyes were, how hard, how cruel. How mocking.

Kagome sighed and turned around and glared at her straight in the eyes. "Yes?" Unfortunately the witch was not undaunted and instead smirked as she accentuated the final words, "Please, if you see Sesshoumaru, tell him I would like to see him very much."

Kagome's eyes narrowed and hurriedly she turned around and walked out of the room. Really she did want to say something extremely evil to Kikyou Takoage, yet, she remembered, not only was she a doctor now transferred to her division but she was also her _sempai. _To talk to one's sempai in that manner would certainly not bode well with the head nurse who she was sure Kikyou would tell.

"Oh, and do hurry." She heard Kikyou add as she quickly made her way through the white halls. The antiseptic white halls.

```````` 

Sesshoumaru regarded his watch placed firmly on his left hand. It was nearly nine o'clock—extremely late as far as things went. A light rain had begun to fall and he opened his umbrella as he walked the grassy lawns of the hospital. Although he felt no remorse in arriving as late as he had there was a twinge of curiosity about that which Kikyou had eluded to the night before. What could have happened in his three-day absence? What misfortunes had befallen some? Quickening his pace he arrived at the back entrance just before the clouds burst open and poured relentlessly down onto the city. People ran to and fro like drowning ants and momentarily Sesshoumaru watched them in amusement. Their simple, frantic actions were so uplifting and humorous.

In the back of his mind there was always the presence of her. Despite the curiosity which he held for the misfortunes which Kikyou would no doubted tell him, and despite the amusing site which lay before him on the grassy lawn; she had been with him singing softly some forgotten tune. He had wanted to escape from her presence, yet it seemed that without her there was no color. He wasn't sure when or how this had happened, and really the sensation was rather irksome. He was the master of all he saw, people respected him, feared him, adored him, trusted him…yet now so easily he had been cast aside.

Opening the door he found himself looking directly at Kikyou who was leaning lazily against a counter as she chatted idly with the head nurse who was at the moment agreeing with her that 'fall color's' were best suited for her palette. The old wrinkled apple of a nurse stood up suddenly, the papier-mâché creases forming a smile as she greeted warmly, "Okuda-san! We were beginning to worry! Especially," she added, "Takoage-san here."

"Oh, my, how embarrassing!" Kikyou shrieked in unbearable falseness.

And so…it had begun.

"Excuse me for my lateness. I believe I will go directly to work." Sesshoumaru spoke as he hung his black trench coat onto a wooden peg next to a jacket with a scarlet scarf draped lopsidedly over the top. There was a scent around this fabric, he noted, the scent of her…Halting all thoughts in his mind he searched for his cubby-hole and withdrew a few pieces of paper which he idly tossed into a mesh trashcan.

"Sesshoumaru, I will accompany you." She, the wench, squealed in the nasal twinge that some Japanese men found attractive. He just found it sincerely annoying, as was everything about her.

"Do as you wish. You seemed very busy though, I will not disturb you." He sighed without emotion as he instinctively broke into a long stride down the halls. If only he could escape her web which was always drowning him beneath his pain.

"Wait…!" she wined as she jogged slightly to catch up, "I won't go with you…but I have been meaning to ask, or rather, tell you something." She was trying to be provocative and it certainly was not working. Hadn't the heartless bit of falseness realized he was not interested?

Yet….She would not go with him? Was this some sort of foolery? Kikyou, when given the opportunity, would always go with him—and now, now…the blessing had finally been bestowed upon him. Gazing at her in a mask of detached interest he uttered, "Well then, do as such, so I may leave." 

Yes, please hurry. I have no time for the likes of you. Don't you understand: I never will, nor do I want to. Go. Flee. Run. Hide.

"Well…" her irritating voice began in the shrill nasal twinge she thought he found attractive, "I was just wondering if you heard about what happened to Kagome."

Kikyou knew that the four last words would catch his attention, and as soon as she had it she would smash the idealistic image of the young, naïve, and utterly intolerable girl. 

Sesshoumaru decided to make no response as was his fashion. After all what could he say? Some mindless chatter of curiosity? Good god no, then he would be on her level…the level of pond scum and one-celled organisms.

"You see…" she continued, "I hear that she finally got into a relationship with someone. Aren't you happy for her? A _heavy _relationship...after all she has all these bandages on her body. And…did I mention to you I live across the street from her? The whole neighborhood could hear what was happening! Thank goodness it's an old lady who works there, her hearing has probably gone down the drain. She does seem rather exhausted, maybe I should go buy her an energy drink…"

One more word and he would loose control. It was not even the anger that he felt towards Kikyou (who was so terribly wearing the mask of friendship) yet it was also the disgusting possibility of truth there might be. After all…it was not hard to imagine Kagome being in a relationship with someone, although he had not believed that the girl was involved with anyone. He, Sesshoumaru, had not been unaware of the admiring glances her fellow co-workers gave her, he was not so totally blind. If he had known he would never have… His _expression formed a frown as he scoffed, "Kikyou, is that it? Is this what you do in your spare time?"

"Sesshoumaru, I—" the girl began frantically.

"Silence. I have no time to waste for a person who enjoys imagining such lies." He spat angrily as he turned on his heals and promptly continued his walk down the hall, the shadow of a doubt now beginning to sprout slowly in his mind. And surprisingly the pain astonished him. Trying to wrench it somewhere deep and dark he made a beeline to Hiroaki's room. Perhaps the kind hearted innocence of the boy having yet to witness and feel such terrible pain would bring him, however momentarily, back to the murky reality which the hospital was comprised of today. 

He was beginning to regret ever coming to work today…

He was beginning to regret so many things…

Yet, there was no regrets for the youth…

Never. 

``````````

She had dropped the metal tray and it fell to the floor with a hushed sort of silence that seemed to wrap around your soul as you entered the room. The area was like any ordinary hospital room, metal beds, white blankets and sheets, a few scattered orange blankets for additional warmth, empty IV's, turned off machines…it was completely empty, and that was the problem.

Once, which seemed so long ago, there had been brightly colored pictures in brilliant shades of orange, and green, and azure blue like that of the Okinawan coast. Once there had been scattered puzzle pieces spread haphazardly across a dinner tray. Once there had been pictures of friends hiking near Mount Fuji, once there had been a vase of daisies and a few tapes of children's songs. Once…not so long ago…

Now it was a barren desert of stainless steel, white bedding, and the gray landscape outside.

Everything seemed slower now.

Rushing to the bedside that Hiroaki had once so innocently slept in was now cold and unemotional. All remnants of the boy were gone…he had disappeared like summer. She hated herself for what came next, which were the tears…Large tears which splashed down her face. There was only on reason for the boy's sudden disappearance. No goodbye's, no good lucks…no, he was alone in his wishes. He had received no kind words as his spirit had vanished… She brought her hand shakily to her face as she tried to find a seat by which she could slowly comfort herself. Trying to rock her body back into a stable mindset she found that her silent tears only increased in number. She felt like Alice lost and afraid in this wonderland. 

Perhaps Sesshoumaru's approach was the better one to take. Have no emotions for anyone—isolate yourself, be frank with life…

Chocking a sob she tried to wipe away the tears without success, but like the rain outside, they would not stop

She could feel something warm gently touch her shoulder, such a light, feathery touch. She looked up at the figure for a brief moment, and in that flash of time she saw her sorrow mirrored in his eyes. He saw the regret, the pain, the anger, the unfairness of it all. Wiping her eyes quickly she stood up and was shocked by the transformation. All sympathy was gone, and now that cold, calm, and unemotional Sesshoumaru remained. The Sesshoumaru who would and could talk to no one, the frigid, yet beautiful man. 

And even in the iciness of his features he lifted his hand and handed her a handkerchief, before saying in the most bitter tone she had ever heard, "I expect you back at work in five minutes, Higurashi-san."

Kagome watched him go, not knowing which caused her more grief: the death of Hiroaki or the cold demeanor of Sesshoumaru.

Gazing down bleakly at the handkerchief she fingered it for a moment. She felt as if her life was crumbling…last night, the death of such an innocent boy, and now Sesshoumaru…

Why was it that Sesshoumaru worried her the most?

What, she wondered worriedly, could ever have happened to make him act that way?

``````````````````

And so…the day wore steadily on as the never-ending hands of time continued to tick. Such a thing would stop for no one. The gray darkness of the storm hung drearily over the hospital and the large drops continually fell from the tempest sky. And through it all Kagome tried to the best of her ability to make up in her lost time, to make up in her losses. Yet, those who would observe noticed a slight change in the usually cheerful and eager young nurse Kagome Higurashi. Her glow had dimmed, as had her aura. People were no longer affected as much as they had once been by her personality—and the hospital walls did not melt away at the site of her. There was a dull luster in her eyes and a weakened stamina in her figure. People noticed these changes, but none spoke of it.

Sesshoumaru from time to time had observed the girl as she came back every now and again into the nurses quarters. He found it strange that the death could have affected the girl so much; he had presumed irrationally that the girl was stronger than that. She was the Japanese Cyprus that would bear the storm, not bend to it. Watching the girl flit around the office like a dying moth concerned him, but only slightly. Kagome Higurashi was no longer his concern—she was someone else's, some mysterious person's. 

But to say that she had ever been his… 

It was of no matter, he contemplated for a moment as he went to the counter and began to make himself some tea, whether or not the girl seemed be slowly diminishing. She was a childhood acquaintance, and the world was hard, as she had no doubt realized by now. 

It was like autumn, beautiful, yet slowly dying… 

"Ito-san, how have you been doing?" her voice asked cautiously as she continued to scribble away on her remaining charts. "Fine. Just fine." The young nurse with the personality of a deer in headlights mumbled. There was a pause and the sound of her writing studiously away could be heard. Sesshoumaru poured the nearly boiling water over the loose tealeaves. One should only let it soak for 90 seconds, after that it became bitter… 

"I have been meaning to ask you about Kikyou." The timid one ventured cautiously. Sesshoumaru pretended not to hear, he would silently blend into the surroundings, silently like snow falling. "Yes, what about her?" her voice had turned cool, and slightly disdainful. Ah, so it would seem that Kikyou and Kagome were not on good terms at all. This was of no news to himself, for he had known it for quite some time. 

"What did she want to talk to you about…that time?" 

The girl had tried to whisper, she had tried to be discrete, and oh, how poorly she had failed. 

"We should talk about this later…we do have company." 

So, it would seem that his skills of materializing into the wall had failed miserably. Yet, he shrugged as he took out the dregs of the tea, it was of no matter. Sooner or later he would find out; he always found out in the end. How succulent they had made this morsel of knowledge though, how juicy, how tempting, how utterly burned in the gravy of fear. 

"Ito-san finish Higurashi's documents for her, she gets off of work in about five minutes." He found himself commanding as he sat back into his chair facing the wall. He hadn't even acknowledged their presence, had not even turned to make eye contact, and had not even bothered. This was his power. Settling back down to his work he took out a ball point pen and began to write in his medical journal. 

--November 23— 

Today the patient in 202 died. Causes are unknown, but it is thought that his kidneys began to fail, followed by his heart. Higurashi is very distraught: look into her condition more.

`````````

Kagome sighed to herself as she gazed down at her bandaged wrists. It had not been a good day. Resting her head in her hands she slumped against the hospital bench. She had been officially off of work for about five minutes now, and every bone in her body was praying to be at home, sleeping, and forgetting such a day. Nevertheless, she had promised Inu Yasha that she would see him after work—he, who was like a ray of light to her at the moment. He who knew what had happened in the alley, he who understood her actions and grief. No one else could understand, and no one else would care. Maybe even he didn't care, but whatever the reason, he was being nice to her. A niceness she wished that she could so easily give back in return.

"Kagome." His voice called. He was more subdue today in note of her 'condition.' Condition: it sounded as though she had some incurable disease.

"Oh, hey, Inu Yasha." Kagome called as she raised her head and gave him a warm smile.

"How ya' feeling?" he managed to choke out his, cheeks beginning to turn pink.

"I'm…alright, I suppose." Kagome confessed a little mournfully, "I mean, I am not having any physiological affects about it or anything, but…"

"But…?" he asked stepping nearer towards her seated figure.

"Well…a patient died today." She confessed after a moment as she gazed down onto the white tile floors.

"I'm so sorry." Was all he could say. It was all anyone could say. Sesshoumaru would say nothing, except, as he had said, 'get back to work', Ito would just nod sadly, Sango would be sympathetic, Kouga would be sympathetic while trying to give her a pep talk. Really, Inu Yasha's response was the best one out of the bunch. Inu Yasha, she was sure, knew the pain of which she spoke, but he gave his sympathy in a very strong way. She wished for such strength.

Standing up she faltered slightly but balanced herself after a moment. Inu Yasha was watching her cautiously, and Kagome found herself grinning, as she laughed, "Nothing to be afraid of, I'm not going to faint."

"Uh huh…" Inu Yasha nodded skeptically. 

"I'm not! I'm strong!" Kagome found herself insisting, even though even as she spoke the words she realized how unrealistic they sounded at the moment. How fake they were said, how much she wished them to be true.

Inu Yasha laughed as he poked her in the shoulder, "Sure. You know you want someone to protect you. You are a typical girl—all prince charming and all."

Against her will she laughed. Ah, how true it was. How much she had dreamed for her prince charming…

"Inu Yasha…" Kagome began her eyes glittering with merriment. She wanted to tell how much he meant to her. Perhaps, if given time, they might bloom into something else. Yet, she could never speak those words, for a moment later the opportunity was lost, and never to be regained.

"Inu Yasha…" the voice said, the cold, hard, angry, sharp voice hissed. This was the voice of Sesshoumaru…


	14. Chapter 14 part I: the winter

AN: Hey, y'all! Wow. Chapter 14 (part I) is here! Now, sorry its so short, but notice the *part I* that means that part II is yet to come, but I thought that where I ended it nicely was a good stopping point. AKA:  A nice cliffhanger.

Disclaimer: I dun own IY, I don't own Sesshoumaru, Kagome, Sango, Shippou. I do own Arima Miyazawa-- *looks around as she huggles her UFO catcher of him* you know I really should make a sketch of him…hmmm…

Actually, *forgets his name at the moment* you know that guy in Fruits Basket? The cow guy? *grins* sort of like him…only, now 'black' and 'white' side, and he has blonde hair, not white—despite how cool that is.

Note: this chapter MAY get depressing for some. Sorry y'all, I gotta make there be suspense and drama. If you want a cutesy fic, go out and find one, there are plenty of them out there.

Forgotten Wish

Chapter 14 (part I)  

"Inu Yasha…"

The voice was hard, cold, utterly filled with hatred. There was no misunderstanding Sesshoumaru's meaning when he spoke the name—there was nothing there except for detestation and anger.  

The world had stopped for a moment and then suddenly, slowly, almost manically Inu Yasha twisted around to gaze at the figure that had called out his name.  His stature tensed noticeably and his body began to tremble with fury.

"Sesshoumaru…"

Kagome searched the faces the two men; each expression was the same.  The same spite, the same malice.  Their faces were perhaps identically in the reaction, their amber eyes hard as steel, their lips forming a disgusted sneer. Perhaps it was at this moment that the pieces fell into place for Kagome and the world suddenly had  turned upside down.  There was no mistaking it, not when their bodies were so close to each other, not when their expressions were mirrors…

…The two were brothers…

Closing her eyes, she forced herself to grab hold of her emotions and direct them in a suitable manner.  Something would happen if the two were not intervened.  Harsh words would be spoken, angry, harsh, unforgivable words.  Perhaps…even blood…

She could already feel regret…she could already feel their hatred…

Stepping forward Kagome tried to ease the strain, yet before she could even open her mouth the doctor stepped forward in his smooth, dangerous grace. 

"What are you doing here?"  His voice was strangely full of emotion despite his expressionless face.

"I work here. Don't I have a right to be here?" Inu Yasha spat angrily at his brother, "Or are only 'your' kind allowed?"

Sesshoumaru paused momentarily from the speech he would no doubted give, "Inu Yasha, believe me, if you want to go into father then do so…I have more than enough counters for any blows you could give.  If any." It was like the crack of a whip over Kagome's back.  Never had she seen Sesshoumaru so without control, he was nearly on his breaking point.  One more comment and he would go over the edge and snap.  If Sesshoumaru snapped there was no telling what could happen…

"Sesshoumaru…" Kagome began suddenly, trying to stall, trying to stop, trying anything.  Yet, she could feel that her presence was undetected between the two men—she was invisible, blending in with the surroundings.  Her cries were unheard; her wishes were unnoticed—only the two of them stood in this darkness that surrounded and consumed their souls.

"Oh? You want to go into that, do you?"  Inu Yasha challenged his fingers curing to form fists. His body began to tremble with anger even more.  His eyes had lost the steely texture and how had a blazing quality in them—a quality she had never seen, nor imagined he possessed. It was strength, a resilient strength that Inu Yasha infatuated.  It was almost maddening.  "You want to talk about 'father'. _Your_ father—your asshole father, who couldn't admit when he had shamed the family?!"

SNAP.

It was not until later that Kagome was actually giving time to analyze what she had done.  Yet, she would have finished it again, again and again and again…

It was a sharp pain that radiated from her cheek down to her arm.  All the hatred, anger, and remorse had been put into that single slap. Kagome had found herself holding firmly onto his pain in hopes that she might ease it.  In hopes that reality would make its way back, despite the pain that surrounded her.  Yet, she was not alone in her wound…

She could ease Sesshoumaru's pain…if only he would let her…

Her cheek began to throb, and this single blow he had given her hurt more than anything Naraku had tried or done to her.  She had cared for the man, and now it had come to this….

He backed immediately away, startled in a most untypical way.  He had seen Kagome swiftly move to block the blow from his bastard of a brother—yet it had been too late, he could not stop the momentum.  Nor, perhaps, did he want to.  In every way, Kagome had betrayed him.  His brother, no doubt, was the new relationship that the girl, the ignorant and stupid girl, had begun. She had betrayed him more than once—and now the blow she blocked for him only proved his suspicions correct. 

Why would she protect someone like him? Someone so low as Inu Yasha?

Touching her cheek gingerly, she looked up at Sesshoumaru, hoping and praying she would not cry.  "Sesshoumaru, please, can't we talk this out?"

A warm hand was placed on her shoulder.  She could feel his warmth pressing against her skin; this was Inu Yasha's silent way of showing concern.  He, no doubt, was just as startled when she had tried to protect him.  Kagome watched Sesshoumaru's eyes study her face, and then ever so slightly for the briefest of seconds, he gazed down at his brother's hand placed on her body.  His expression had grimaced slightly then. 

"Talk?" He scoffed angrily as he took out his glasses from his breast pocket, "What is there to talk about?  Neither of you are worth my time."

"Sesshoumaru…!" Kagome began stepping forward after his retreating figure which seemed to be melting away before her. "Please…!"

He paused not once, and a few moments later, he had turned the corner.

It is a good idea to see the world as a dream.  When you have something like a nightmare, you will wake up and tell yourself it is only a dream.  It is said that the world we live in is not a bit different from this. ~from the second chapter of Hagakure, by Yamamoto Tsunetomo. 

````````

It was a most warm and cozy picture in Tokyo that late afternoon.  Two weeks before Christmas, the decorations and the holiday spirit had already set in.  People were seen smiling and laughing to one another, Christmas shopping, sharing a cup of some steamy beverage.  Yes, it was a most joyous and warm time of year.  To Kagome this time of year could never be spoiled, and tonight would be no exception. 

Wrapping a thick black scarf around her neck, and quickly grabbing her purse, she took one appraising glance in the mirror.  She blinked and peered closer.  Was this really her?  She looked like some beatnik chick—a nice looking beatnik, but one nonetheless.

Decked out in a black wool beret, black scarf, black sweater, black skirt, and slightly clunky leather black boots; no less…the only thing, which had some color, was the silver necklace on which the ring, her precious ring, was place on.  She fingered it delicately for a moment, and then shaking her head, she wrote out a note to Sango (who was supposed to leave for Kobe today) and left the apartment.  Sango's ties to her family were very close, and Kagome felt only slightly guilty as she walked down the quiet stairs.

Supposedly, there was a new tenant, yet…she never saw him. (at least she knew the gender, she supposed)

She still had a good hour and a half before she was supposed to meet everyone, but sitting in her apartment all day, cooking a bunch of sweets for no reason but to give them to everyone who lived in the building, did make the day seem to drag buy.  She could probably catch a train to Shinjuku or something, or maybe get go see what was happening in Asakasa this time of year.  Yet, as the frigid air of a cold December day met her face, she decided the first thing to do was get a cup of something hot.  She would have preferred brandy, but showing up for a Taiko performance tipsy was probably not the best of ideas.  

So, taking the subway she found herself about 20 blocks away from where the concert was about to start.  There was a snow filled park in which a middle aged dumpy man was selling crème puffs and hot chocolate.  Nothing sounded quite so…felicitous than that.

Ever since that horrid week in mid November, she had tried to think of only playful things.  This was a terrible idea, she knew, but if she only thought about such topics than in no way would the feelings of Naraku, Kikyou, and most particularly Sesshoumaru begin. So, Kagome was resolute in her decision.  She had taken to cooking dishes and hosting parties for the apartment, reading books continually, and only working the bare minimum of hours she was allowed at the hospital.  No one had really treated her differently since the day after the incidents had happened.  Kouga, for all she knew, was still in the dark about what had happened in the alley, Inu Yasha still treated her nicely, though there were times when they would bicker, but not as much.  Yet  nothing was the same…they all thought she was ignorant to their concern, yet in reality she did not want to see it. It would only make her cry.  She was sick of crying. 

Sango was now, most likely, in Kobe while Miroku (who had his relatives in Tokyo), the poor dear was missing her terribly, she was sure.  Since their relationship had started a few years ago, he had become a world-renowned writer, both for his history novels as well as his romance novels (where he had received the funding for the history books, she wasn't quite sure).  How he managed to be respected in both circles, Kagome was not exactly sure on that one either.  Yet one thing was for sure, after a rocky almost comical start to their relationship the two had grown steadfast and perhaps one of the happiest couples she knew.  She was just counting down the days when Sango would exclaim about marriage.

Walking through the park, which was scattered with music performance artists, children throwing snowballs, and families having a dandy time at the frozen pond, she found herself feeling depression begin.  Tightening the wool jacket around her frame she sat down on a slightly damp park bench.  There she ate her crème puff and sipped on her coco.  It was only temporary, this depression.  Her life would continue on, and one of these days, things would finally dissipate.  Perhaps she did not want them to work out…perhaps she wished for this depression, perhaps she enjoyed drinking in her own self-pity.

But, she was stronger than all of this, she knew.

Fingering the ring around her neck, she sighed to herself.  For about a week now she had been meaning to return it to Sesshoumaru.  Their relationship as friends, she could feel, was at an end.  Her time for dreams was over, and reality had vengefully slapped her in the face at the same moment he had.  Death, danger, fears; all of this had come out into the open, and hope had no longer existed. Hope that one day perhaps Sesshoumaru and she could be more than friends, hope that she could help him bear his pain.  It was all gone now, and she felt hallow inside.  Despite this, the hollowness was not painful.  It meant that she would just have to fill her heart with something else, someone else, who could bring her the happiness she wished for.  It was stingy, she knew this, it was cruel, she knew this too—yet, if she would be happy and he would be happy, was there something wrong in that?

Was happiness…was that too much to ask for?

Someone, she noted, had sat down to her, and so, changing her attitude to one of holiday cheer, she tried to think of something extremely happy to say.  Such as, "Aren't the kids cute? Or "My, Christmas is fast approaching." Or, perhaps if all else failed, "It's rather cold, now, isn't it?"  Deciding on the last one (because she was tired of playing the happy idiot) and turned and exclaimed, "It's rather cold, now isn't it?"

The man turned and said simply, "It is cold.  Not unbearably so."

The man had caught her eye, and for a hint, she had detected some trace of astonishment in the voice of Sesshoumaru Okuda, but then, she could have been wrong. She had been wrong so many times before.  So many times. Why was it that the two always seemed to meet in strange places?  She hardly saw him at all at work, and yet here he was sitting next to her in the middle of Tokyo.  Of Tokyo!  Heaven forbid they run into each other at the hospital where there were excuses to make, people to see, patients to check—no, there was no one and nowhere she could really escape to. 

"Uh…Sesshoumaru." Kagome gulped after a moment, scrambling to find some sort of mask, trying to pull the pieces together, "What are you doing here?"

"I always come here after my sumi-e class." He answered, shifting his gaze to the stark snow-covered trees.

"You take calligraphy?" Kagome questioned, "For how long?"  Now here was some unknown fact.  If anything, she had imagined Sesshoumaru doing kendo, or judo, or something to that effect.  Something very physical—how else did he keep his sculpted body?

"Since I returned to Tokyo after I met you, the first time."  Sesshoumaru said without wincing.  He had acknowledged their past meeting, their past relationship together.

"Really? For so long! That is amazing that you show such dedication to it." Kagome exclaimed truthfully.  Then, she carefully pressed on, "Do you have any work with you that I may see?"

She glanced down at his leather briefcase.

"It is not good enough for your eye.  You deserve a master's work."  He replied coolly as he turned his head slightly to gaze at her.  There was something different in his gaze now. 

"…That can't be true." Kagome found herself laughing softly.  How long had it been since she had laughed?

"But it is."  He directed firmly, "It is not good enough."

The two remained quiet gazing out at the scenery in front of them.  She knew that she had to leave before she would crumble—she did not want to show such a side of her.  Yet, before she left, she had to do what she had been meaning to do for a long time.  A moment ago she had laughed, and no doubt in a few moments she would cry.  My, my, life was certainly full of surprises. 

"Sesshoumaru?"  She questioned quietly.  He made no response but his eyes moved to her frame. 

"I have been meaning to ask you a question…" she gulped as she squeezed her hands together to try to stop her body from shaking.

"Which is what?"  Did he sound curious, or was he just humoring her?

"Do you remember our promise?  The promise we made to get married when we were adults?"

There, she had said it.  She had finally said it.  It was done.  There could and would be no regrets.  Breathing a sigh of relief, or perhaps frustration she turned and waited for his response.  No doubt, no doubt, the question had caught him off guard.

He faced her, his face looking slightly pained and full of remorse, "Yes.  Why?"

Why? Simple question.  Yet, it suddenly became as complicated a labyrinth. 

Edging a bit farther away from him on the cold bench, she shrugged slightly, "I think that we should…" she paused, gulped, then corrected, "I think that I should stop living in that hope."  Reaching behind her neck, she unclasped the silver watery chain, and took off the ring that was strung onto it.  Gazing at it for a moment she placed it on the wooden bench, "Truth be told, I don't even know if you consider me a friend anymore."

She waited for him to say something. Anything.

He just gazed down at the ring.

"I suppose…that all things must come to an end."  Kagome acknowledged, "I hope things work out for you…" then, she added, "And Kikyou as well…"

Finally, he responded, "Kikyou and I…we aren't—"

"I know." She found herself laughing bitterly, "I know…but why not wish for everyone's happiness while I am at it, ne?  Even mine, I wish for."

Getting up briskly, she gazed down at him.  This would be her goodbye from the man she had come to care for—perhaps, even love. As she bowed deeply, she whispered, "You will always be, to me, Sesshoumaru Okuda—the boy I knew as a child.  The boy I promised to marry."

You lie—she whispered to herself.  You thought of him as a man he is now.  You were attracted to him—there is nothing left of his boyish personality, you lusted after him in secret, you loved him in secret--only this man that you – STOP.

Reaching for her purse, she slung it around her shoulder, and left Sesshoumaru gazing down at the ring that rested on the park bench.  The laughs of young carefree children playing in the snow surrounded her.  Clutching her jacket close to her once again, she realized dimly that she was crying.

``````

Perhaps, things would be different now.

She hoped. 

~~~~~~~

AN: _furinkoto_neko@yahoo.com_

Please, read and review!

Dun worry y'all, Sesshie-chan isn't out of the picture yet!

Sesshoumaru: *grumbles* better not be…

Note: sumi-e (if I got it right) is Japanese calligraphy, just what the nihonjin call it. ^_~

Sesshoumaru: yes, I am the master, the sumi-e master.

Cappie: actually, your not. You only wish, you poor guy.

Sesshoumaru: you dare question my authority?

Cappie: well…I am the author.

Sesshoumaru: good point…

Next chapter (or part II) Kouga, Kagome, and IY (+ Arima) go see Kodo (oooh! Naisu!) and someone finally wants to confess their feelings, but what does IY have to say about it, eh? (and no, it ain't Arima, or Sesshoumaru) More surprises and tribulations to come on the next episode offffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff: Forgotten Wish!

Ps: dun be discouraged…sorry for all the angst, but it just had to happen, y'know?


	15. Chapter 14 part 11: the want

AN: for all yah little kids out there (thinking like 13 and under) be warned, alcohol is not something you should drink just for fun.  Don't drink and drive, and especially don't drink when your depressed. Just to let ya know, there is some reference to alcohol in this chapter.

Disclaimers: dun own it. Wish I could. But I dun.  Gomen ne, all ye hopefuls.   

NOTES: for some reason this chapter didn't feel like one of my better, ya know? ….I…gah, it just didn't flow. Sorry for lack of flowiness…

Forgotten Wish

Chapter 14 (part II)

To put it briefly, Kodo was great. No, excellent. Exceptional? Ah—yes, "superb".  That clearly described the performance that the world-renowned group presented to the audience.  Their swift movements, which resembled more of a dance, their precise rhythms, sharp and mellow sounds, the soft echo of raindrops to the great crackles of thunder.  Kagome had no idea Taiko could be so…beautiful.  The artisans beauty brought her high above the depression she was feeling and for two hours she sat and felt totally at ease with the world.

This ended abruptly as soon as the performance had ended.

Kouga and Arima were bouncing around herself and Inu Yasha, exclaiming in fits of excitement, "Wasn't that great!"

"It was the best performance yet!" Kouga burst out spreading his arms out wide with an enthusiasm of a young child.

"Yes, it was good. I was really impressed." Kagome admitted nodding her head and smiling, "I hope I can see them again. Don't you, Inu Yasha?"

"Yeah, it was pretty good. God, you could release some stress on those drums, couldn't ya?"  He pondered to himself as he scratched the side of his cheek.

"They aren't a stress reliever." Kouga grumbled irritably.

"I was just saying." Inu Yasha shrugged trying to keep his temper.

"Well, well, well!" Arima began sidestepping the potential fight, "How about we go get a quick bite to eat before we all head home?"

"In head home, you mean to our own separate houses?" Kagome questioned warily as she found herself grinning.

"My dear girl," Arima purred handsomely, "What are you suggesting?"

"Yes, what are you suggesting?" Inu Yasha asked in a confused voice, obviously not understanding the undertones here.

"Inu Yasha!" Arima squealed in his 'Arima Miyazawa' sort of way, "Don't tell me you don't know what a ménage-et-tois is?"

He just blinked as he continued walking.  Kagome burst out into fits of laughter, and Kouga stumbled a bit over the sidewalks as he –no doubt- was having visual images fly through his head.

"How about we head to the Kaede Hotel? World celebrated, you know?  I think a Mai Tai sounds good—warms the body and the soul."  Arima said in a most salesman kind of way.  Either he was in a boyishly good mood, or he and Kouga had gone out partying before the show.

"Sure, that sounds good. I could use a drink." Kagome agreed enthusiastically.

"Yeah, me too." Kouga nodded as he stepped closer to the only female in the group.

"Irish coffee for me, please." Kagome responded raising her hand high. "And…maybe a Mai Tai wouldn't hurt, ne Inu Yasha?"

"I think I will just stick to good old brandy—you guys with your flowery drink…"

Hoping that Taiko and alcohol would shortly dull the pain she felt in her heart, they made their way to the Kaede Hotel.

`````````

"I'm…I'm so sorry about all this." Kagome mumbled to Kouga who was helping her walk up the many flights of stairs to her apartment.  Obviously, she had one too many drinks at the hotel—and Kouga, being the last to leave, had decided (ever so kindly) to help her home in her intoxicated state.

"Don't worry about it." Kouga grinned, his voice strangely calm and un-irritated.  Having to walk her about twenty blocks, and one hell of a subway ride home he had remained cool, calm, and caring even down to the last stair step.

"Where are your keys?" he questioned as he gently allowed her to lean against the wall.  She could not walk, or hardly stand on her own—and the wall, it seemed, was her second best friend at the moment. (Kouga being obviously the first)

"Thereeee…" Kagome slurred, then trying to focus her thoughts, "In my purse. In the pocket."

Digging around he finally managed to find them, and turning the handle to the door, he carefully led her in and guided her to the bed.  As they made their way across the room Kouga had plucked her hat from atop her head, along with the scarf---and most precariously of all, her large wool jacket that he tossed over the side of the chair.  Kagome, although aware of these facts, could do nothing to stop him.  She knew that she was safe in his arms and he would not take advantage of the situation.  Placing her on the bed, he knelt down and looked up at her from his kneeling position.

"Are you okay?" he questioned worriedly.  She felt his hand wrap around her own and squeeze it gently.

"Well," she breathed, "I am drunk…"

There was a soft sort of chuckle, but then, shaking his head he continued, "That's not what I meant…"

"Oh." She stated dumbly avoiding his glance.

"You never seem to be at work anymore—your either there or here…did something happen? I'm worried."  How easily Kouga showed his concern towards her.  She could see it in his eyes—she could feel his worry and she felt guilty for causing that.

"Oh, Kouga…a lot of things have happened.  None of them for the better, but I will get out of this slump. I always do.  Remember the nurses examinations?" Kagome questioned wryly as she gazed into the handsome face.

"Yeah, I remember. You came running to me in a state of panic to help you study after your week of 'I'm not going to get in' depression."  Kouga said nostalgically.  There was a pause, then he continued, "But this is different…"

Kagome felt her eyes welling with tears, "If I told you…you would go crazy, or something—just like Inu Yasha did."

"What does Inu Yasha have to do with it?" he questioned suddenly, leaning forward, his voice now harder.

Sighing she ran her free hand through her hair which suddenly felt extremely oily.

"Naraku…" she whispered.

"Your old boss?"

"He attacked me…"

"What do you mean, 'attacked' you?"

"He…nearly raped me, if Inu Yasha hadn't been walking by."

There was a long pause—a long tension filled pause.  She could feel Kouga's body begin to tremble with anger, as had Inu Yasha's not so long ago.

"Don't.  I have gotten over it. It's not my fault…its just that…" she paused.  Could she reveal such an intimate part to him?  She had not even revealed this to Inu Yasha—but, then again, that was for obvious reasons.

"What is it then?" Kouga questioned with a clenched jaw.  He still had not gotten over the preliminary shock. 

"…Sesshoumaru."

"You mean, Okuda Sesshoumaru?" Kouga hissed angrily. God, he hated that guy, even more so than he hated the bastard cook Inu Yasha!

"Yes." Pausing, she swallowed and continued, "Its over—our friendship.  I guess he feels I have betrayed him."

"You were friends with him!?" Kouga burst out suddenly. Calming himself swiftly, he reasoned that obviously, he did not have the big picture here, and it was better to keep a cool head. For now.  But betray…what did that mean? Were they in some sort of relationship?  Or had been, so the case may seem?

"This is all I can tell you." Kagome said plainly, "This is all I have told to anyone—even Inu Yasha.  I can't tell him I was ever a friend with Sesshoumaru—because, well, they are stepbrothers."

His eyes widened. Terashima Inu Yasha and Okuda Sesshoumaru—step brothers!? WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON!? And why the heck hadn't he seen it all sooner?

"Step brothers…?" he whispered hollowly.

That would sort out a couple of questions that had been plaguing him for a while.

"Well, technically—yeah, I guess. Inu Yasha's father had an affair—he was the offspring of it…"

Well, that would explain the guy's anger whenever he called him a bastard.  He was one in reality.

Running a hand bitterly through his hair, he grumbled to himself, trying to put his anger in check, "Well, this comes as one hell of a shock."

Kagome said nothing, and he figured there was really nothing she could say after all.  Halting suddenly, he tried to sort out, clarify thoughts, and put them into their own respective areas.  This news about 'brothers' could wait—but Naraku?  The jackass Naraku was what was really pissing him off.  God damn, if he ever saw that guy, he would make him a living vegetable…!  Ten years in a Tokyo street gang had its benefits; after all, being the leader of the pack did give you the advantage of having many friends. Grimacing he turned back and was about to tell Kagome about the consequences of Naraku ever touching her—but he guessed exhaustion, and probably depression, had sunk in.  She lay sprawled against the bed her long luxurious hair spread out around her frame.

The anger vanished almost as quickly as it had begun.  Now, it was regret…and pity.  Regret? Regret because he hadn't been her number one, regret because he hadn't been there to save her.  Pity?  Well, things like this just weren't supposed to happen to someone as kind and good hearted as her…

Arranging the blankets onto her figure, he knelt down and gently kissed her forehead.  Tomorrow would be a new day in his relationship with Higurashi Kagome.  Tomorrow he would finally let free this caged bird of his heart.  Tomorrow he would tell this girl his emotions—his feelings—his love.  She needed someone, and perhaps, maybe, just maybe, he could be that person.  He wanted her to love him—he wanted her more than anything he had ever dreamed of.

Closing his eyes for a moment, he visualized her perfect face.  Smiling to himself, he left the apartment. 

~~~~~~~~~

"Good morning!" Kagome smiled brightly as she waved to the head nurse.

"Oh! Kagome! Welcome back, everyone was beginning to worry about you!"  The lady smiled, strangely brightly, as she returned the wave. 

"Sorry to worry everyone, but I am back now for my regular shifts." She explained as she set down her bag trying to avoid the icy glares of Kikyou who was leaning against a doorframe.

"Well, wonderful! A few patients were asking for you just yesterday!'" the nurse added as she bustled to get a stethoscope for a new nurse which had arrived in her absence.

"Really?" Kagome found herself laughing, "Well, I guess I will go back on my rounds. Sorry to worry you."  Grabbing her clipboard and a few other things (which she placed automatically in her pocket) she turned around as the cool, musical, lucid voice of Kikyou said pleasantly, "Yes, welcome back Kagome-chan."

It did not go unnoticed, the familiarity that she faked.

"Thank you." Kagome nodded, remaining pleasant even in the face of such evil.

"I do hope you come to the Christmas party, won't you?  It should be very fun, we might even have a fire outside and roast something."  Kikyou explained in her over dramatic way (which male patients found attractive).

"Really? That does sound like fun. I shall try to see if I can go."  Kagome promised adding in an extremely false wink, and turning on her heal she waved breezily, "Do say hi to Okuda and Ito for me, won't you?"

"But of course!" Kikyou lied blatantly.  _Well, she is sharp today.  Nothing can penetrate her impregnable walls, so it would seem…_

_Something must have happened over the weekend…_

"Was that Higurashi?"  A voice from above questioned in a very disinterested way.  Glancing up, her face grimaced as she found that his childish fixation had not ended with the girl.  There was a difference in his manner; however, she could not quite place her finger on it.  Regret was the only word, and emotion, which came close.  Regret…ah, so many regrets that she, Kikyou, had to suffer with as well.

"No, it wasn't." Kikyou sniffed moodily. Then, gazing up at the man, she found herself leaning against his chest as she pretended to loose her balance.  These little games she played would be the downfall of his honor.  She would win this most delicious man yet.

"Sesshoumaru…I hope that you still aren't interested in her, are you?"  She whispered as she placed her hand against his firm chest.  She could feel the tightness of his muscles even from beneath his clothes. He smelled of some cologne mixed with the warm pleasing scent of freshly made tatami mats. 

"I was never interested, as you so disgustingly put it, in her in the first place.  I have told you before…" pausing he walked away causing her to stumble against a nearby wall.  "Your jealousy of shadows will be the end of you, Kikyou.  You will never acquire me, like some collectable—no matter how much you pursue, you will never win me over."  His stare was venomous as he smoothly grabbed a clipboard and walked out the door. Yes, there was some indefinable change in his attitude.  A straightforward sort of way of talking—and the fact that _he was talking_ was also unusual. Most curious…

"I wouldn't be so sure."  Kikyou smirked as she decided to take a cigarette break. 

```````````

Kouga heaved a huge breath as he sat up suddenly from the bench he had been occupying for the past twenty minutes. Having been dismissed from work for the day something's still needed to be done. Needed to be shown. Told.

The night before, he had resolved that today he would tell Kagome his true emotions. Really, looking back on the four years he had known her, it seemed silly that he had only decided until now. Perhaps if he had told her in the beginning, they might already be married and she might be having a child while they were living in some Tokyo suburb. Ah, what a lovely picture that was.

A smile touched his lips as he walked down the hall to the nurse's quarters. He had inquired earlier about the time that 'Higurashi' got off work, which was to be in a few moments. He wanted no time waist no time—he did not want her to slip through his fingers which he had been allowing all these years.

The gray light had now weakened and the hospital was mainly being lit by the fluorescent, if depressing, lights above his head. The storm, which had blown in last week, had finally decided to cross over the pacific, but now another storm fresh from the Japanese Sea had decided to roll over the Alps and come into the city. The weather was just on the turning point—there had been freezing rain, slush, and icy treads---yet no snow, no snow not as yet. This new storm would hopefully be the big one in which Tokyo was covered into an icy winter wonderland just in time for Christmas.

Glancing up, he followed her as she walked across the room to pick up her purse. Her back towards him she said, "Well, I will try. Who knows what plans I have. If my parents invite me, I might go home."

"That sounds nice." Ito smiled warmly as she looked up from her daily cup of tea.

"Well, who knows?" She shrugged revealing a bit of skin that was not covered by her long hair. Turning around, her face lit up with a smile, which she might have possessed even before she saw him, "Kouga! What brings you to this part of the hospital."

So, this was it. This would be the beginning—and what would the end bring? 

Managing to flash a most winning and handsome smile, he said, "Why, you of course."

"Me?" she questioned curiously, "Well, I have no idea why. Did I forget to do something? Did we have a show to go to that I forgot about?"

He chuckled, a most fluid and soft chuckle, one that would make any girls (and woman's heart) skip a beat, "No, no…you didn't forget anything. I came here became there is something I have been meaning to talk to about…"

The mood changed drastically.

"Eh?" Kagome fumbled suddenly aware that she was blushing. "W-what do you mean?"  It was strange to be reacting in such a way as this…so very strange.  Brushing her hands through the tips of her hair, she nodded nervously and waving one last good bye to Ito, who was giving her a most interesting look, she walked out of the quarter.  Ito turned to another nurse called Karuza and raised an eyebrow, "So, the plot thickens."

"It would appear so."

````````

The two walked, Kagome rather stiffly, as Kouga just seemed to amiably stroll along, down the hall.  Glancing up nervously, nervous; for the first time in years to be with him, she questioned, "Uh, Kouga-kun, where are we going?"

The man grinned, shrugged, and then gazing down her, he smirked good-naturedly and laughed, "A place where I can tell you."  It was not a kind laugh. It was perhaps bitter.

"Tell me what?"

Her voice was high and nervous, and the obnoxious red color kept burning her cheeks.

"You will see, you'll see…"

Glancing up she was astonished at the transformation.  There was no longer this abnormally sweet Kouga, but…dare she think 'macho and mysterious'.  His clothes hung on him differently somehow too, his figure and build accentuated more—and a mischievous, if not attractive glint fixed in his eye. It was as though he was some butterfly, emerging confidently from his cocoon.

The two walked by a few rooms, a few offices …and as she did so a most familiar figure exited from one of these quarters talking causally with a collection of other doctors.  Gazing at the ground, she could feel his eyes on her, yet it soon passed as they had rounded the corner.  She could always feel the gaze of Sesshoumaru…

The halls grew more deserted, and quiet and soon they were in the far back of the hospital.  Opening a door that led down an unknown hallway Kagome shivered at the sudden cold.  No doubt, about fifteen years ago, this must have been the Emergency reception area—yet now it lay abandoned.  The door slammed and turning to look around she watched as Kouga made his way towards her, his eyes unseen as shadows covered his face.  

Slowly he crept her into a corner until there was no escape.  Becoming increasingly nervous as Kouga gazed into her eyes, she fumbled for words, "Kouga—what are you doing? Why are we here?"

"We are here, Kagome, so I can ask you a question and tell you a few things."  His arms were now lifted and leaning causally against the wall like that of the same night with Naraku.  She could feel his warmth surrounding her in such chill.  It was not as comforting as she would have hoped. Glancing nervously at his arms, she was aware how enclosed she was—and just by looking, there was no doubt strength that he possessed. 

"Well, then, tell me. I want to go."  Kagome began irritably.

"It won't take long."  Kouga shrugged moodily.

She waited in the deathly silence, yet he seemed perfectly content to gaze into her eyes.  His gaze was piercing, almost painfully so.  Then…finally…

"You don't love me, do you?"

"What?"  She questioned hurriedly, taken aback.

"You don't love me. Why?"  He had now begun to fiddle with strands of her hair, rubbing it between his fingers, testing the texture.  His eyes seemed to be inspecting every strand.

"Kouga—please, if this is some kind of joke…" Kagome started, her anger rising.

His eyes snapped back to her face.  They were full of anger, and perhaps contempt. "What do you mean?  Why would this be a joke?!"  His voice was angry, full of venom terrible mournful venom. "Why would I lie about something like this?  Why can't you love me?"

She breathed in sharply, "What do you mean…?"  It could not be. Not Kouga. 

"I have loved you since I first saw you.  Have you ever wondered why I hate it when you talk to other men?  Why I am always so nice to you, unlike other nurses, why I eat with you everyday, why I invite you places?  I did this because of you!  Because you are mine!"

He had leaned closer, and there bodies were now touching.  Kouga scowled fitfully as he glared at her, his voice on the breaking point, "Don't you see I would do anything for you? I want you to be happy, and here you are getting raped and you worry about Sesshoumaru!"

Kagome could find few words in which to combat him, "Kouga—you don't know anything about it—or him…"

"Oh, do I?"  He spat angrily.  

Opening her mouth to relate she found that there was no air in which to breath, only soft and tender moisture that was now surrounding her. His strong arms had encircled her frame squeezing gently against his chest.  His beautiful clean scent overpowered her. She could taste his love, so sweet, so beautiful, so delicious, she could feel it—and her heart broke as she realized for how long this had been going on.  For four years he had loved her?  Loved her faithfully.  It wouldn't be that hard to love him, would it?  To love him would make things so easy—her life would be uncomplicated, simple, practical, beautiful.  All this anger and frustration, guilt and sorrow would finally go away-- if she could just return his passionate kiss.  In addition, how much she wanted to—how much Kouga excited her.  His eyes, his lucid voice, his sculpted body.  Kouga had begun to dig deeper into her mouth, his tongue exploring, probing, sucking, her lack of emotion encouraging him on.  How glorious it felt…and how she could have returned in such equal passion.  All this could have been hers…all of this she could have been contented with…

…Realistically, though, she could not.

She could not love him, no matter how much she wished she could.

```````````````````````````

It was strange the way she had looked at that moment. Worried? Yes, but not quite right. Fearful? Yes, that too—yet it was anxious that he could best described her facial expression as.  Never had he seen her so distraught except for the day of Hiroaki's death—and never had he seen Nariya Kouga looking so self-confident, so smooth, so …so…

Something was obviously not right.

It was for this reason that as soon as he could possibly sneak away from the talking heads ,which Universities called doctors, that he retraced his steps and began on the hopefully fresh trail.  It was strange, yet this part of the hospital was deserted—mostly used for storage of chemicals and supplies as well as extra equipment.  It was eerily quiet as he walked through the white and faded gray halls.  Then, there had been a slam.  Quickening his pace, he artfully made his way to the door in time to see a shadow of movement evident through the waved glass.

What could be happening?

Curiosity, as well as pensiveness increased he strode to the door.  Arranging his features in a disinterested and un-amused way he leaned towards the pane of glass and gazed in.  What he saw he would have never expected.  Even he, Sesshoumaru, could not have thought this… It was deathly quiet, so deathly quiet.  Even his own footsteps were unheard as he hurriedly made his way to a more populated corridor of the hospital.  His body vibrating with anger at the indecency of it all he snapped irritably to a nearby doctor, "Tell someone who cares that I am done and I'm leaving."

"Yes, sensei."

"Get out of my sight."

The doors flapped behind him as he made his way out onto the pouring rain.  The cold dark sheets of water. 

That ends chapter 14. Aw, poor Sesshie. Its all full of misunderstandings, ain't it?  Poor Kouga, some one needs to write a K + K fic. *and no, not Kikyou and Kagome all you yuri freaks. Gahhhhhh…* that is just nasty. I meant, Kagome and Kouga…I feel so sorry for the poor guy…..


	16. Chapter 15: the knowledge

An: woah, the first part of this chapter is mostly dialog here. Sorry about that, and sorry if I use the describing words over and over again.  Also, sorry for the OOC ness of IY in the first part…he would be more violent, yes.

Notes on the dubbed anime: what is up with Sesshoumaru voice? What is up with Kagome's voice? She sounds like a frinkin 7 year old. Why do they pronounce his name "SEY-SHOW-marUU?" Why do they pronounce Inuyasha's name, "IKNUUYASHAH."? *shakes head* my god..my god…*continues to boycott* 

Declaimers: I dun own it.     

Forgotten Wish

Chapter 15

Damn.

Damn it all, and everyone along with it.

Bitterly, frantically, Sesshoumaru pushed his way through the never-ending Tokyo crowds. People yelled at him as he passed, others cursed him—yet one glance from his scowling face made mutes out of all of them.

It was as though everything was crumbling through his fingers. Had he no control over anything in his life?  Even he, it seemed, could not control himself or his actions.  Never had he been so worked up over something.  Walking in long strides to release some of his rage, he quickly took a stroll through a quieter district of Tokyo, which led, eventually to his apartment.  The streets were littered with fresh snow, and bare trees whispered above him.  It was strangely fitting this depressive and ominous mood.  

What was this disappointment and utter loss…after all, this was Kagome Higurashi his childhood friend.  What did it matter what relationships she was involved in?

What had he just seen?  He had seen something he had never expected.  Passion.  Passion in the sterol white halls of the hospital.  He had seen Kouga and Kagome embraced, he had seen the tenderness which lay between them.  Was this somehow his doing?  Had his influence somehow drastically changed the sweet girl he had known as a child?  Did he have to destroy everything he touched…?

Gliding up the stairs, trying to control his anger as best he could, he searched in his pocket for his keys.  Finding them, he hurriedly let himself into his apartment.  What he would find shocked him beyond words, if he had any to give.

"Your landlord let me in."  The familiar voice of his stepbrother explained.  It was a most disgusting scene—the bastard sprawled lazily over his black leather couch, his face one of bitter amusement.

Snatching the mask of annoyance—unlike the rage he was so obviously feeling, he questioned bitterly, "What are you doing here?"

"I came here to have a chat."  Was that sarcasm in his idiotic brothers voice?  Was his brother actually remaining even-tempered?  There was anger in his eyes, yet a restrained one at that.  Had the world suddenly turned topsy turvy?  Had reality been thrown out the window?  What was happening…?

"I don't have time for it now."  He replied noncommittally as he took off his jacket and began to unbutton the cuffs of his shirt.  A good hot shower would do him good now.  He needed to wash away everything—perhaps, perhaps things would be different. Hah, how unrealistic though.  If you wanted your problems to go away, they would not do so for your will.  My my, how soft he had become. Where had his impregnable shell dissipated to?

"Oh. Really?  Well, that's just too bad."  Inu Yasha smirked as he studied a piece of hair for a moment ignoring Sesshoumaru completely.

"What did you say to me?"  Sesshoumaru snarled angrily as he stepped precariously close to the edge of loosing all control.

"I came here to talk.  You are not going anywhere. It's about to snow again. You are staying right here, Sesshoumaru."  It was a command.  A vengeful, impatient, command.

Sesshoumaru regarded his brother warily for a moment.  Whatever his brother had to say couldn't be as shocking as what he had just witnessed.  Striding over to the nearby kitchen, he began to prepare for a pot of tea.  If he couldn't have his blasted shower he would sure as hell have a cup of tea. Heaving an irked sigh, he finally acknowledged in defeat, "Get it over with. I have no time for the likes of you."

His brother chuckled menacingly, then, adjusting his position on the couch he began, "Really, I only came here for one reason. And no, I didn't want to bond or any of that crap.  For all I care we could go on hating each other for the rest of our life.  If this is the Gods will, then so be it. I couldn't give a damn."

Shrugging Sesshoumaru acknowledged his words.

It was amusing the way he had put it.  Ah, and Sesshoumaru would never admit how much he agreed. To agree with someone would only bring mutual respect—after respect came friendship, after friendship…love.  He would never love his brother in such a way.  He had been satisfied to think that the bastard was a drug dealer down in Osaka.  

"Well then, why are you here?"  He questioned softly as he gazed unseeingly out the kitchen window.  Her face still floated in front of his eyes.  How mesmerizing the eyes had become…How beautiful…

"I am here because I want to know where he is buried."

Ah. So that was the reason.  No words of regret. No apologies for making his childhood a living hell.  No, that was not the reason.  Inu Yasha wanted to know where his father was buried—and this was a reasonable request.

"Amami o Shima, at the top of a hill right off of Kantou Street."  Sesshoumaru responded automatically, "His grave is marked by a tombstone which states his name."  Facing the figure he allowed some annoyance to show, "Now, Inu Yasha, is that it?"

The figure was quiet, as though contemplating about what should happen next. Indeed…what would happen…?  What new plot would unfold beneath his eyes?  The kettle began to boil and swiftly taking it off the gas burner he expertly, and with the greatest of practiced ease, poured it into a teapot etched with chrysanthemums. He had let the water heat too long—one should always stop right before the boiling point. However untraditional it sounded, and tasted, he was not in the mood for green tea.  Perhaps Ceylon was more to his liking.

"Sesshoumaru…" his brother called, quietly, his voice full of whispers of secrets he would in moments find out.

"What is it now?"  He mumbled richly as he sprinkled a bit of the tea into the pot.

"Did she tell you?"  Once again, the quiet mournful quality.

"Who is 'she', Inu Yasha?  To be able to understand you I must have names—not 'her' and 'she'."  Sesshoumaru said flippantly as he faced his brother and seated himself at a bar stool as he waited for the tea to seep.

"Kagome! Who the hell else would I be talking about?"  Inu Yasha spat, his temper beginning to loose control. One could see it visibly in his face, his body, his eyes.

"No, 'Kagome' did not 'tell' me anything, nor would I care to know."  Sesshoumaru responded annoyed, then, adding, "I am sure I know a few things about her that you don't."

"Oh? Really?"  Inu Yasha sneered. "Like what?"

He found himself laughing to inwardly.  Ah, so, his brother was jealous—but of the wrong person, it would seem.  The fight was between Kouga and his brother; he was in no way involved.  This was the way it would be—even she herself had said it.  Whatever bond they had shared on the island was over.  Now they were just co-workers.  Co-workers exchanged gossip, so, why not?

Damn, he had let his tea seep too long. 

"For example, I presume she told you she grew up on island."  Sesshoumaru began slowly enjoying the slow pressure he was applying. 

"Yes, she told me."  Inu Yasha grumbled apprehensively.

"Yes. No doubt.  Did she tell you she lived on Amami O Shima?"  Yes, did she?  Did she reveal such a secret to even him, Inu Yasha?

"No, she didn't. Amami…O Shima…? But—wasn't that…"  Inu Yasha murmured to himself, his eyes moving nervously.

"Very good.  I suppose she forgot to mention that we met as children and there my dad died."  Sesshoumaru admitted.

"No. She left that out. But who cares?  You were what, eleven? Twelve?"  Inu Yasha guessed trying to still remain at ease.  "In any case I've been to her apartment—I saw the picture on the beach, only one person could look like me so much."

"Yes, who would care?  However, I do believe you would indeed care when I tell you that we promised to marry when adults."  Sesshoumaru smirked as he poured himself a cup of tea.  Why had he been in Kagome's apartment?  And, for that matter, how dare he say they resembled one another.

Inu Yasha could have been Mt. Saint Helen blowing up.  It was actually quite amusing watching his reaction—his body tensing up, his eyes bulging out, and sneer coming to his lips.

"WHAT?"

"Don't worry though, dear bother."  Sesshoumaru chuckled, "We are no longer held by such bonds.  She destroyed them herself."

And how relaxed he became. So relaxed that he even added, "I wonder why. You were a cute kid—but what a monster you grew into."

"No one is perfect."  He shrugged. Even he would not claim such a role.

There was a long, not unpleasant, pause that resided through the house at that moment.  Yet, as time wore on so did the pressure.  Sesshoumaru could feel it slowly begin to press against his body, slowly, slowly, slowly.

His brother moved forward and rested his elbows on his knees in an effort to try to explain whatever he was about to say. "Sesshoumaru…"

He made no response. Perhaps he would leave. Yes, perhaps he would leave. How wonderful that would be, wouldn't it? However, his presence was slowly beginning to calm his agitated nerves from earlier in the day. So, maybe, he could stay a bit longer. Just a bit.  Inu Yasha was nothing he wanted to get used to. 

"Tell me or not. But whatever you do, make a decision." Sesshoumaru said primly as he took a sip from the tea.

"About Kagome…" Inu Yasha breathed.

"Yes, about Kagome. What?"  Sesshoumaru hurried. Really, he hated this….

It was indeed quite terrible.

"Well…" he was stalling.  Had regret so quickly began? Yet, his brother must finish what he had begun.  He would be a coward if he did not. 

"Spit it out, damn it."  Sesshoumaru cursed angrily.  Either the boy was going to tell him or not—but a decision must be made. Now.  He was growing increasingly tired of the louse's presence.

"Did she tell you about Naraku?"  His brother suddenly questioned hurriedly.

Who was Naraku?  Speaking just that, Inu Yasha looked slightly astonished, then, as though speaking to himself, "I would have expected she would have told _you_…"

"Told me what?"  Was Naraku yet another one of her lovers?  Kagome was slowly beginning to become tinted in his eyes—never had he imagined her such to be such a woman. Inu Yasha, Kouga, and 'Naraku'"

"A night in an alley.  How he nearly raped her."  Inu Yasha's eyes now bore down into Sesshoumaru's own, as the information was publicly known.

"Your sense of humor does not amuse me at all.  If this is what you have come for, leave. Now." Sesshoumaru spat vengefully at his brother swiftly standing up, his empty teacup in hand.

"Why would I make that up?  You think I enjoy saying this!"  Inu Yasha roared angrily, excepting the silent challenge, as he jumped off from the couch.

Sesshoumaru angrily studied his brother's eyes.  Yes, perhaps there was truth in them.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"How do you know?"

"I was walking by and stopped him.  If it makes you feel better, I beat him an inch away from death."

Somehow, a very interesting sensation was crawling over his body.  He felt as though he was falling down into an extremely large and dark pit while hatred consumed his body.  When had this happened?  Why had it happened?  Who was this Naraku…? Why hadn't she told him?

Well, the last of the questions was rather obvious.  Most of the time, he treated her with indifference—and even when there were (dare he call them 'tender'?) moments it seemed as though there was always someone separating them—a certain doctor, a certain female doctor.

Bringing his hand up to his face to massage his temples, he questioned very, very softly, "When did this happen?"

"November twenty-second." Inu Yasha replied after a moment.

November twenty-second—the next day would have been the twenty-third…the day Hiroaki died.

And how coldly he had treated her.  How unaware of her condition he was.  How callous…This was unbelievable. Simply unbelievable. Looking back in his behavior made him want to wretch.  He had so easily jumped to conclusions, so easily slapped her in the face.  He had been cruel, unforgiving.  He had been even lower than Naraku.

Guilt would not even begin to describe what he felt.

"My god…" was all he could say.

"That is all there is to say—except, word has it around the hospital that Kagome and I are a couple."  Inu Yasha smirked gently as he made his way to the exit.  Glancing over his shoulder the brother's golden eyes met and he grinned, "This has yet to be seen.  You are slowly disappearing to Kagome…you will not find your happiness with her. If…anyone…"

There was a hard, cold silence.  Then, "Ah, look—the rain has turned to snow.  If you go out, be careful.  The most prized doctor would be sorely missed at the hospital if something happens."

An angry laugh, then, "That's bull shit if I have ever heard it."

Shrugging, Inu Yasha smirked, "Couldn't blame me for trying. Thanks for telling me about where the grave was."

"Please…leave now."

Closing his eyes, he rested his head in his hands.

```````````

People who have an intelligent appearance will not be outstanding even if they do something good, and if they do something normal, people will think them lacking.  But a person who is thought of as having a gentle disposition does a slightly good thing, he will be praised by people. ~ From the eleventh chapter of Hagakure, by Yamamoto Tsunetomo. 

_```````````_

He fingered the small ring of his childhood in his hand.  It once had been cool to the touch, yet now it was warm, its pleasant cooling sensation having dissipated.  Glancing to the left, he starred blankly out the window at the falling snow in the weak light of dawn.  Having stayed up all night had finally taken its toll on his body.  Rousing what energy he had left, he opened the refrigerator and took out a small can.  He gazed at it for a moment. It was one of those beverages he hated—the kind that the businessmen took to save themselves from exhaustion with the long hours they put it. An 'energy boost' drink.  However, he could not miss work, and he did not want to in the first place.  Many things had to be sorted out today—many questions answered, and perhaps one apology given. One apology in particular. 

Yet, none of this would work if he did not get some form of rest.  Regarding his watch, he decided that there was reasonably two and a half hours before he would normally get up—and he would make good use of them.  Fingering the ring as he settled down onto the couch, he positioned himself in a reasonably comfortable way.  Closing his eyes, he immediately snapped them open.  There was someone he had overlooked in this grand scale—the most minute of characters could make all the difference.

Kikyou was not forgotten as easily as that.  

There was something that had been said, something he had over heard some time ago.  Something he had been meaning to ask about, something, which had been tapping on his mind—and now, he remembered the conversation he had overheard.

_"I have been meaning to ask you about Kikyou."_

_"Yes, what about her?"_

_"What did she want to talk to you about…that time?"_

_"We should talk about this later…we do have company."_

Ito would surely know about the incident between Kagome and Kikyou—and he had inkling that it was deeper rooted than he had first thought.  Closing his eyes once again, he allowed himself to fall asleep, only to awake two hours and fifteen minutes later. It was still steadily snowing…

A world of whiteness…

```````

Ito's eyes were wide in surprise as he approached her directly first thing that morning.  Her eyes were nothing special—the typical black of the race, no hidden color upon closer inspection—no, just a wide, flat, expanse. Ito, on the whole, was the stereotype of her kind—she was pretty, but to call her beautiful would be a step too far.  Her figure was slim, yet there were no curves and her bust just managed to produce something appealing to the opposite of her sex.  Yet, it was her manner, that some supposed, was her major turn on.  She was kind to a fault, kind and sympathetic—yet most of all patient.

She had been surprised, no doubt, by Sesshoumaru approaching her in particular.  Trying to look professional, she flashed a bright smile (in which several crooked teeth appeared) and said sweetly, "Good morning, Okuda-san."

Social graces were necessary in a situation like this.  However daunting the challenge was, he must remain calm, despite his two hours and fifteen minutes of sleep.

"Good morning, Ito-san. How are you?"

"Well, I'm fine."  The nurse answered rather astonished.  Staring up at him in curiosity, but for the better part confusion, she asked in response, "And how are you?"

Which was better in the situation? Truth? Falseness?  Deciding on both, he answered, "Well, truth be told I have been better.  Not on the brink of insanity yet though."

The nurse had nodded uncomprehendingly, and Sesshoumaru winced as he reminded himself to not try to be too casual with Ito.  Ranks did have their good point, and so cutting strait to the point he began, "There is something I wish to speak to you about, immediately, in private."

"What?  Is it serious?"  Her kind nature already blinding him with its goodness.  One day, she would make a husband very happy with hot meals waiting after a long day of work. 

This was going to be hard.

Glancing behind and in front of him, he found that the halls were empty, except a man walking on crutches to the bathroom.

"Its about Higurashi…" he paused, then making the final leap, he continued, "And Takoage-san…"

The girl blinked, flushed, and looked down at the ground.  Her words had become mixed and mumbled, and trying to avoid the subject as best she could with a higher person in status than herself, she fumbled, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Firm.  That was the key word.  He could not scare her—yet he must relate the seriousness of the situation.  Trying again, he chose his words carefully.

"I need to know what Takoage said to Higurashi back in mid-November."  Adding in a bit of regret just for some believable quality of what he spoke he sighed dramatically, "I need to know if I must make amends. I am sure I have done Higurashi a great wrong."

That did it.  Ah, he should have been an actor.  No doubt, he would have been a great sensation.

Ito's eyes began to well up with tears in an unattractive way as her cheeks began to flush, "Oh, Okuda-san, it was terrible…" She paused sniffling momentarily, "Takoage confronted Kagome thinking that she was in a relationship with you.  Higurashi has never done anything wrong to Takoage, I am sure; it's just not like her.  Yet, Takoage is insistently rude and violent to her.  She made me tell Higurashi to meet her in the storage room, and when Kagome-chan came back she was nearly in tears—she was shaking, Okuda-san, shaking…!"

Rather taken aback by the passion of her confession he quickly scrambled to put the pieces together.  Obviously, Kikyou's jealousy of the intimacy (if there even was such a thing) between them, and in an effort to destroy the relationship she had confronted Kagome and had lashed out at her at work. 

What this girl had just spoken was probably a most treasured secret between the two, and Sesshomaru had to make sure that he proceeded carefully.  The girls were close because occasionally she had spoken of her as 'Kagome' and then even more astonishingly, 'Kagome-chan'.

In utmost seriousness he leaned forward and whispered, "Thank you.  It is just as I have thought.  Don't worry—I won't betray your trust."

Sidestepping her startled figure, he made his way down the hall.

Why was he acting this way? He felt so…disgustingly kind, and fake. 

Walking in long controlled strides he began his workday—yet only one person remained on his mind, despite the pain it gave him. 

```````` 

Sipping a cup of tea, she closed her eyes and let the sensation of the steam surrounding her face overpower her.  It was indeed such a lovely feeling, this warmth fighting desperately against such cold.  Gazing down at her watch it took her a moment to comprehend that she still had ten minutes left to her break.  A second after that she realized that in five days it would be Christmas Eve.  What would she do? She had bought her family presents and all, yet…would she remain in Tokyo or go and visit for the holiday?  She hadn't seen her mother since the Obon festival during the summer, and her brother had taken the train up a couple of times to see her—yet she felt as if she was drifting farther and farther away from her past.

Yet, perhaps this was way things were supposed to be. When a person grew up, these things were expected.

Taking another sip of the brew, she smiled gently down at her hands.  The scar had nearly faded and there was a normal tint to her skin where once, not so long ago,  deep blue and eggplant color.  Things were slowly healing themselves—things were finally beginning to thaw, and winter would soon be over for her.  

Glancing up at the door, she watched rather unemotionally as Sesshoumaru walked out onto the secluded deck.  He did not sit, but instead stood directly above her and she could feel his eyes glaring down at her.  Ah, but she was so tired. So tired of it all.  She did not want to play this game with him anymore.  Hadn't she told him it was over?  She would stick to her word—so despite the disapproving look he gave her she would not acknowledge it.  She would be as he had once been—detached.

What did it matter, after all?  What was the point of caring about him—he did not desire her company, friendship, or even love….

Yet, she still had to be sociable, or at least along those lines.  She could not completely ignore him; she would just ignore all the rude comments he would make.  It was not in her nature to ignore people when they so obviously desired her attention.

Tilting her face up she smiled and said, "Good afternoon, Okuda-san."

He had said nothing, yet this did not exactly come as a shock to her.  In spite of the angry expression she had expected, there was one of worry, and sorrow.  Even in all the emotions she had seen—never had she seen one so melancholy from Okuda.  It took her a moment to realize such information.  Closing her eyes she bent her head down—she could not look into such eyes, eyes such as his. 

"What do you want?"  It was a simple question. A simple question; and she wanted the truth.

"Are we on speaking terms now?"  his voice was calm, lucid, flowing. So very graceful in his accent.

"That was my impression." She grumbled irritably. "After a week of not speaking to me you decide to walk up and chat as though nothing has happened.  As though you didn't insult me, as though never slapped me…"  Things had been going so well today.  She had been in such a good mood.

Hoping off the bench, she angrily walked to the door, as her cup of tea lay on the bench.  A light wind had caught her hair, gently pulling it away from her flushed cheeks.

"Why didn't you tell me…about Naraku…"

She had frozen—her body motionless, her eyes wide in shock mixed with fear.  Sesshoumaru stood in front of her now, his body towering over her.  How fierce, how dangerous, how almost seductive her looked now with anger tinting his noble features. 

"Why didn't you tell me?"

A tear had fallen, she was only aware of this as it rolled down her cheek.  The world had disappeared and only he remained.  Him and his question. Staring down at the ground she whispered, "It was none of your concern…"

Another tear had fallen down her cheek and now onto the cobblestone ground making a hushed sound.  It stained its earthy color just as Naraku had stained her strength, torn it in one single action. 

"What do you mean, it was none of my concern?" there was anger, frustration hidden in-between worry. His eyes had now become soft and he stepped hesitantly forward, unsure of what his actions should be. 

Gazing up at him, cursing herself silently for her weakness, she replied firmly, "Would have gotten nearly raped have made you treat me any difference?  Would pity have marred my image?  You play no part in my life, and this was entirely by your choice. You can't just come into it now, now that you have heard the ugly truth."

"Kagome…" Sesshoumaru growled angrily. A sneer had appeared on his lips despite the serious look that resided in his eyes. 

"What? Why do you keep on doing this?  One moment you care—and the next you treat me like something that should be stepped on. I'm tired of this roller coaster…" she shouted angrily as one tear after another fell down her face.  Bitterly pushing him aside she hurried to the door—yet like that time before he grabbed hold onto her wrist.  Refusing to even look at him she moved not an inch—waiting…

"Either hate me or love me…but don't be so fickle." She sighed hollowly as streams of moisture continued to taint her perfection. 

Tears continued to fall…and the number only increased as he whispered…

"I'm sorry…"

Closing her quietly listened to his soft breath. 

Would his apology be good enough?

Hating herself. Despising herself. Torturing herself she managed to sob, "Are you…? Do you think this will make things alright?"

She was released from his embrace, and like a movie playing in her head, she had imagined her fantasy.  Him pulling her close, wrapping her in his arms, their lips meeting…the love and happiness that would follow.

But ah, so out of character that was.

Pushing her way to the door, she collapsed inside the halls.

``````````

AN: Basically, in this chapter, the shit hit the fan. Hence forth, there is a lack of romance, and happiness. Don't be scared! 


	17. Chapter 16: the darkness

AN: okay! Everyone go out and watch Last of the Mohicans! That is SUCH a good movie!! And I borrow a few lines from it. Daniel Day Louis (sp) is so hot….my god, if only he was younger, or I was older….O.o;; *cries* it such a good movie!!! Any who, I was talking to my father about Last of the Mohicans, and he was saying that you can actually 'feel there love' instead of 'them just wanting to have sex'. They actually cared about each other. (this is not to say there is no physical attraction)

This is what I am trying to go for in this chapter…a love, yet with a light veil of lust…lets see if I can accomplish this scene…

To the fans: this story is slowly winding up, and I surmise 2-3 more chapters. After that, I will go back to 'Shadow's Against the Shoji Screen'.  Its strange though, I consider Forgotten Wish by FAR a better work that CotM, yet it gets less reviews. *shrugs* well, who cares? I am grateful for all that love me! ^___^ THANKS!

Disclaimers: this is not mine. Damn. Damn the world and everything along with it. (sound familiar?)

Note: …guess what loveable, yet clueless, guy shows up this chapter? If you guessed Hojo you are correct. Let me remind you this the first time I have written him. I am trying to make him not *so* goody-two shoes and gullible.  He is amiable, yet more realistic and mature. He also is related to people you would not imagine. Some characters from the beginning chapters are making cameo appearances!

Forgotten Wish

Chapter 16

Scowling fitfully, Sesshoumaru pondered the question that had been laying on the edge of his mind for quite some time. Only now would he acknowledge its presence. Shifting uneasily he sighed, and allowed the question to break free, like a flood into his mind.

What was love?

People said it was an emotion, a physical feeling, an intellectual feeling. Narcissus had loved himself…yet, was that the love he was destined to have. A love in which he only loved himself?  Would his love be occasional physical contact with a female, or would it be something more, something deeper.

He had loved his mother, he had loved his father. Yet, he had long forgotten both the physical and psychological emotions that went along with it. He remembered that he had respected his father, looked up to him. He had worried for his mother, appreciated her small efforts to smile in spite of her tears. Were these the things which love was comprised of? Yet, surely there had to be more. Reasoning to himself—what did the word 'love' actually mean. Once anyone uttered the words things were taken so seriously, and it was as though a relationship had entered a completely new level. Yet, would such words ever be true on his part?

He was not particularly sure. And damn, he was beginning to regret ever thinking of such a topic. It was confusing as well as irritating him immensely.

Shifting on his bed he gazed out the window at the winter moon that resided just beyond the thin barrier. 

…love…how romantic a notion. Romantic, yes. Realistic, no…

`````

Something was changing in the air. Nothing noticeable, not yet, but a feeling that could be felt in your bones. This feeling of change. Perhaps it was the closeness of Christmas, which was fast approaching. One could feel the tension in the air; one could almost taste the sweetness of the season. Perhaps, it was that it was now officially deep winter and long days of snow were to be expected.

Nevertheless…there was change. 

Kagome gazing blankly out the subway window tried to remind herself to act normal. Work was going to be extremely difficult today. What, with Sesshoumaru and now Kouga…

She felt so guilty betraying his love. She knew how much it meant to loose something so precious, and to know that she was the cause of his sorrow stabbed at her mercilessly. How close her happiness had been. How ideal everything could have been if she had just returned his embrace. Kagome could have lived a normal life, a beautiful and simple life. Yet, she pondered, did she want her life to be typical? Did she want to play the loveable wife who cooked meals for her husband? Her brows furrowed together in a look of pondering. No, she did not want her life to be normal…she wanted to be happy….

Moreover, was this too much to ask? Why, she screamed, couldn't she just be content with the opportunities she was presented with? Why…did she feel so dissatisfied and anxious in life?

She could have been happy with one person…yet, that matter was already decided. Sesshoumaru would never care for her, and it was idiotic to think otherwise. She would have to get over him, slowly, ever slowly. She was the tree scorched by burns, but soon new leaves would cover all, and the pain she suffered would look as though it never existed. Yet, how excruciating it was to see his handsome face everywhere in the hospital, how agonizing it was to hear his voice whisper playfully in her ears, how terribly painful it was to listen to his name…

Closing her eyes, blocking out the crowds of Tokyo she asked herself—

How many things would you pursue if you knew you could not fail?

There was one thing in particular indeed. 

`````

Two eyes opened groggily and gazed at the phone for a moment. It took a second for the keeper of the brown eyes to realize that the phone was ringing. Digging his hand out of the soft down covers, he reached out into the cold frigid air that surrounded him. (He had forgotten to turn on the heater the night before.)

Finding his voice he answered, "H-Hello..?"

He did not get phone calls very much at this new residence. In fact, he couldn't remember if he had even received a call since he moved in a few months ago.

"Uh…Hojo-kun?" A voice asked slowly.

Blinking, and coughing slightly from his minor cold, he questioned, "Yes, this is Hojo…who is this?"

"Hojo? You sound so…different!" There was a giggle, then, "This is your cousin Shinko…!"

"Ah…Shinko! I have a cold, sorry…"

"Eh, is it really bad?"

Nibbling on his lower lip he mumbled, "Well, no, I'm fine. What's up?"

Not trying to be rude, but it was strange that she of all people should call him. Even though she too lived in Tokyo…the two hardly spoke. There was no doubt another motive to this phone call—besides such chit chat. 

"Well, I suppose you heard that Shippou fell off the roof about a month ago, and he needs someone to take him home today…etoh…"

"No problem. I need to get out any how." Hojo said amiably as he slowly made his way out of bed. "Night classes at the University don't let me get out much during the day, but now that vacation is here I suppose I should explore."

"Ah, I see." Shinko agreed, "Well, it would be great if you could pick him up and drop him off here…"

"Its not problem at all." He insisted. "Shippou is a good kid, and if his father would stop working for a moment maybe he would realize that as well."

"Thank you so much…mother has her ikebana class so…" Shinko artfully ignored his last comment. "…so the house will be empty until six. Is that a problem?"

Hojo, despite his cold, found himself laughing. Ah, yes, and ikebana was indeed so much more important than the welfare of her youngest cousin. Shrugging he replied, "No, we'll go somewhere."

"The room number is 212…"

"212, okay." Hojo repeated recording it to memory.

"Thanks so much Hojo-kun! Lets get together soon!"

"Sure." He agreed, "Say hello to your mother for me."

"Of course." She lied.

"Well, talk to you later." Hojo said calmly. 

"Un. Bai Bai." She said in her cute, yet high voice.

Then…dial tone. At the time, the conversation seemed to be taking forever. Yet, now on hindsight it was pitiful the words they had shared. Where had his wonderful speech and debate qualities from high school gone? 

Sighing he scratched his head…being a teacher during the day, and taking the University classes at the night was really taking its toll…and if he had to hear one more lecture about settling down with a nice girl—he would scream. People considered him past his prime, and teaching classes at night and sleeping during the day was not a particularly attractive lifestyle; for any girl.

Day after day, the same thing…Going to the hospital would be good for him. It would make him realize how lucky he was, despite his sorry excuse for a love life. 

Yet the sad part was he was still emotionally attached to his high school girl friend. Ah, so many possibilities down the drain…he could still remember her winning smile.

Turning on the tap water, he wondered to himself what Higurashi Kagome had been doing all these years…

It was strange, the way things worked out, wasn't it?

````````

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes yet promptly opened them again to stare at his ceiling. The actions his brother had partook in remained fresh in his mind. Of course, it was all blasphemy, and there could be no truth or logic: yet it remained steadily present in the far recesses of his thoughts for things he could not explain. Despite his apology, he had yet to feel that sigh of relief that would lift the shackles from off his heart. Despite his most heartfelt regrets the emotion remained, no matter what he tried or did. 

The moon was in its waxing stage, and staring at it blankly through his bedroom window, he felt a longing of utter discontent and anger coursing through his body. He could not explain it, for it was a purely physical emotion that even if he had wished to go into more detail it simply could not be done. Fingering the watery chain around his neck, he closed his eyes and let the cool presence calm him. Perhaps, it was not even the temperature of the chain, but the image that it conjured. 

He had noticed the ring around her neck from time to time, yet it was not until that moment in the park that the past and the present had finally joined. He slapped himself for stupidity …Biting back a sigh he tried not to curse. He felt extremely angry with himself, but more so than that, he felt as if he had lost something extremely important. It was as though there was a cord attached to his heart and another connected to Kagome. He could feel the distance slowly beginning, the pressure it had caused him…and now, the cord had snapped and he was bleeding internally.

It was her calming presence, no doubt, which he missed. Somehow, the death that surrounded him daily was washed gently off his shoulders and the world was seen for what it really was. A terribly heartbreakingly beautiful picture. Closing his eyes again he firmly resolved not to open them until morning.

She was not as innocent and ignorant as he had once thought her…

Suddenly, Sesshoumaru realized, Higurashi Kagome had grown up. Yet, he smirked, perhaps she had always been an adult and it was he who had suddenly had his world turned upside down. His brother's actions fresh in his mind he tried to remember them down to the last move. 

His brother had been lazily leaning against his doorframe contaminating it with his stupidity. 

As he had rounded the stairs, he had made the mistake of making eye contact. Sesshoumaru had closed his eyes and said calmly, "What are you doing here?"

His brother had taken a while to respond as he watched him unlock the door and put his keys back into his pocket. 

Like that time before, his brother's voice had been calm. To say it shocked him would have been an overstatement; yet, he was always somewhat surprised at the ways  the tables so drastically turned. Now, this time, he was the one to bite his tongue, his anger, his rage—and instead his brother stood next to him as calm as a chilled cucumber. 

"Can I come in?" the voice had asked.

Sesshoumaru swung his head and gazed at his brother for a long moment. Inu Yasha had the courage to stare at him directly in the eye. This was the test…and damn it, the bastard had passed. Turning the door handle he walked in calling lowly, surprised at his own cutthroat tone, "Close it." The scene still danced madly in front of his eyes. Their taunting bodies coming together as one. The passion outlining their forms. It still smirked so seductively at him. And damn his weakness, he could not look away. 

Closing his eyes, he was aware of his brother gently shutting the door behind him. Despite how much he despised the lump of flesh,…he found himself yearning for something…anything…anything to hide that scene. Glancing warily over his shoulder, he found that there was no one behind him. Rousing his voice he called out, "Inu Yasha."

No response.

Ah, so he too had left him as well…It was of no matter. He had grown soft in these past months, a weakness he would have to overcome. Scowling fitfully, he bitterly threw his coat at the window, and then grabbing the next available object, he flung the solid glass vase bitterly against the wall where it shattered in an array of blue green prisms. Blood mingled with the color of his shirt, and gingerly touching his cheek he found that a long gash had been implanted there. Nothing so deep that it would not be fine within a few days…yet never the less…it would scar.

Gazing down at the brilliant scarlet he closed his eyes and knelt against the counter for support. His body trembling he tried to regain his mental strength and overcome the pain that he felt against his heart. 

The crimson liquid spilled forth from the slice on his skin, dripping down the curve of his cheek and onto the white of the cotton—yet all such events were unnoticed. 

`````````` 

What had been the purpose of his brother's strange visit? …Why did he feel so unsure about whatever steps he would take? Somehow, he had a feeling that the appearance of his kin was more than he had bargained for. That was to say…somehow he felt as though by opening the door a challenge had been made. A challenge that perhaps he was not even aware of…

Fingering the fresh cut on his cheek he sighed. What had happened to his control? For that matter, what had happened to him? He hardly recognized himself anymore…who was this strange being? This strange, weak, emotional being? Sesshoumaru hoisted himself up from his bed and gazed intently down at his hands. His golden orbs were alight with a strange, brooding fire, his lips were tossed down in a scowl, and his whole body was taut with some indefinable emotion. It resembled anger…yet, not quite…no, such an emotion could only be passion.

Closing his eyes he tried to block out her figure, yet he could not. He wanted her, despite every sense of logic he held. He wanted her…

`````````

Knocking lightly on the door, Hojo stepped into the room. The bright eyed kid of nine or ten jumped up and a broad smile formed on his lips, "Hojo!"

Flashing a genuine smile, he made his way to the bed and sat down beside it. "How are you feeling?" Looking at his cousin, he was amazed at how much the kid had a lust for life. How, even in the face of his fears of the hospital he remained so friendly, and jovial. As he gazed at his cousin, he realized how long it had been since he had actually seen him. It was much, much too long indeed. How much he had grown, and when he became an adult how handsome he would become.

"Bored. They don't let me do anything." He pouted crossing his arms.

"Well, how about we go to Asakasa after I take care of the paper work, eh?"

"Asakasa! Really!?" the little boy gushed excitedly.

"Sure. I mean, you have been cooped up in here for a while now…so, why not?" he explained as he glanced down at the wool blankets that were tossed carelessly to the side of the bed. Shippou gazed at him, his umber eyes glowing in happy excitement. He had been born with such eyes, a gift, which Hojo wished, he could hold. A quiet elderly nurse came in and handed him a clipboard on which a collection of three of four pages were attached. 

```````

Sesshoumaru watched her figure from across the room. The graceful elegance in which she walked was rather stunning to the seemingly endless numbers of slouches he saw continually. The way her hips moved and the fluid motion of her body was almost goddess like. He, Sesshoumaru, knew that she was aware of the attention she received and more than once he saw her blue eyes casually flick over his frame in apprehension. Resting his head against his palm, he closed his eyes and tried to forget about Higurashi Kagome. After all, what was she to him? Why did she affect him in such a way? The emotion he felt for her was difficult to describe and he could find no words in which to do so. Nevertheless, it was unique in every aspect and it was terribly irksome not knowing the cause. What did it matter if he found her attractive? What did it matter if his thoughts wandered to her? What…was happening to him? He was loosing his power over people, he could tell, instead of the public cowering in fear as he walked through the halls he could see the beginnings of timid smiles. What this what he desired?

Subconsciously he had been listening to her soothing voice, and finally focusing in he was able to hear the dregs of the conversation. "I am going down to my families house on Christmas Day…the subways will be busy on Christmas Eve any how…"

Ito made a noise of agreement, then chirped, "Eh…How fast Christmas has come this year."

"Yes, I know what you mean. I have been so…" she paused, trying to think of the correct word. Sesshoumaru's fixed gaze remained on her and purposefully wrenching her head out of his line of vision she continued, "…so busy. But, I suppose that is for the better." Ito glanced behind her shoulder down the hall, her face grimacing slightly. 

"Oh no, here comes Takoage-san. We better go start our rounds." Ito whispered hurriedly as she grabbed the two clipboards. Kagome nodded, then quickly glancing over her shoulder she found that their eyes had met. There was something different…something different and deeper in his eyes.

Ito whispered hurriedly, "Kagome-chan!"

Fumbling she made her way forward, gulping, "Sorry…"

What was the emotion he had seen flare momentarily in her eyes? Why did it regard him so differently…well, he mused, that was obvious. For the past few months he had treated her in a most unforgivable manner, and now he had to pay the consequences. Somehow, his cold demeanor had affected him more than he could tell and the wound had reopened with an alarming pain. It was just so unfortunate…now that…Stifling a sigh of annoyance at the entrance of Kikyou he arranged his features and reading material so as to suggest that he was diligently studying something, as he aught to have been doing in the first place.

As soon as she had entered, the room one could smell her. It was a sickly smell that some men must have found attractive, but the sweetness and overall musky quality seemed to bring about an almost gagging quality to the scent. The swish of fabric could be heard, then a moment of silence. No doubt Kikyou was looking down at him from above, waiting for her presence to be acknowledged. If he just stayed reading perhaps she would explode from anger…..This was not to be the case, for a second later pressure was applied to his back as no doubt she her pushed her ample breasts into his backside. This was her oh so discreet way of offering herself. Moreover, perhaps if Kikyou possessed a personality and demeanor as Kagome he would have long had his way with her—then again, Kagome did not offer herself like some transvestite on the street. Like a spider strangling its prey she wrapped her arms about his neck and whispered into his ear, "Sesshoumaru…"

Tossing down the book he stiffened as he spat, "What do you want Kikyou?"

He noticed moisture on his ear as she had begun to nibble it, in what she supposed was an attractive way.

"You…" she whispered hoarsely.

Swiftly he pushed the desk away from his form to give him room to stand up. The noise and sudden movement startled the vampire-like creature and for the briefest of seconds, she had pulled away from his body. He had taken that opportunity to quickly stand up, causing her to stumble and loose her balance, clinging to the wall for support.

Facing her now, Sesshoumaru sneered poisonously, "What gave you the idea? Who planted that notion in your head?" The lampshade swung topsy-turvy until finally it subsided. 

"What ever do you mean?" Kikyou smiled softly having regained her composure. He observed that Kikyou had dressed in particularly provocative manner today, no doubt for his "supposed" benefit. He watched indifferently as she ran her hands along one of her breasts, then sliding it down her abdomen she allowed it to plant itself on her waist. 

"You know exactly what I mean." Sesshoumaru hissed irritably his eyes blazing, his form having taken on something otherworldly, almost demonic.

"Please…do explain." Kikyou encouraged as she began to take long strides across the room, purposefully swaying her hips more than usual.

"I am tired of this. So tired of you and this game you play. For four years now you have thought we were a couple. And, perhaps in the beginning, before I knew your true character I found you somewhat attractive." Sesshoumaru admitted shamefully. "But that was only because you bore great resemblance to someone else. To put it in words you will understand, you bitch: Leave me alone. I don't love you, nor will I ever. To me you are worthless scum, even more so than homeless people out on the street. You don't deserve any attention or love. This is the final time I shall warn you…" he paused his voice slashing angrily at her walls, "Or you will regret it…." Sesshoumaru's eyes had taken on a steely texture as though in the next moment, his fingers would suddenly transform into claws, and he would joyfully hack at her neck. He would lick the blood from his fingers, watching as the tortured expression was permanently etched on her face as she fell to the ground, only to be discovered the next day. 

Bitterly he gave one last look at the pathetic creature before walking down the hall to take care of a patient. Had that gotten through her thick skull…? Only time would tell. Desperately wanting to hit something he satisfied himself will a long drink of water. Adrenaline was coursing through his skin, causing him to itch irritably. Perhaps it was not adrenaline, but nervousness. He felt hot, bothered, irritable.

By the time he had made it to the patient's room, he was calm, cool, collected. Opening the door, he said fluidly, "Good morning Shippou. Glad to be going home?"

The boy flashed a wide grin and exclaimed, "Of course! I can't wait to be out of here…!"

Sesshoumaru grinned wryly. Ah, the same could be said for him as well. 

```

Hojo eyed the doctor from his seat on the bed. Although being completely heterosexual, he could not help but notice how handsome the man was. There were few such men living in Japan that could acquire such beauty and grace, while still classifying him in a manly way. Another matter was the most perplexing color of his hair, it was white like that of an albino; yet his skin had pigment, and his eyes a most unfamiliar color of gold. Wondering if possibly he was wearing contacts and had dyed his hair, he could not help staring. After all, he was just a simple country boy from Kobe. 

The doctor's gaze had turned to him, his peculiarly colored eyes glinting ever so slightly. The man bowed slightly and flustering he stood up and exchanged the ritual. The man had taken out of his breast pocket a pair of sleek designer glasses and placed them onto his face. In a very business like way, yet not very rude, "My name is Okuda Sesshoumaru, I have been Shippou's doctor for the past month."

"I'm Hojo—" he was interrupted as the bed squeaked a tad as Shippou adjusted himself.

"Well, Hojo-san." Okuda began briskly studying his charts, "Besides the paper work I need to give you, because you are not of direct relation, you might be detained."

"How long will that take?" Hojo asked cordially, hoping it would not take too long. He had places to go, people to see.

"Not too long…five to ten minutes." The doctor said as he began to flip through his notebook.

"That's fine anyhow! I need to go say goodbye to some friends I made." Shippou chirped as he hopped out of the bed and made his way towards the door. Hojo watched the boy scuttle along the slippery tile, then, his eyes falling back to Okuda he found the doctor was flipping hurriedly through his notebook filled with an ample amount of multicolored paper.

"Its seems that I have run out of forms, I will see if I can go get some. If I am not back in a few moments, please ask a nurse and she will assist you. Often I get called away because I also work within the nurses sector and the emergency room." The doctor had taken off his glasses and was gazing at his form. For some reason Hojo got the feeling this doctor did not naturally have bad eye site. On the contrary, he was beginning to speculate if those glasses were not for show. He had to admit they did give him a more doctor and business-like look. (Instead of something that just walked out of Shinjuku, a large pocketknife still residing in his boot incase of any unexpected surprises in dark alley's)

"It is no problem." Hojo smiled.

The man left, and Hojo grinned to himself. Despite the cold demeanor of the doctor, as well as the interesting physical appearance, he had to admire his strength. The strength to be so composed around so much pain and death. Ah, that was indeed power.

```````

Kagome glanced into a drawer of a hospital room. "Eh…none here either…"

Ito blinked, "That is very strange. I could have sworn we just put some in…"

Kagome gazed down at the empty cabinet. Yes, there was no gauze anywhere in the room at all. Glancing up at Ito who was arranging a patient's pillow she sighed, "I will go get some more from the supply room." Ito smiled wryly, "Sorry about that. I told Shizuka-chan to put some in, I guess she forgot." Kagome found herself laughing, "Remember when we first came…? We forgot nearly everything and virtually had accidents everyday." A few patients in the large room exchanged amused glances. Kagome checking the few remaining cabinets shrugged, "Its not big deal. I'll be right back."

Ito called after her as she closed the door, "Just bring it after your lunch break, okay? Its in five minutes any how." Kagome bowed slightly acknowledging it, and then continued to walk down the hall. She felt as though something extremely eventful was about to take place, and it caused her blood to tingle in anticipation. Stepping lightly she rounded the corner and gazed apprehensively at the storage room. Why was it so strange she always became nervous around it? It was just a small room in which a few shelves of supplies were kept for easy use, right? It was just a storage room like any other. Yet, perhaps it was the confrontation from Kikyou. She could still remember the words and the dangerous almost psychotic look in her eyes. How hard and steely her voice had become, how venomous. Did Sesshoumaru mean that much to her, or was it a game Kikyou enjoyed for pleasure? Shivering slightly she turned the door handle, unaware of the impact the following events would have. 

`````

"Well…that's done…" Hojo breathed a sigh of relief as he signed his signature on the last page. The doctor had taken a while to return, so upon his suggestion he had requested the forms from a young nurse who was happy to oblige. Shippou too, had yet to return and that irked him, considering that nature was knocking on his door. He knew he should not have had three cups of tea without any rice…Getting up from the seat he was perched on, he walked over to the doorway and glanced up and down the hallway. No sign of Shippou…damn it all. 

Scowling he approached a nurse and said in a most pleasant voice, "Excuse me, but I will be right back. If the person in room 212 comes back, could you tell him that Hojo will be right back?"

"Hojo? And your relation is what?"

He paused, sweating slightly. They were somewhat nosy, "I am his cousin."  
The lady then smiled sweetly, and replied, "Why of course! Shippou is such a nice little boy."

Nodding Hojo backed slowly away and hurried off in search of a bathroom, which, he would soon learn, would be easier said than done…

````````

The blinds were slightly crumpled, (as not so perfect hospital managers would have liked). Yet, due to the death of the light bulb overhead, the filtered rays of grayish light were allowed to enter into the dark room, casting a small rectangle onto the tile floor.

Walking to a shelf, she noticed movement, and pausing she stayed perfectly still. Yet again, the sound, the hushed movement of fabric. Glancing up warily, she questioned nervously, "Hello…?"

The figure stepped forward, his shoes slightly tapping against the ground. His features slowly were revealed, one painstakingly at a time. His eyes were glaring intensely at her, neither full of hate or pity. There was a depth and a darkness to them that matched the room around her.

"Sesshouamru…" Kagome breathed with a sigh of relief. A small smile tugged at her lips as she confided, "I thought it might have been a killer or something…"

Sesshoumaru made no reply, but instead silently watched her as she walked to a shelf to again begin her search. He was painfully aware of the way the silver strands of light intertwined with her hair, and the way the shadows accentuated her figure from beneath the dowdy uniform. He could not look away—it was like some hypnotic performance that he had to see out to the end. Would he be the leading man, or the understudy hidden from the audiences view? Musing on that thought, he continued to study and memorize the workings and shape that she possessed.

Kagome glanced up every now and again as her search for the gauze continued. Why hadn't she listened to Ito? She could have gone to lunch break and then returned an hour later when Sesshoumaru, no doubt, would not be in the room. It was too late, so what was the point of wishing it to be that way. What was the point of wishes? Kagome tried not to acknowledge his presence; for if she glanced too long she had a feeling she would and could not look away. How different he was becoming—or was this just her mind telling her these feelings? Was she creating his emotions, her fantasy?

Finding the gauze, she realized that slowly without her aware of it, Sesshoumaru had enclosed her against the back wall, pinned in by a divider and a shelf. How stealthy, like a wolf hunting his prey, he moved.

"Excuse me…" she whispered making her way forward.

He would not move.

Backing away, she tried to stay amiable, formal. "Sesshoumaru, I need to get by."

His gaze deepened, and a slight attractive smile reached his lips. A few long strands of his hair had fallen over his eyes; giving him an untamed look. Yet what did it matter how he looked? Despite how striking…

"What are you doing?" Kagome whispered slowly backing against the wall. Why was it that so many things happened to her against walls? Was she that flighty, like a bird?

"I am looking at you." He replied simply, stepping closer.

His features were hard to read in the quasi-darkness of the room, and perhaps hers were as well….Sesshoumaru continued to move his way forward, his eyes glaring deeper and deeper into her soul. Her hand touched the cool slick surface of the partition silently she asked herself—what would happen next? 

Confusion. 

Had not he hated her? Hadn't he despised her? What was the sudden change that had overpowered him? Was this emotion anger for yet another deed that she had done to rile him so—or was it something else…something else that she dared not hope for? Hope would only bring longing, and her longing would bring her depression eventually.

Kagome asked herself quizzically; hadn't she gotten over Sesshoumaru? Why was his presence affecting her this way…? Why couldn't she just fall into his eyes…? 

Hope. 

She knew the sorrow that lay behind them. A sorrow she could not heal. 

Perhaps it was the same for her as well… 

Gazing up into his eyes, which were startlingly aflame, she could find no words for the actions he would soon take. Nor, did she want to. She wanted to fall into his deep depths, and perhaps if she wished enough she could…

Sesshoumaru gazed at her through his heavily lashed lids. Why was he acting so peculiar, and overall disgusting? Why couldn't he stop? Why did he want to continue? Higurashi's presence had once again overpowered him, her innocence, her youth, her intelligence, her beauty; her wit…all resided in this woman. Was this what he desired?

Almost too quickly, he had replied to the answer, and it shocked him how much he was being affected by her beauty. It was not just lust, although he would be the first to admit he did have a physical attraction to her; it was something deeper. A common bond the two possessed. He possessed…

Screw Kouga, Inu Yasha…for once in his life he wanted his happiness to come before anyone else's. Years of keeping quiet for his mother, perfect grades, the best colleges—which he had desired none. Now, for once, he had finally found his happiness…he never wanted to let go.

Sesshoumaru tried to remember when the last time he had actually shared something with someone. When he had actually smiled for pleasure; because he was happy. Where had such carefree days slowly dissolved to? Was spring slowly beginning in him once again? 

When the snow melts…it becomes spring. 

Yet, how could it be that she, Higurashi, was affecting him this way? Why were there were so many questions. An on going battle took place in his head, until finally he clung mercilessly to the two oppositions. Why must he think things out all the time? Was it so indecent to act upon ones emotions, as he was doing now?

No, perhaps not.

Once again, he was aware of her face gazing up at him, her forehead laced with her ebony hair. He wanted to touch that skin, her unblemished skin. He wanted her for his own.

``````

His touch was light, feathery against the coolness of Kagome's skin. His hand rested there for a moment before finally, gently, cupping both hands around her face. Leaning forward Sesshoumaru's mouth slowly formed her name, accentuating each syllable until it hung in the air around them.

Kagome titled her head slightly back and without comprehension let her eyes slowly flutter shut as Sesshoumaru leaned closer, his silver hair cascading over his shoulders. Sesshoumaru gazed warmly at the girl for a moment. How willingly she had accepted him…his emotion. Without questions she had known…allowing himself to smile softly, he leaned closer, anticipating the moment at which their lips would unite. 

How easily she had accepted something they silently knew.

```

How hard could it be? Yes, how hard could it be to have a god damn freaking' convenient bathroom around here! They were locked either for the doctors, or in the rooms in which patients resided. Walking hurriedly down the hall, he glanced anxiously at doors. Pausing for a split second, he noticed a door that might very well be his chance. Striding towards it, he reached out and turned the handle. 

The door had opened wide and peering inside he felt around for a light switch. One was found, yet it produced no such help. Hearing movement and a rustle he called out, "Hello?"

There were two figures close together; this was all he could tell. He might have presumed them to be kissing; yet this was not the case. There were no hurried movements of embarrassment. No coughs, no giggles…just utter silence except for their breath. As he would later find out, they were on the verge of such an action. Squinting as a figure in white emerged he found his breath lost inside his throat.

The voice was kind, soft, if not somewhat flustered by the sudden intrusion. "Yes, may I help you?" There could be no mistaking it…this voice that had haunted his dreams. He insisted that it could not be that this was the one and only. Stepping back into the brightly lit hallway, allowing the keeper of the voice to emerge he found himself mumbling, "I guess that isn't the bathroom." Casting his eyes down at the ground, he could not bring himself to look up.

There was a silence.

"Hojo…kun…?"

It was amazement. Astonishment. Incredulity. He could only feel the same sensation.

She had only increased in beauty. Kagome Higurashi had matured into a woman, and how beautiful she had become. There was a regal, composed, yet unconsciously kind and warm hearted aura which hung like a light mist around her frame. Her eyes sparkling with a life, her cheeks rosy with an emotion, which he hoped, would be her happiness to see him.

Before he had realized what had happened he felt her warmth surrounding him, overpowering memories of the past floating to the surface. "Hojo-kun! What a surprise!"

Hesitantly he returned her embrace, his eyes sliding uneasily to the figure that slowly slid out of the room. The look he was receiving was one had had never imagined existed. Absolute hate, disrespect, anger, irritation…The flash of these were only momentarily, and so he had to blink and wonder if he had just seen wrong. Yet, nevertheless despite his now emotionless appearance there was no doubt that this man, this tall imposing man, did not like him…and he could only guess why. 

AN: he he he he he…! ^_^ yah, yeah, I know…ya'll hate me for what I did. Hojo appeared out nowhere, didn't  he? Well, I had to wrap things up with him, considering I added him in the story some odd-chapters ago.  And anywho, he plays a crucial part in this story. A very crucial part in this story. (anyone wanna see Hojo get mad? Read the up coming chapter!) I also felt this chapter was rather rushed, despite the length. (which it is rather long, by my standards. O.O) ^_^ ha ha ha ha. Anywho, please review! (annnnnnnnnd Shippou returned! Didn't expect THAT, did ya? ^_~ Hey, its possible that they are related, okies!?) *sniffles*  Poor Sesshoumaru…Poor Kagome…so close. SO CLOSE!!!! 

Review, onegai shimasu ka?


	18. Chapter 17: the defiance

AN: Wow…how quickly did I make it to chapter 17? Well, this chapter is going to be a very crucial chapter in relationships, dealing mainly with Hojo, Kagome, and Sesshoumaru. You know what that means, right? If not, try. Also, guess who is making a cameo appearance in this chapter? If you guessed Miroku, you guessed right! I figured another male part was needed in this chapter, and Miroku is the only one available. (along with that, he works in REALLY nicely, considering Sango has gone to visit relatives.)  Anywho, thanks to all you loyal fans this story has become one of my fav's!!

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, I just pretend to. And I do a damn good job too. ^_~ jk. J/k

Note: the time sequence has gotten sort of funky. I am holding out for Christmas eve, so if it suddenly seems like x-mas has come and gone: its not. Trust me. Also, incase you forgot, Asakasa is a district in Tokyo. In addition, steering wheels are on the left side in Japan. And if Miroku sounds gay, I'm sorry. It is just so much fun to write him that way!!

And now…  

Forgotten Wish

Chapter 17

"K-Kagome??" Hojo stuttered as he pulled away from her figure.  He was sincerely trying not to notice the way her breasts touched his skin, the way her body and eyes affected him.  He was better than those perverts on the streets.  Arranging his features, he fumbled terribly, "What are you doing here?"

There was a laugh, a beautiful laugh, then her eyes in a liquid brilliance sparkled, "I work here! I have been for a while now."

"Eh…who would have thought? Higurashi Kagome, captain of the archery club, and all around best at everything, would be working as a nurse! It suits you! Too bad I was never one of your patients!"

The two laughed to one another, chatting amiably—and despite his personality Sesshoumaru felt as though he was being left out.  He had been so close inside the darkness of the room to admit his feelings towards her.  Perhaps his feelings only existed in darkness. Could he really let the whole world see how much he treasured her?  Could he let the world know his flaw?  His ears pricked almost instinctively as the man, classified as 'Hojo', smiled ,a winning smile at that, as he remarked on her past life in high school.  So, she had been captain of the archery club. He had never really pictured her as one, yet now the thought became more appealing.  He could etch the scene in his head; a moonlit night at some competition, her blue eyes narrowing, her body poised, graceful, taught with the inner strength she possessed.  It was extremely arousing. 

Smashing that thought like a cigarette, he gazed lazily about the hallway until he heard his name and glanced towards Kagome, her smile soft and beckoning as she looked at him.  There was warmth in those eyes.  

"Okuda-san…" she began hesitantly.

Ah, so we were back to these games.  Formality had been smashed atop of him and he answered briskly, "Yes, Higurashi?"

Beckoning him forward, he obliged and gazed down at the weak man that lay before him. 

"Okuda-san, this is an old friend of mine, Hojo—"

"I have met him before, although I had no idea that you two were so friendly."  He narrowed his eyes as he purposely tried to cause the man's head to spontaneously combust.

"Uh, yes, my cousin is in the hospital. Broken leg."  Hojo shrugged winningly.

Sesshoumaru glanced at Kagome's face as she in turn gazed warmly at this 'Hojo'. There was a different expression in her eyes, a respect, something nostalgic, happiness.  Never once had she looked at him this way.

Damn him and his weakness. What had it brought him?  His hopes, if there had been any, had been bitterly tossed aside.

Interrupting the conversation, he said icily, "If you will excuse me, I have other patients to attend to."

"Of course." Kagome mumbled.  Her eyes met his for a moment, but he, Sesshoumaru, would have none of that.  Now was not the time, if ever.  Wrenching his gaze away from her face, he tuned and began to walk down the hall.

"Thank you so much for what you have done to Shippou." Hojo bowed formally as Sesshoumaru quickly escaped from the scene that resembled something off a TV show for kids. It was just too revolting. Any respect that he had once possessed in this young man, which now stood by Kagome's side, had vanished.

There was an exclamation of surprise and Kagome exclaimed, "Shippou?  You know Shippou??"

"Why, he is my cousin."

"His father is manager at a restaurant?"

"The very one."

"Ehh…Isn't it funny how things work out." Kagome whispered in awe.

Yes, it was hilarious. Fucking hilarious.

````````

"Kagome!" Shippou squealed with happiness as he ran (still a little unsteadily) towards Kagome, who was approaching him as she walked the halls with her highschool friend.  Kneeling down, she smiled affectionately as she hugged the little boy that seemed to have grown up so much in the past years.

"It's been so long!" Kagome admitted as she gazed down at him.  The boy was radiant, his eyes hugging her face.  Then, his eyebrows drooped for a moment, as he said, "How come you never visit me anymore? You never come any more!"

Kagome tried to think of a reason.  Naraku had really been it, but she couldn't really say that, now could she?

"I'm sorry, Shippou-chan." She cooed, running her hands through his almost sandy colored hair, "Life has been so busy! However…" she paused, her eyes flicking up to Hojo, "Now that I know you are Hojo's cousin, I am sure we will be seeing more of each other."

"How did you know Hojo?" Shippou wondered curiously as he eyed the two. "Did you guys used to date??"

Hojo turned beat red, and a slight color came to Kagome's cheeks.  This boy was too clever, "Well, sort of. We were really good friends in high school."

Shippou nodded, digesting the information.  Kagome allowed herself to stand up, and gazed warmly between the two.  It was funny how she never really noticed the resemblance before.  The same bone structure, and deep brown eyes.

"Would you like to come with us to Asakasa?" Shippou suddenly exclaimed, his eyes lighting up like a firework.

"Really? Can I?" Kagome questioned sweetly to Shippou.

"Well, if its okay with Hojo, that is…" the boy admitted shyly.

Kagome cast her eyes onto Hojo.  Despite the number of years in which she had not seen him, she could still feel that his feelings towards her had not died.  This was most worrisome indeed.  Now she was still recovering from the incident that had nearly happened in the darkness. She could still feel Sesshoumaru's breath against her neck…still feel the longing in his eyes….

 She was scrambling to remain controlled, calm, regular old Kagome. 

What had happened in there?

"Its okay with me." Hojo grinned, flashing his winning smile.

"Well, let me go get changed." Kagome cautioned, "I wouldn't want to go outside in this flimsy outfit."

Hojo's cheeks became aflame.  Talking about the quality of the fabric was not a good idea.

"I'll be right back." Kagome called as she scurried to the changing room.

As soon as she had made it to the confines of the room, she leaned against the wall, breathing heavily.  Quickly washing her face, which made her feel somewhat better, she changed.  Today was the day for surprises, was it not? Not only with Sesshoumaru, but now she had seen Hojo…who tuned out to be Shippou's cousin!  Images of Naraku surrounded her, his dark eyes digging into her soul.  His hands running up and down the length of her body, his tongue exploring deeper and deeper into her mouth, causing her almost choke.

That was in the past.  He could no longer hurt her now.

Repressing a sigh, she quickly shed her clothes.  

`````

Twilight had fallen upon Tokyo, and with twilight came the return of Shippou to his elegant house.  Traditional grounds, composed of moss pathways leading off to some stunning sculpture, and carefully trimmed trees adorned the entryway to the most stunning house. Kagome would find out in years to come that Shippou's mother came from a wealthy family, and his father had played the Nikkei correctly, so well that when the bubble finally broke his losses only resulted in a few hundred thousand yen. Promising to see him again soon, Kagome waved goodbye, exchanging many hugs and kisses.  Smiling sincerely as a servant thanked them for all they had done (since Shippou did not get out much) Kagome introduced herself, and was extended an invitation from the family to visit anytime she wished.  Kagome promised she would, and Hojo and her left with beams gently washed onto their faces.

As they drove on the highway, Kagome found herself suddenly sullen.  Having had to play the cheerful nurse around the ever-knowing Shippou had proven difficult. Every now and then Hojo glanced at Kagome, his eyes soft and full of compassion.

"Uh…so, Kagome…" he began thickly, "How has life been for you?"

Smiling sadly at Hojo, she could find no words.

"That bad, eh?" he joked.

Kagome laughed softly, "Oh, not as bad as all that. I am strong, ne? I didn't get voted 'most likely to succeed' for nothing."

"And, 'most likely to get married by the time you were eighteen'. Whatever happened to that? You were a very desired girl at school…" Hojo questioned fitfully, rather astonished at the woman that lay before him.  She was, still, attractive as ever.  And he was most curious to hear how she of all people remained single in Tokyo.

Kagome grinned as she gently nudged Hojo's shoulder. "High school is very different from the real world."

"True." Hojo digested, switching lanes.

"Is there anything you want to talk about?" he offered merging into the off ramp.

Kagome watched the buildings blur by, their forms forgotten as soon as they passed.

"Nothing you could really help with."

"Oh?," Hojo said pitifully, "I bet I could. Try me."

"It's relating to your sex." Kagome giggled as she began to curiously search through the glove compartment, trying to not notice the glances that Hojo kept flashing her.

"Oh. 'Boy' problems." Hojo gulped, "Your right, I guess I am not much help there, am I?"

Kagome grinned at him, "Its not your fault. I can't expect you to turn homosexual for my sake."

"Hey!" Hojo laughed as he looked for a parking space.

"By the way, where are we??" Kagome questioned suddenly, craning her neck around to see if she recognized any of the structures.

"We are at a great coffee shop, where you can tell me all about it." Hojo admitted, taking the keys out of the ignition.

"You were always too good for me." Kagome retorted as she unbuckled her seatbelt.

"I know. That's part of my charm." Hojo winked, then, opening the door, he walked out onto the sidewalk.  Kagome, walking around the car, noticed how much the two of them had grown up.  In high school, it was all sex, 'who liked who', gossip…mindless ramblings from the mindless masses…  Was this actually a meaningful conversation?

`````

"Alright, 'night then." Hojo said he led Kagome to her apartment (still getting over the fact that they lived in the same building.) "It sounds weird saying this, but I am 'just down the hall', that is, if you need anything."

Kagome smirked, and gently kissed his forehead.  Her expression turning amused, she gushed, "I find it strange that we have lived in the apartment building for so long, and we weren't aware."

"Curse those night classes. Curse them." Hojo spat playfully; aware that he could almost still feel her lips against his brow. It tingled.

"Goodnight then, Hojo-kun." Kagome parted, closing the door.

Their chat in the coffee shop had been rather scandalous.  Having heard the whole history about 'Sesshoumaru', 'Inu Yasha' and 'Naraku' he had been put on one hell of a roller coaster which he could not get off of.  Pieces were falling into place each step he took, and with each passing second, his blood went a degree higher, close to boiling now.   The pain Kagome had suffered through the likes of Naraku and Sesshoumaru made him want to puke.  The fact that she loved Sesshoumaru was even more skeptical. Despite the way, the bastard had treated her, despite the game he played with her emotions; the girl had loved him like an idiot.  Hojo did not know whom he was more mad at; Naraku or Sesshoumaru. 

Considering that Naraku was probably in Shinjuku right now, getting his brains screwed silly at some club, he would have settled for Sesshoumaru.  No way I hell would  he go into Shinjuku, at night, to a club; he was just a simple boy from Kobe! However, either of the two could probably flatten him in less than five seconds, yet if he had the element of surprise with him, perhaps he could get in a good hard blow.  Ruin that perfect face of Sesshoumaru, with the damn scar that was so conveniently placed on his cheek, like some fucking ladies man samurai.  

Calm down, Hojo, calm down.

In taking a few breaths, he thought of all the other things in which he had granted from her.  How private these thoughts and feelings must have been, and he did admit he felt rather…privileged to be the one to receive such knowledge.  Obviously, Kagome had needed to get all this stress off her chest.  And who wouldn't want to?  After being on an disturbing ride through nursing school, meeting the boy your promised to marry, falling for him, his brother falling for you, getting nearly raped, another friend falling for you, getting slapped, and nearly kissing the guy you fell for—phew, it was indeed something that would certainly not cause ones stress level to fall. 

In addition, how was it that this other guy, this 'Kouga' lived in the same building?  He must have been WAY out of touch. Making a mental note to himself to 'get out more' he made his way down the hall.

He did not walk far when suddenly he was flattened against the wall.  Glancing up out of surprise he stuttered, "What the hell?!"  He felt two hands press him against the partition, pinning his shoulders.

"Who are you?" a deep smooth voice asked.

"The question is, who are you?"  Hojo burst, slightly flustered as he gazed into a man with dark eyes, his hair slightly resembling a person who, at some time during the day, had it slicked back, but now it fell behind his ears. "Are you Kouga?" he sputtered, remembering the guy lived in the same apartment building.

"Good heavens, no." the man said, releasing him and dusting off his hands.

"Well then, you are…?" Hojo supplied.

"I myself am Miroku. No doubt, Kagome had mentioned me.  Her best friends fiancé?"

Hojo blinked, "Uh…actually no."  He flashed over all the names he had come to know in the past two hours. Miroku was not one of them.

"Well, that is too bad…I didn't get your name." The man chided.

"That's cause I didn't give it." Hojo grumbled irritably, dusting off his pants.

A sigh was heard then, "Sorry about that. I just found it strange that _you _hanging around the building again. Are you a stalker?"

"A stalker?!" Hojo gasped, "What?! No! I live here!!"  
"That does explain who got that empty apartment. Sango and I were wondering about that…" Miroku confessed, his brows furrowing together.

"Sango…?" Hojo questioned. Who was Miroku? Who was Sango? How come the old lady downstairs had never introduced him?!

"My fiancé." Miroku said breezily, "I would prefer not to talk about her. She is visiting relatives during this holiday season."

Understanding that these two obviously, as fiancé's should be, were very close, he mentioned her no more.

"Actually, I do have something I would like to talk to you about." Miroku said, opening his apartment door, "Would you come in."

Hesitating Hojo gazed at the man.  He did seem rather strange, but despite that, the man could be trusted.

"It won't take too long. I hope." Miroku shrugged closing the door behind him and walking to his stovetop were he put on a kettle for tea.

"What kind would you like?" Miroku questioned searching through his cabinet, "Tea is the novelists best friend. It clears the mind, and enlightens the body."

"So you're a novelist? Oh, and green tea is fine." Hojo asked curiously, gazing about his room.  A collection of pictures were hung, from Japanese woodblock prints to works by Maxfield Parrish.

"Ah, green tea…the best of all teas." Miroku murmured to himself, preparing the pot. "And yes, I am a novelist. Although, technically I am classified as a 'writer', novels are just one of the things I do." He added after a moment, "I think the term 'writer' is too broad. I mean, you could be in third grade, and considered a writer! The word has no…depth, dare I say?"

Hojo, still observing the man's habits found him to be rather on the neat and tidy side, except for a desk that overlooked a window.  Papers were strewn across it, a typewriter, pencils, and an inkblock…Balls of paper were overflowing into a trashcan, and papers were pinned up surrounding the window, and then there were scattered piles of books about three feet high.  The books looked rather ancient.  On  top of one of these piles was a small brightly multi-colored creature.

"What sort of books have you written? That is, any that I have heard of?" Hojo retorted.

"All depends on what books you read." Miroku shrugged, arranging some rice crackers on a bowl, "My pen name is Toshiatsu Hiroyama."

Hojo choked, "Your Toshiatsu Hiroyama? The guy who wrote 'Welding of the Sword: the history of rural Japan during the Meiji restoration'?!"

Miroku shrugged modestly, "That is one of my better known works."

Hojo sat up, "Better known? My god, you're an expert on the history of Japan!  They are using that in Universities all over Japan! I should know, I am currently taking a class on Japan during the restoration…"

Miroku grinned, "Ah, but I do write other things. I have multiple names."

Hojo blinked, "Eh? Like what?"

Miroku smirked, "Such as Hajime Tsurimori."

Hojo's look on his face priceless. "Isnt that the person who writes…?"

He paused.

"Yes, romance novels. I do it for fun in-between books. It pays the bills." Miroku stated matter-a-factly.

Hojo released his pent up breath and fell back down against the soft cushion.  He quickly munched on a rice cracker.  
The tea was served, and Miroku joined Hojo on the ground.  Then for a time they sipped it in silence.  Then, Miroku placing down the cup gazed at Hojo.  "Now, to get down to business." Hojo regarded the man warily. 

Continuing, he began, "I have known Kagome for about five years now, my fiancé as well.  Sango and I really do not hold anything back, for better or for worse.  So, I know all about Kagome's…how shall I put it, 'situation' when it comes to men."

"You know about Naraku?" Hojo gaped.

Miroku nodded, shrugged and continued, "I know about you, Naraku, Kouga, Sesshoumaru, and Inu Yasha.  Although I am not attracted to Kagome in any way, I do understand why men flock to her.  To find a woman with strength and beauty and wit is not always an easy thing to do.  I am aware that she was nearly raped, and that currently four men are interested in her.  Or, at least a week ago they were."

"Four men?" Hojo asked suddenly, interrupting.

"Yes. Four. You, Kouga, Inu Yasha and Sesshoumaru." Miroku replied in earnest.

"Hold on a moment." Hojo flushed, "How do you know I am interested in Kagome at all?"

Miroku sipped a bit of tea, and said, "Hojo, I am not a popular romance novelist for nothing. I can see the sparks, or rather lack there of."

"Hey…" Hojo began, rather hurt.

"To be honest, don't kid yourself.  To Kagome you will never be anything more than a friend. The least thing you can do is make sure she is happy." Miroku informed a rather stunned Hojo.  This man did not beat around the bush, and Hojo admired that.

"Well, what do you mean? 'Make sure'?"  Hojo retorted.

"Ah. I knew you would catch on. This is where you and I come in." Miroku replied rather deviously, "I already know what Kouga, Naraku, and Inu Yasha look like. I have done my research, and the fact that Kouga lives in the building helps.  Inu Yasha and Naraku I have had to look into, but the problem is this damn Sesshoumaru is hard to find or get a hold of!" Miroku swore.

"Why are you so concerned about Kagome and her 'relationships'?" Hojo asked nervously.  This guy seemed more of a stalker to him…

"Well, actually," Miroku confessed, "I plan to stop my career as a romance novelist after this one last book.  It will be a great book, but not overly happy. The couple will not ride off into the sunset, you know? The story will be realistic. Bittersweet, like the chocolate.  Which do you prefer, milk or bittersweet?"

"I do prefer bittersweet." Hojo admitted feeling extremely foolish, "Milk is just…too…too…"

"Its overwhelmingly unrealistic, that's what it is." Answered Miroku for him, "It makes you want to gag. The last book I am writing is comprised of several love stories all combining. The plot revolves around my own relationship with Sango, and Kagome and her…dare I say, suitors?"

"Have you gotten her permission on this? And how the heck do you plan to write this when you don't know whom she is going to 'get together' with?" Hojo fumed irritably, rather irked that he was not the 'one' who would bring Kagome her happiness. 

"All there needs to be is a push towards one of them. I already know who is out of the races." Miroku shrugged.

"And that is…?" Hojo ventured.

"You'll have to buy the book, I need the money so I can buy a house as a wedding present for Sango. You'll just have to wait and see." Miroku said pouring himself another cup.

"So, what the hell does this have to do with me?" Hojo said heatedly.

"Your mad, aren't you?"

"What??"

"Kagome just told you everything, about all these men.  In addition, considering Naraku had already been beaten to a pulp, there is only one other person for you to turn to.  Only one other person has really treated her so badly. She trusted this person her whole life and look where he left her?  She could have been happy if he had kept is promise, right?  She believed it…and look where faith got her."

Hojo said nothing; the truth flowing in and around him was causing his anger to swell.

"Sesshoumaru needs to be told he has been a fucking bastard.  After that, everything will fall into place. Kagome will be happy." He finished, munching on a rice cracker.

"Who will she end up with?" Hojo asked; his throat dry.

"That, you will have to wait and see…" Miroku replied softly, his eyes dark and mysterious.

"So, are you saying that you want me to go the hospital and yell at Sesshoumaru?" Hojo questioned incredulously.

"Well, a good punch never did anyone any harm…" Miroku acknowledged.

"Do you now how ludicrous this is?" Hojo continued.

"Yes, I am more than aware.  Yet, time is running out for me. The editors are knocking on my door every week. I have to finish this novel and soon. I have to take matters into my own hands."

"She would never forgive you for this, you know."

"I don't believe that.   Temporary embarrassment in return for love and happiness?" Miroku questioned softly.  His hands were delicately fingering the inside of the empty teacup.  His gaze was intense, as he questioned, "Well?"

Hojo gazed down at the table once again.  He could hear his heart beat streaming through his ears.  Well, there was only one thing to do.  Technically, he could have just walked out of the apartment, yet…he had to admit, Miroku was right.  If he could not have Kagome, he at least wanted her to be happy…

```````

It figured that the damn nurses would give him the late shift. What did it matter if he was superior in ranks compared to them?  What did it matter if he had not slept in about twenty hours?  It was of no consolation, however, the thought that at least it would be quasi-quiet.  Pouring himself a cup of tea, he walked down the deserted halls of the hospital.  Most patients were being served their dinners, and the nurses were taking their breaks.  Most doctors either would have left for the day or would be completing some surgery. Running a hand through his hair, he found his thoughts dwelling on Kagome, as they had been all day.  To begin with, what was the transformation that had overtaken him in the darkness of the storage room? Secondly, why did he find it so attractive and yet repulsive at the same time?

Sneering, he took a sip of his coffee.  

Glancing up, he stopped walking and called out, "Hojo-san? What are you doing here?"

'Hojo' was walking down the hall of the hospital, had a very determined look on his face.  Following him was a man (of relatively the same age) in jeans and a sweater.  Never before had he seen the man.  Bowing out of respect, and to save face, he awaited Hojo's answer.

What he got was not what he expected.

The cup fell from his hands, shattering, and he stumbled back grasping his cheek in pain.  Gazing at the man, rage overwhelming his form, he spat, "What the fuck as that for?"

Hojo was breathing heavily now, his dark eyes hard and cold.

"That was for Kagome."

What?  How did this man know about his relationship with Kagome?  Well, he supposed, he must have been told.  This was going to prove very fragile.  Standing up straight, he glared at the man in anger. Whatever his relationship with Kagome was, this man had no right to deliver him a punch like that.  Flexing his muscles slightly, he was interrupted from beating the shit out of the guy when the man behind him said gently, "That's enough, Hojo-san."

Who was his man??!

The man made his way towards Hojo, and put his hand on the trembling shoulder.

"No, its not. I came here for you, and Kagome, and I am going to finish!" Hojo snapped irritably.

Miroku wanted to smile, wanted to laugh.  Hojo was really a good guy, but how quickly he fell into the role he had designed for him!

"Hojo…" he began again.

"Shut up!" Hojo snarled, "This bastard needs to be told."

"What did you say…?" Sesshoumaru hissed stepping closer.

"Yeah. That's right. You are lower, lower than your brother! At least he treats Kagome with respect, at least he does not play with her emotions like you!" Hojo paused, his eyes bearing deep into his suddenly revealed soul. "She believed in you her whole life! Even in high school when guys fell for her every other day, she believed you would keep your promise! I had to listen to the story so many times, and how many times I envied you! How many times I wished I could be you! But, not any more.  Who would want to be you? A coward, a liar…!"  Hojo lunged towards him again, but was halted as the man in the sweater grabbed his arms strongly.

"Hojo, stop…"

"No! Why should I?  My happiness is destroyed because of you…! Because she believed in you, the 'high and mighty' Sesshoumaru! She believed in you like an idiot…!" Tears had begun to well up in his eyes… "Because of  you…!"

"How dare you!" Sesshoumaru spat venomously. "How dare you…"

The man pulled the enraged Hojo slowly, bit by bit towards the door.  An apologetic smile rested on his face, "Excuse us. He got…carried away…"

Sesshoumaru would have liked to beat the pulp out of this man, if he was not still in shock for what had been said to him. Yet, despite the rudeness of his manner, the words he had spoken were the truth.  His past actions had finally come to slap him in the face, and he grinned sarcastically thinking that he could escape his actions. It was as though the circle had been completed, and here he was: right where he had started. He was alone now in the hospital, his shattered mug resting by his feet.  The pieces revealed the inner workings, its glaze beautiful, but the inside was just made of clay, which was essentially dirt.  They glittered, and shone, and it struck him as ironic that he should relate to the pieces of a shattered mug that had once held tea.  He had once been composed at one time, holding all that was presented to him. Now his true character was revealed, he was a farce and everything had been torn to shreds. It was more fear and confusion that startled him right now.  The fear that Kagome still loved him…the fear of the actions he would have to take to set things correct. Yet, realistically, Kagome had to be a saint if she would accept him. This worthless dirt which everyone around wanted to kick out in the streets. He had no comrades to come running to his defense, he had no allies…he had nothing, except her.  This was a dark though indeed, that all his faith and happiness rested on this person who might not even…understand.

Outside the hospital in the old night air, smelling of pine needles, and Christmas cooking, Miroku questioned, "Hojo? Was that for real…?"

Walking quickly away, Hojo mumbled, "Shut up." His anger and passion surrounded his figure most obviously. His manner was altered. No longer was his stride amiable, but now it was almost a revengeful prowling.

Evidently, the words Hojo had spoken were no lie.  The anger had not been a charade.

Miroku tried not to grin.  It was only a matter of time before he could get to work on his novel. Only a matter of time…Gazing up at the night stars which twinkled faintly in the lights of Tokyo, Miroku began to plan the ending to his novel.  By New Years, it would be ready to hit the public world. This would be the greatest success…

There was an unspoken agreement….

````````

AN: WA HA HA HA HA HA! I am sooooooooooooooooo evil, ne? R + R, I swear! I need to get motivated!! NEXT CHAPTER: don't miss it…its basically the climax. Also, sorry for how short this is, and any spelling errors. I decided just to update it, and not wait for my beta-reader this time. Anywho, yeah….strange, ne? and yes! Guys do cry!


	19. Author's Note

Authors Notes:

I plan to update the last and final chapter to Forgotten Wish later on this evening.  I decided that as a Christmas gift to all my fans I would do so…but, I must warn you, I have been dreading this final chapter. Not only because I am uninspired; but also because I do not want to let you down.

I hope that the journey we took was a fun one, and you come and join again for "Shadows against a Shoji Screen."

Sincerely,

The author

Lexi aka Cappie


	20. Chapter 18: the finale

AN: There is a scene in here with two guys in a tub.  NO. They are not gay. For those unaware, in Japan, men bathe together.  They clean themselves before they go into the bath, and use the bath for soaking. This is a traditional custom. So, all you yaoi fans (myself included) don't go barking up the wrong tree.

Also…unless I get really, REALLY inspired, chapter 18 will be the last chapter.  I do end it rather suddenly, but I figured at least end it, you know? I did not want to leave everyone hanging. If I ever feel like it I will write an alternate ending.  This chapter is basically just tying up the loose ends, although Naraku is strangely absent…and… the romance which does happen is…well, its disappointing, that's what it is…I know, I know! I will get flamed to death! But, if I have to write any IY story, I will continue work on Shadows…but at the moment I have gravitated away from it…

Notes: mochi is like pounded rice that forms a really strange texture…you eat it around new years in Japan.  

AN: okay, I was gunna double/triple check this again…but…its 12:20 on Christmas day. Sorry, but sleep is calling moi. Hope I did not over look too much. Gomen gomen!

Forgotten Wish

Chapter 18

Gingerly he passed her a piece of paper from across the table.  In the eerie silence of midday, the thick texture scratched only slightly against the broad oak table.  The bumps, crests and ridges of this paper were revealed now, its scent old and mysterious, full of memories from sunny days in the country, full of dark searing nights in mid summer.  Sesshoumaru's golden eyes drank greedily at Kagome's small form in the chair, before swiftly walking towards the window.

Glancing up at him in apprehension, she found her voice rather soft, subdue, "What is this for?"

He had moved his head ever so slightly and was now gazing out and towards the sky. Large puffy clouds drifted lazily over the scene of shimmering white, causing illusions of shadows to every now and then cast the building into a gray chilly darkness.

His tawny eyes were misted over in mystery and apprehension; he said in a cool, reserved way, as though he had not even heard her last remark, "What time are you leaving for Kobe?"

Startled, but not showing, Kagome questioned, "How did you know?"  She found her self-consciously studying his profile, which had once again turned to the snow outside the window. It was untouched by people, its beauty unmarred.  It sparkled.  It was created of every color that was possible, and its beauty was almost blinding.  He was truly stunning. Attractive and elegant and noble in a way that was non-existent in the world; there was no longer such a beauty.  He was the last of his kind.

His voice was vague, shrouded in darkness, "I heard you mention it to Ito…"

Kagome, turning her own eyes to the snow scene whispered, "I see…"

The two were quiet for a moment, a moment that felt like eternity. It was calm, strangely so, despite the forces at work.  They could feel the electricity, though each would deny the storm was about to break. Each was content to look the other way.  If they contemplated each other the truth would be known—and this emotion was not yet ready.

"Kagome…" Sesshomaru breathed in his distinctive way, "Don't leave until tonight at the earliest. On the paper is an address…" He paused, now facing her seated form.  There was intensity in his eyes.  A yearning, a demanding, an unquenchable anger and hatred, "Go there."

"What is there?"  She did not need to ask; she already knew the answer.

Sun broke through, and a chessboard of light and shadows danced gaily across the floor of the empty nurses quarter.  Through this hazy radiance, the two gazed at each other in mutual admiration for some time, until finally, the real world caught them and they could no longer escape from the distorted reality.

Slipping the thick piece of paper into her pocket, she said a few goodbyes's to the nurses, and headed to her apartment where she began to gather her clothes for the journey she would now take.  Yet, the address was imprinted on her mind, and every time she closed her eyes, she would see his impassive face gazing at her. An expression that she would learn the meaning of…

````````

Brewing himself a cup of tea, Sesshoumaru placed the porcelain pot onto his polished mahogany table.  Against his wishes, against everything he had taught himself all his life: he was nervous. This feeling would not leave that quickly.  He felt somewhat sick and pent up, as if he had never stretched a day in his life. As if he had never hunted, never lusted in battles, never enjoyed the look of agony impressed against peoples faces.  The life he had known disappeared. He was innocent. He was freshly laid snow. 

The light knock against his door caused him to instinctively look up from the table.  Something began to flow through his body, a great throbbing sensation.  It was soft in itself. Gentle, like far off lights reflecting against the ocean.  Setting down his teacup, he strode towards the front door.  The portal in which she had entered.  The portal in which she would now enter.  And into this other world she would stay.

She had to stay.

Unlocking the entry, he released the door, and peered into the hallway lit with sunlight streaming in throughout skylights.

"Hello." Said the person, the voice soft, coaxing, and utterly beautiful.

"Hello." He replied, restrained, collected, calm, and cool.

"Won't you come in?"  He offered kindly stepping aside and letting the slim well proportioned figure make her way in the entrance.

"Thank you. Yet, only for a moment, I must be off…" the voice paused, her lips slightly parted, as though a distressful feeling was washing over her.

"I know. I expected as much."  He replied, leaning against the wall, eyeing her lazily.

"You are always aware, aren't you?  That is what I first noticed all those years ago…" The breathy voice once again paused.  Her deep dark eyes gazed hesitantly at Sesshoumaru's form, "But…that was years ago.  I have lost you, haven't I?"

"Yes. You have."  His eyes narrowed slightly and he felt a draft from the open window in the kitchen.

"It was foolish of me to try to believe."  The figure now held her leather purse in her hands, "I am sorry—"

"You don't have to tell me this. You are forgiven.  I knew one day you would see."  Sesshoumaru lowered his gaze, his voice soft.

"Let me continue. Please.  I have caused you so much pain…"

"If anything you only made these past years more exciting.  Exciting in a not enjoyable way."

There was a soft, gentle laugh.  A laugh of regrets.

And then, there was silence. A great thick silence in which the tears rolled down her flawless face and fell onto the worn wooden floors.

"Look at me…I have cried and cried…"

"And, you will continue to cry. But—" Sesshoumaru sighed, slightly annoyed.

"But, I have seen, like a good girl, that I do not deserve you.  And, that is better anyhow, don't you agree?"

Her tears had stopped.  He made no reply.

"How foolish I have been.  How very foolish.  It is for this reason I have decide to leave the hospital, and transfer to one in Okinawa."

"That is not necessary."

"Yes, it is.  Do not lie to me Sesshoumaru. I have known you too long, too well."

Once again, he made no reply.

"I trust that things will work themselves out."

"I am finding that faith and hope is a very good thing, for the first time in my life."  He smirked slightly, once again looking at her.  She was truly beautiful.  Women would slaughter for her looks, her grace, her charm…but he had known a darker side, a side which she had only shown to him.  It was their secret. 

 This was a wise move indeed.  In Okinawa, she could start a family with a loving man.  The housewife was where she was best suited.  She would run the temple, teach archery…make mochi on new years…this was truly the life that this timeless beauty desired…

"I believe I agree."  She laughed.

She moved forward, her hands outstretched.  She would not embrace him, but instead, like a blind person, she reached out and grasped his hand while gently placing something cold and hard into it.  Moving away he studied the figurine, he had been presented with.  Simple and plain there was a charm that rendered it dear to his heart.

"Give it to her. Whoever she may be."

Nodding he walked into the entry way as she stepped out into the hall.  Bowing she said once again, "I'm sorry."

"I hope for your happiness."

Perhaps it was not a lie.  Perhaps.

"Goodbye Sesshoumaru."

"Goodbye Kikyou."

``````

"My bother…" Inu Yasha snarled in a dangerously low voice, "Sesshoumaru…?"

Kagome made no response, and yet avoided his eyes.  There was a crash as Inu Yasha hurled an object across the room.  The pieces sparkled in the afternoon sun and then fell to the floor in a shattering silence.

"How could you…?"  

The expression in his eyes was beyond reason, beyond logic.  It was pure emotion, torment, anger, and frustration.  It was jealousy.

"Inu Yasha…"

"How could you?" he yelled angrily, once again throwing something at the wall.  

There was silence and Inu Yasha breathed deeply.

Golden color that of his eyes, poured in through the open windows of his apartment.  And he stood there, his body taught, vibrating with emotion, his eyes bleary and unseeingly looking at Kagome.

"Inu Yasha," she began again, "Try to understand, won't you?"

"Understand what? The fact that your in love with my fucking brother?"  

His form was utterly still now. A panther waiting to attack.

"I did not say I was in love." Kagome said angrily, her annoyance rising.

"That's bullshit, and both you and I know it.  Everyone knows you two are an item.  People wonder everyday when you are going to get together."  He spat angrily at the floor, his eyes never leaving Kagome's figure.  He studied her through those glazed eyes.  Glazed with a passion she would never feel for him.

Never.

It had died.

"If everyone knew it, why didn't you just accept the fact? This supposed fact?"  Kagome shouted bitterly, crossing her arms, "If people have known about it, why are you reacting like a child?"

He exploded.

"Why? Why? Like a child? Kagome, for years I have loved you! I have hoped that somehow you would see me.  No. It was always him. It has always been him!  It will forever be him! The brother who turned my life into a living hell?  The brother who treated you like crap for years!"

"Inu Yasha…!" Kagome tried to interrupt.

"And you choose him?  For the rest of my life I will be tortured with the fact that you chose him over me?  He who has had it so easy!  He, who is not half as much as an outcast from society as I am!"

"Just be quiet.  It's not his fault that your father died.  Its not his fault that your father didn't claim you as his own.  Life does not work out that way.  Bad things have happened to me too, Inu Yasha. I got over them."  Kagome screamed at the top of her lungs. "And you need to get over this issue with him.  One day when you really need him you will realize what an ass you were."

Inu Yasha stepped swiftly forward, pressing his mouth firmly against her own.  Digging deeply, hoping, searching, probing…trying to find a love which he had thought they had possessed.  This figure he had wanted to hold in his arms and kiss fervently as he was doing so now—was cold. She did not respond. Kagome did not move a muscle.

Pulling away, breathing heavily, he questioned, "Tell me, you did not feel anything."

"I am leaving now," Kagome whispered hollowly, her eyes reflecting like glass.

"Tell me!" he snarled.

She gazed at him, a look full of utter abandonment and disappointment on her features.

"Whether I love Sesshoumaru or not, I have made my decision. Excuse me."

Brushing past Inu Yasha she left him in the room, with golden sunlight streaming against his silver hair.

A few second later he stumbled against the wall, trying to hide from the light of day his tears.

``````

A cool breeze felt rather wonderful against his hot and damp body.  Sitting in a tub at 102 degrees was really quite wonderful. Sprawling in an oversized wooden Japanese bathtub in 102 degrees water while writing the final chapter to his romantic masterpiece was heavenly.

The words dripped off his fingers like water off his body, and he enjoyed every minute of it—except for the fact that Kouga was sharing the tub with him.

He hated having to share tubs.  Especially with men. Women, particularly Sango, well, that was another story.

Taking a sip of Cola, he glanced at Kouga who was reading some anime magazine with a special on 70's robotic anime series.  It disturbed him how much like those freaky anime otaku Kouga was.  He could almost picture him at a convention.  The thought of spandex disturbed him.

Snorting with laughter, he turned back to the typewriter, trying not to jostle the water.

"What ARE you laughing at?" Kouga snapped, turning the page.

"Oh, nothing, nothing," Miroku smirked, as he began to construct the next scene…

Slowly he lowered his gaze until it fell upon her bare body. A demon gleam came to his eyes, a gleam that one would expect a great samurai to have as blood dripped from his sword under the full moon.  Unbuttoning his silken shirt, he smiled gently, his eyes gazing deeply into the large sapphire orbs that lay beneath him, "Do you know how long I have desired you…?"

_A shuddering sigh came from Yuki, which was sprawled beneath his form, slightly shivering from the cool winds that ruffled her dark hair.  _

_Bowing his head, he gently nibbled on her earlobe as gasps and sighs of ecstasy escaped from her swollen mouth—_

"Do you mind?" Miroku glowered at Kouga who was leaning over the tub, reading the last paragraph.

"Do you know you're writing soft porn?" Kouga mumbled interestingly as he flipped through a few pages past in which the breasts of Yuki were described for about two paragraphs, the rest of her body for another five, Minoru (who played the misunderstood aloof man) had 10 paragraphs describing his body. Three were devoted to the kiss. Four were devoted to the places they explored in the mouths, and how Minoru and Yuki were stripped of each other's clothes.  Now Miroku was getting to the good part. 

"You call it soft porn. I call it the next Pride and Prejudice, thank you very much."  Miroku grumbled irritably, "I do have a deadline to make, you know."

"People actually pay you to write this?" Kouga asked, awe struck, "Wow…I guess it makes all kinds, doesn't it?"

"Shut up."  

"Oi, Miroku…" Kouga mumbled quietly after a moment.

Deciding he would be allowed no more work in the tub, Miroku questioned, "What?"

"Kagome…"

"What about her?"

"I told her. How I felt."

Miroku nodded. He knew this of course.

"Did you? What did she do?"

"Well…"

He would not press. After all, the boy was dying to tell someone. Anyone. Obviously, he was the last resort.

A few more moments' silence.

"She sort of…well, she ran off."

"I see.  How exactly did you 'explain?'"

"I kissed her! What else is there TO do?"

"What else, indeed."

"But lately…"

"Yes?"

"Well…she is distant. She is always around—"

"Around who, Kouga?"

"Around this asshole."

"Oh. I see."

"I hate him."

"Why?"

"Because she hangs around him! She sticks up for him!"

"Well, this may be completely wrong, ludicrous, and insane… but maybe she cares for him."

"Who could care for an icicle like him?"

"Her. Just a guess here though."

"I bet he is paying her."

"Do you really think Kagome would do that?"

"Well…"

"Would you care for her so much if she would do something like that?"

Kouga was now going deeper into the water, his face just resting above the surface.  Miroku lit his pipe, which he only smoked to give him something to do in awkward moments.  Kouga would need time to adjust to the fact that Kagome was not interested in him, physically, emotionally, or sexually.

"I didn't know you smoked," noted Kouga watching his ritual.

"I picked it up in college." Miroku lied, lighting a match, and then letting it fall into the water.

"I just don't understand!"

"About smoking?" Miroku asked, feigning ignorance.

"No! About Kagome!"

"Oh. Well. Can I give you my opinion as your superior?"

Kouga glowered at him, then, heaved a great sigh, and grumbled, "Fine. Give me your opinion."

"Give her up. It's been how many years now?"

"Well…uh…" Kouga began to count on his fingers.

"Too many. That is what. If she has not made any sign that she is interested: move on. That is the best advice I can give you. Move on."

There was a long silence, and only the smell of tobacco and the murmuring of water were heard.

Right before Kouga sunk beneath the water, a look of utter loss and despair swept across his features.

And Miroku, closing his eyes, thought bitter-sweetly, _It is over._

``````

Hojo leaned casually against the brick wall that surrounded the school.  The sun was golden in the Christmas Eve afternoon.  From across the schoolyard, a bell rang and there was a muted cheer from the recesses of the building.  The sounds of footsteps crunching across the snow, the shouts of voices, the laughs of girls, the greetings, and the farewells all blended.  Walking towards the gate, Hojo grinned, glancing through the crowd of junior highschoolers. Girls in their uniforms, shivering, the boys laughing, throwing snowballs—holiday merriment, Hojo thought.

In the distance, Hojo saw a familiar figure bound out of the building, waving goodbye to someone in the halls.  He saw the deep honey colored eyes turn to him.  He saw the smile that lit his face.  He heard the voice shout over the crowd.

"Hojo..!"

Grinning he made his way forward to the figure and shouted, "Come on, Shippou, lets go back to Asakasa! I've already asked permission."

Shippou's eyes lit up, but pausing, he questioned, "Is Kagome coming?"

Hojo smiled gently, sadly, but a smile nevertheless, and replied, "Yes, but not today. She promised me after Christmas.  Here is her proof."

Taking out of his pocket a large Christmas card, smelling of cinnamon sticks, he handed it to Shippou.  He opened it, carefully, and reading the contents, he glanced up at Hojo, flashed a grin, then replied, "Lets go then."

Hojo returned the expression and began to chat with him about this man he had a conversation with on the subway today. Supposedly, the man is a master of karate, and offered to give him, or his family member lessons.  It seems like an excellent opportunity. Shippou agreed.

````

Slowly Kagome raised her hand to the door, and moving it, sound was heard, and a slight ache was felt on her knuckles.  Lowering her hand, and adjusting the satchel on her shoulder, she gazed down at the piece of heavy paper that Sesshoumaru had given her earlier that day. The address was printed clearly in his flowing script, and glancing at the apartment number, she found herself wondering if she was in the wrong building. Perhaps even the wrong street.

Adjusting her satchel again, she began to turn to depart, but the sound of the lock echoed through the silence of the hall, and glancing over her shoulder she found that the keeper of the apartment had opened the door.   

A few scattered thoughts flashed through her head as she tried to digest the expression he wore. It was emotionless as usual, and yet, at the same time there was a depth in his eyes.  The abysses were full of happiness, sorrow, and amusement.

A sculpted eyebrow rose, and he smirked, "I did not know if you would come."

Leaning against the door he watched as she turned around, enjoying the fact that he was responsible for the color that came to her pale cheeks. Sesshoumaru was a vision of darkness.

"I didn't know if I would come either." Kagome admitted, once again adjusting her leather-traveling bag.

"How much longer do you have?"  Sesshoumaru inquired, not moving an inch, but instead greedily drinking her.

"Until the train?"  Kagome questioned, her voice just above a whisper.

"Yes. Until the train."  

He moved his hips and beckoned her into his apartment with the swift move with his hands.  Moving into the darkness of the hall, he watched her enter, and slip off her shoes, while still fingering the leather strap to her bag delicately.

"One leaves on the hour, every hour."  Kagome admitted, finding her becoming even more hot and flustered as she entered Sesshoumaru's apartment.  She could sense his presence everywhere.  The smell was that of traditional incense mixed with fragrant wood. The decorations and furniture were beautiful robust pieces. There was nothing false, or even ostentatious.  Everything was as it was meant to be in nature.  Everything was spectacular and subdue. 

Sesshoumaru made no response.

"Sesshoumaru…is there something you wanted to talk to me about?"  Kagome questioned nervously, trying to avoid his gaze by studying the artwork of the entryway halls.

"Yes, there is, Kagome.  Would you like a cup of tea?"

There was something almost gentle in his voice.  Yet, at the same time extremely attractive, as though he was offering himself to her.  As though he was now hers.

"No thank you."  Kagome retorted, "Actually," she bitterly dropped the bag on the wooden floor with a clank, "I do need to go, so whatever you summoned me here for, I would like to know…"

Chuckling, Sesshoumaru placed the teapot on the kettle without lighting the stove.

"You have not changed, have you?"

Grimacing she grumbled irritably, "No. But you have."

Sesshoumaru smirked, "Really? Have I now?"  

Slowly, he walked towards her, his body smooth and sleek, highlighted by the last rays of day. 

Kagome felt some of her anger evaporate and took a small step back.  She was tired of hopelessness. She was tired of loss, of disappointment, of sorrow and despair.  Yet, most of all, she was tired of the roller coaster which she was forever put on when Sesshoumaru was near.  Kagome did not want to know the answer, for she felt as though she could not bear to hear another regret.  Her happiness had passed long ago…and even today, she had lost hope.  Kagome realized, she had chased a dream, tred upon a cloud, and now she was falling down to earth.  Soon she would hit the bottom…

"Kagome…" Sesshoumaru breathed inaudibly, standing not a few inches away.

Meeting his features, Kagome found that his usually amber eyes were fixed to her face, as though studying every detail.  She was aware of his subtle scent that had remained the same from childhood. It was intoxicatingly free. Casting her eyes downward once again, she tried not to think, tried not to anticipate, tried not to hope. 

Sesshoumaru could no longer wait.  It was to be now.  It was foreordained…and if perhaps it was not, at the moment he did not care.  He wanted what stood before him.

Sesshoumaru lowered his head slightly until their foreheads were meeting, yet only faintly.  He inhaled her scent that was now surrounding him like quiet dawn.  All emotions that he had felt, desires, and fears which he had locked deep inside him were slowly coming apart.

"I…" he began.  It was a sentence he would never finish.

Leaning ever closer, aware of every detail of her being, he kissed Kagome, letting his eyes descend as their lips met; and suddenly the swirling darkness felt like velvet perfection, and clear blackness of his heart became the color of completion. His fingers released his grip around Kagome wrist, and moved to hold her dainty hand, their fingers entwining; everything else fell away like a crumbling nightmare, and all that mattered was what he had now.  What he held in his hand and what he tasted on the tip of his tongue.

Sesshoumaru's hands moved up to hold Kagome's slim, elegant shoulders; he prodded her up against the nearby wall, firmly yet not forcefully.  Grasping Kagome, he kissed her hard, almost desperately, yet not painfully.  He would never want to hurt her. The taste and flavor was beautiful, and addictive; it repulsed him how much his self control was withering.

A few more minutes and he would be completely at her mercy.

 Kagome did not move at all for a moment.  It was as though she was not alive, as though she was nonexistent.  And the force of his kiss, which he continued to deliver, stunned even Sesshoumaru.  Yet, Kagome's lips slowly parted, and franticly she deepened the kiss. Kagome had never really kissed before.  It has always been someone kissing her, emotions being forced upon her.  Yet, in a moment she realized the emotion that she was returning was the same as every embrace before. The emotion she felt was like the first day of spring, hesitant, yet as the day continued it grew and blossomed.   However, her emotions towards Sesshoumaru were not innocent like that of blossoming spring. They were far from it. She desired him as oxygen, and surprising even herself, she pressed her body deeply against his own. There was nothing left between them except the rapid beating of their hearts, and the feverish kiss they shared as if it was their last, or first...  It was as though all his emotions he had kept behind bars all his life had fell away.  He could no longer control his actions. 

And the world was theirs. A swirl of passion, flowing faster and faster and faster.  Soon…it would break…

Kagome let out a sound like a muffled sob and gasp against Sesshoumaru's lips.  Pressing down against her body, his silver strands of hair fell across her clothes, and he was aware of the arousing nature of her scent. Sesshoumaru's arms slid down to encircle Kagome's thin waist; he dimly noticed her hands slide up his chest, moving to encircle around his neck, her trembling, anxious fingers tangling in his hair.  His skin burned with her fingers pressed against it.

A deep terrible fire was beginning.

And through it all Kagome heard his voice, within her, as he would soon be, quietly calling out her name. His soft, comforting voice. How strange it was, she noted, that she had come to know his voice so well, his strange intonations and the way he accentuated some words. And in that moment of time, a few seconds at least, the world had stopped for them. Nothing mattered, only the darkness which would surround them, the heat that was engulfing them and keeping them close. In an extraordinary way—she felt content, as if this was what she had always desired. To be loved, and cared for, with no regard for anyone but him …perhaps this was her destiny…Yet at the time she could care less about destiny.  She wanted him, as he was now, without regrets, but only desires which were being fulfilled.

Pulling slightly away, she silently studied him.  His eyes aflame with passion, their depths crashing and burning against emotions which were at constant battle within his heart, his lips now parted from the kiss, his hair like pure moonlight falling against his light skin.  His expression was a concoction of passion and untapped desire. His lips moved, silently, and she followed them as they moved nearer and nearer to her features.   
Only the breathing could be heard, their quiet, rhythmic breathing mingling together, grasps and moans, exploring the world of shadows.    
  


Once upon a time, there was a girl and a boy who promised to marry when they grew older.  Yet, life was not kind to them…and soon they separated…

_Years passed and all except the keepers of the promise forgot the story.  There was no such hope, for promises were overrated._

_And the years passed…_

_Yet one day a wind blew from the east, a direction where things begin, and the girl set off in search of a new life, without restrictions, with out promises and without regret._

_She failed._

_The boy turned towards the west, the direction where things end, and he was content among the dying soldiers of the past._

_Yet, he was whisked away._

_And the two discovered that promises are not easily fulfilled and not easily forgotten…and that love could happen many times. _

_ Yet, love is a matter of choice, not of chance._

_Owari,_


End file.
